The Adventures of the Tyrannical Crown Prince Vance

From Bad To Worse!!!

2010-09-08T20:37:00.003-05:00

The title of this blog does not refer to my life, it refers to my secretary!!!! I use to think that she was a pitiful secretary for neglecting my blog but it seems that just when you think she couldn't get any worse---she did!! I even got complaint mail about her!! Mommy even assured Ms. Mary that she would update the blog a few weeks ago but did she??? NO!!! My deepest apologies Ms. Mary. Rest assured I have taken appropriate disciplinary action against my crummy secretary. Apparently my secretary thinks posting pictures of me on Facebook and a few witty updates about my latest shenanigans is sufficient---Well it's not!!

So here's the skinny on the past six months of my life:

1. Mommy and Daddy felt the need to sign me up for swimming lessons.

2. I let a revolt at swim school which resulted in me and my swim school buddies getting sent home from swim school and I almost got completely expelled. (Mommy was not happy at all about this one---I even got grounded until the next swim class at which time I was expected to act properly).

3. I have blossomed into a champion swimmer!!! I can swim the free-style like a four year old professional, jump off the diving board, float on my back, and swim to the bottom of the deep end to get my toys!!

4. I got to spend a Saturday hanging out with the coolest godparents ever. I took them all over town, went to Chuck E. Cheese, rode the trolley, and showed them where all the cool train tracks are.

5. I have completely mastered that old lingering problem regarding the bathroom.

6. I have moved up to the Care Bear room!!! Yay!

7. I am in the process of learning that a gentleman does not hit girls! Mommy says I can't hit them even if they are begging for it.

8. I am in the process of learning that I should get use to girls taking my stuff from me. Mommy smiled at me and said that I will completely understand this later in life.

9. I am in the process of learning that if my best friend is mean to me that I should find a new best friend.

10. I am in the process of learning that just because one twin girl hits me that doesn't mean I can hit both girls to make sure that I got the right one.

11. I learned that when I am in trouble at the Baby Penitentiary that Mommy is quite willing and capable of making the commute there just to scare me for being bad.

12. I am in the process of learing that Mommy and Daddy really are pretty good at playing "Good Cop/Bad Cop."

13. Mommy is the the process of undoing the physcological damage she inflicted on me by telling me that the police will take naughty little boys to jail. I am now in the process of learning that the police are our friends and will help us when we are in trouble and only take naughty little girls to jail. (Secretary's Note: Zack became fearful of the police and wouldn't go into any store that a police officer was in and his fear was getting worse. To the point of if he were lost and the police were trying to run after him to help him he would probably keep on running. Obviously not a well thought out scare tactic!!!)

14. I am starting my first official team sport---SOCCER!!!! Daddy is my coach (Mommy is the real coach and will be coaching behind the scenes to help Daddy), so I will be learning to share my Daddy with other kids---wish me luck with that!!!

Well that is all for now. I promise that my Secretary will do a better job of updating everyone and I am sure that my very first soccer team will provide her plenty of opportunties to have something to write about. Until next time---CHOO CHOO!!!

Oh Goodness!!!

2010-03-14T20:54:00.004-05:00

I must apologize for my secretary. Even though there is a recession and lay offs everywhere, she is pretty confident that she is not going to get a pink slip from me. She explained that since she provides clothes, food, fun and toys that I have to endure with her falling down on the blog. I may be little but she has a valid point there!

So where to begin??? Hmmmm! Well, I do want to point out that one of my balloons from my birthday party is still floating around the house. We are very impressed seeing that it arrived in the house on December 5 and now we are coming up on the Ides of March! Unfortunately though it does not still blare "Happy Birthday To You". I am sad about that because it drives Mommy and Daddy nuts.

Bella is becoming my bestest friend. Mommy even lets her lay up on the bed with us at bedtime. Unfortunately Daddy boots her out of the bed when he comes to bed. Daddy wasn't too impressed this evening when I chose to have Bella tuck me in rather than him. Ha!!

Guess what?? We had lots and lots of snow last month. There was snow everywhere. Daddy helped me make my very own Frosty!! I had a blast playing in the snow and throwing snowballs at everyone.

Also, Grandma spend a few days with us after she had the doctor fix her back. I was gentle with Grandma though. I even told Mommy that I would rub Grandma's back and make it feel better. Mommy just thinks I am the sweetest and most thoughtful boy ever. Well most of the time she thinks that. Anyway, Grandma is doing great now. She even came to visit us the other day. Turns out that I am being raised by parents who are not the brightest bulbs in the box. The other night we were taking Grandma to dinner and well turns out that we left the house to go to dinner right as a tornado was pointing itself right near our house. Granny Bev kept calling making a fuss about tornadoes, so Daddy turned around and took us back home. Well the tornado came in the three minutes it took us to leave and come back. Our house is okay minus a bunch of shingles but a bunch of trees at the other end of our subdivision were blown down. Needless to say, Daddy was ordered to get the weather alert back out of the closet so we don't make the mistake of leaving in the middle of a tornado again. Anyway, we got to go camping that night because we didn't have any power. Mommy promised the power would be back on the following morning. Guess what?? She was right!!!!

Today, I helped Daddy pick up all the sticks and branches in our yard. Bella helped too but really think she was a mulcher because she chewed up all of the branches. Well that really is all for now!

Oh My Goodness!!!

2010-01-18T21:18:00.003-06:00

I cannot believe that my secretary went this long without updating my blog. I really ought to get me a new secretary! Well, where should I begin??

It turns out that Santa thought that I was a very good boy last year because he visited me at school, video called me on Skype and came to my house on Christmas Eve. Mommy did have to explain to me to not get my hopes up at school about Santa bringing me the HO train set from Target because the school Santa only brings books. Turns out Mommy was right--I got 'Twas the Night Before Christmas. Turns out that Santa didn't want to chance catching double pink eye from Mommy so he Skyped me instead. Guess what? Santa really is magic. He told me that he left me a present by my beloved vacuum cleaner. Guess what? I ran to the closet that my vacuum lives in and there was a train set! Santa Rocks!!! The bestest gift though was the present that Santa brought me while I was sleeping on Christmas Eve. Mommy and Daddy assured me that if Santa thought I was a really good boy all year long he just might bring me the big wow HO train set I threw such a huge fit over in Target. (Yes, it was a super huge screaming bloody murder fit--I did apologize the next day over the fit because I didn't get any toy that day because of it. Mommy is mean though because the very next day she made me walk by the train set while we were trying to locate the toy she authorized me getting the day before. I am happy to report though that I did not throw a fit and merely told Mommy that Santa would bring me that train set if I were a good boy. Unfortunately for me though, Mommy made me walk past that train set every time we went Target from that day forward. I was really sad the day we walked past the spot and the last train set was gone.) Fortunately for me, Santa felt that I was a really good boy all year long because my big wow HO train set at Target was waiting for me!

I got another great train set for Christmas too. I got a super fast train set from Grandpa and Granny Bev. I am not allowed to break it though! I got all kinds of other trains and accessories. I got some clothes but I wasn't at all impressed with them. Mommy is sad about that, I use to at least fake an oooooohh and an awwwwww when I opened clothes, now I just toss them aside and say "oh clothes!" Thanks everyone for making my Christmas a very Trainy Christmas.

Mommy had double viral pink eye for ten days over Christmas. She looked horrible and we banished her to the garage apartment. Daddy and I had complete run of the house. Mommy did come down at one point because I was bossing Daddy around. I explained to Mommy that I was in charge and that she needed to go back to her "sick room". Mommy just stared at me for a minute then explained to me that I was going to have a hard time adjusting to reality when she got out of the sick room. Ha! I enjoyed my reign of terror while it lasted. Daddy did great and we left each other in one piece.

Mommy and I welcomed in the New Year by falling into a deep sleep by nine o'clock. What can we say, we are morning people! I think Daddy and Sebastian were the only ones up at the New Year. Oh well, Mommy and I partied the on New Year's by entertaining Grandpa and Granny Bev when they came over for lunch.

Mommy and Daddy took me to Grandma Dale's for a belated Christmas (turns out Mommy may as well have been a leper because nobody wanted her around them with those eyes!) Guess what Grandma got me??? Yep, you guessed it---I got a train. Ha! I sure love trains.

Well, this past weekend I went to Baby Jacob's first birthday party. Guess what? He isn't a baby anymore. He is the big ONE and is moving around all on his own. I had a blast at Jacob's party and I got to help open his presents and blow out his candle. Thanks Ms. Courtney and Ms. Courtney's Mommy. (My own Mommy wasn't too understanding about me wanting to help after all, the memory is fresh in her mind about my tantrum about having to open my own presents and blow out my candles at my party. All I can say is, it was my party and I could have a tantrum if I wanted to.)

I guess that is all for now.

Happy Birthday To Me!!!

2009-11-30T11:47:00.002-06:00

Guess what everyone??? I turned the big 4 today!!! I got to stay home from the Baby Penitentiary today because Mommy says no boy should have to spend his birthday in the Baby Penitentiary! I got all kinds of presents today...I got a new car, new trains, a computer (so I can get on the Internet--Mommy says, "Yeah right") and a new Little Einsteins book. I even got to eat Birthday cake for breakfast. Am I lucky or what???

I get to have a big birthday bash on Saturday. It is going to be a Little Einsteins birthday party and everyone is going to come and partay!!!

2009-11-19T21:48:00.001-06:00

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

The Fair and Not Fair!!!

2009-10-30T18:52:00.001-05:00

I Love To Toot My Own Horn!!!

I Didn't Break It This Time!!!

I Love These Silly Worms!!!

We Feel The Need For Speed!!!

I Can Drive Helicopters!!!

Meet Astronaut Monkey Business!!!

I got to make my annual pilgrimage to the state fair! I had an absolute blast riding all the rides. My favoritest ride this year was riding in the helicopter way up in the sky! I can't wait until next year when even more ride possibilities open up for me. I think Daddy was kind of sad because I did get to ride a lot of rides this year without him. Sorry Daddy--growing up is my job!

The next day Mommy ditched me. She had to go on a jet for work for the whole week! Guess what else, she got to ride trains all week long!!! That was so not fair. Mommy did bring her computer with her so I could video call her and make sure that she was all right. I think Mommy also used the video deal so that she could check up on Daddy and me. I am pleased to report that Daddy did a great job of taking care of me..right up to the end where I got sick sick sick on Friday!! Doctor "Yum" told Daddy that I had swine flu. Mommy tried to get home a few hours earlier but that didn't work out very well courtesy of some idiot at American Airlines (no people not one of my favoritests Aunts--she did her part beautifully thank you very much). Anyway, Mommy ended up getting home after 1 a.m. and I was perfectly fine by then. I woke up and demanded my presents. Unfortunately, Mommy's suitcase flew American while Mommy flew United so Mommy didn't have all my presents because her suitcase was locked up at the airport. I did get my astronaut monkey, my Halloween costume (NASA flight suit) and a United Airplane. I got the rest of my presents the next day. Anyway, Mommy and Daddy took care of me all weekend and Monday too just in case I had the swine flu. Mommy suspected that I got sick from the flu shot I got on Wednesday and it is likely that is all it was because I didn't have any problems after my doctor visit Friday morning. Oh well, we are just glad that the doctor took the cautious stance and gave me Tamiflu rather than do nothing at all.

I did have to see Doctor "Yum" this past Thursday and she assures Mommy I was a very sick boy on Friday. Mommy thinks she didn't have to get so defensive because Mommy really wasn't trying to be critical. This time at least!!! Let's just hope when I really need Tamiflu that it does its job.

Thomas--Meet Me In St. Louis Redux!!!

2009-10-15T21:01:00.008-05:00

I Can't Wait To See Thomas Again!!!

Wow! Daddy and I Got To See Thomas Up Close!!
Oh Boy, The St. Louis Zoo!!!

Let Me On That Train Already!!!

Guess who got to go see Thomas the Tank Engine again?? That's right, your favoritest almost 4 year old---M.E.!!! I was so excited when Mommy and Daddy told me that I would be going to St. Louis to ride on Thomas again. I am a very lucky boy because I got to go see Thomas again just because Mommy and Daddy love me enough to take me to places that I love. I had a blast riding Thomas again and I got to get new Thomas books, a new hat and a new shirt. Oh yeah, I also got some new "Thomas" trains but that shouldn't be a big surprise!

After we finished our Day Out With Thomas, we went to the zoo where I got to ride even more trains. Much to Mommy and Daddy's pleasure, I actually wanted to see some animals too. I had a fabulous day. Mommy and Daddy had a fabulous day too----well, at least until I woke up from my nap. Mommy says that not only did I wake up on the wrong side of the bed, I woke up on the wrong side of the planet. Mommy is amazed on how one little person can cause a lot of chaos. Oh well, they love me for who I am...the good, the bad and the down right tyrannical.

Well that is my big news. Mommy tells me I get to go to the fair this weekend, I can't wait!!!

Pools, Sleep Overs and Sickness!!!

2009-09-20T22:16:00.008-05:00

Future Pool Boy!

Past, Present and Future Heart Breaker!!!

Thumbs Up For Fun!!!

It absolutely amazes me that my secretary is absolutely pitiful about updating my blog. I would fire her if she wasn't the one who holds the keys to cool toys, clothes, food, etc. I suppose I will keep her around---at least through the birthday and Christmas season.

Well a lot has gone on since my last update. Where to begin??? I had a blast using my new pool for as long as I could. It seems that since we got the pool built all it ever does is rain and never really got super hot. Maybe this winter I will have Daddy build an ice rink so maybe we will get the record summer highs that we haven't had!!! Oh well!! I did manage to get some pool parties in there. Speaking of pool parties! Guess what??? Baby Jacob came to one of my pool parties and I gave him my precious Baba!!! I looked at Mommy like she was absolutely crazy when she first suggested that I give Baby Jacob my baba. I told her no way!! Later that day though, I told Mommy that I needed to go in the house to get my baba for Baby Jacob! Mommy was so proud of me. Well, maybe not so proud that she was about to let me blindly do it. Mommy did explain to me that if I gave Baby Jacob my last baba that I could no longer have a baba and would have to use a big boy cup for my milk from then on and that there she wasn't going to buy me a replacement baba (like that is even possible--Hello!!). I told her "okay" and handed the baba over! Okay, so maybe I had Donor's remorse that evening and the days that followed! I am only 3 like I can fully appreciate the gravity of my actions! You know, Mommy and Daddy were less than sympathetic in my plight--they kept reminding me that I had the opportunity to opt out of the whole baba donation deal and that I had to live with my actions. C'est la vie--I have a new and improved big boy sports bottle for my milk now. Although, I have cut down on my consumption of milk nowadays, it just not the same without my precious baba. I must admit though---since I am now on grown boy status, I have taken to sneaking a sip of Mommy's coffee every now and then. What can I say--I love a good cup of Joe!!

Well enough of that drama! Guess who came to see me and guess who didn't??? Aunt Lili came to see me and Uncle F.O., Jesse and Joe didn't!!! Hurray for Aunt Lili and SHAME ON UNCLE F.O., JESSE AND JOEY!!! Aunt Lili brought me what she and I love most--new flip flops! Thanks Aunt Lili! I must admit though, Bella chewed on one of them because she was jealous.

Last weekend I got to go on my very first sleep over with Aunt Kay and Uncle Carl. I had an absolute blast! We went fishing, went to a museum, played putt put, flash light tag and choo choos! I have the best godparents ever!! I sure hope I get invited to sleep over again!!

I have been trying to get rid of a cold for the past two to three weeks. On Tuesday Mommy finally got tired of it and carried me off to the doctor. Sure enough, he decided it was time to put me on antibiotics. Guess what--that night I woke up in the middle of the night with a huge fever! That's what they get for carrying me into the doctor's office full of sick kids. On the bright side, I got to stay home from the Baby Penitentiary on Wednesday. Mommy and I watched Dora and Thomas all day long. I think Mommy was super happy to go to work on Thursday. She wished Daddy good luck and went merrily on her way. Daddy did a great job of taking care of me on Thursday. Unfortunately for him, Mommy was sick by the time she got home so he had to take care of the two of us! Mommy and Daddy split Friday up and again, I think Mommy and her aching head were happy to head off to work! Mommy assures me that I will be returning to the Baby Penitentiary tomorrow--where I belong.

Oh well, that's all for now!!

Pool Parties and Doctor Visits!!!

2009-08-05T19:09:00.007-05:00

Pool Side Seating!!

Uncle Carl and Zack---Deuces!!!

My big boy pool is officially done!!! Yay!!! I have been having a blast with my new big boy pool. Everyone has been coming over to take a dip in my new pool. I ought to charge admission---I could be rich!! Uncle Carl is a super diver! He was doing all kinds of flips, dives and cannon balls. He just cracked me up with his antics. I sure hope one day he will teach me all the fancy pool moves.

Aunt Patty and Uncle Dude came to babysit me last Friday night while Mommy and Daddy went on a date. I had my first official "My parents are gone--Let's Party" party while they were gone. Ryan was here and Jessica came over too (oh yeah and her "boyfriend") to swim in the pool. Guess what??? They got me to wear my life vest! Each played a vital role in getting me to wear the vest. Aunt Patty wouldn't let me go swimming with Uncle Dude unless I put the vest on, Dude wouldn't let me swim with him unless I zipped it and Ryan got me to strap the leg straps. Mommy and Daddy were most impressed upon learning that I actually cooperated in that area. Of course Aunt Patty and them were smart enough to take pictures as proof!

I got sick on Saturday. I was running a fever, my back hurt and my tummy hurt. Eventually I started wailing when going potty and told Mommy that I needed to go find Dr. Weed. That got me a trip to the ER. I am pretty sure that I would have ended up there solely for the wailing while pottying event would have earned me a trip since the doctor's office was closed and I was declaring that it hurt to go pee. Throwing in the Dr. Weed comment just cinched the deal. When we got there, I declared that I didn't want to be there because it wasn't Dr. Weed's office. Mommy lied to me because she said they would find him for me. Guess what? THEY DIDN"T!!! I can't believe Mommy lied. Well, they checked me over really well and declared me to be okay as far as the scary possibilities were concerned.

I had to stay home from the Baby Penitentiary on Monday and Tuesday because I was still feverish. Not to mention a follow up with my real doctor on Monday. Once again Mommy failed me, she did not secure an appointment with Dr. Weed. While we were waiting for the doctor to see me I kept telling Mommy I wanted Dr. Weed. Mommy said he was busy seeing other boys and I had to see the other doctor (who I like too). I was adamant about seeing Dr. Weed, so Mommy finally told me that I was free to go tell the nurses that I refuse to see anyone but Dr. Weed. I started to go tell the nurses but Mommy refused to go with me. We decided to wait until the doctor came in the exam room and I would just declare my wishes to her. Of course I chickened out! Oh well. Mommy did assure me that she did try to get the doctor of my wishes and will continue to do so in the future but sometimes I just have to take what I can get. Mommy also told me not to be too fixed on Dr. Weed because it sounds creepy.

I returned to the Baby Penitentiary today. Mommy said that since I was officially well enough to drive her crazy yesterday afternoon that I was well enough to drive the wardens crazy. Hmmm...I think she really released me because my fever was gone. After all, I was driving her nuts with the Wonder Pets and Train DVDs all weekend and she didn't banish me.

Well that is all for now. This weekend I get to go see Grandma, Aunt Terri, Uncle Tom, Jake and Brooke. I can't wait!!!

Yikes! Almost One Month Since My Last Post!!

2009-07-26T11:22:00.006-05:00

Well obviously my secretary is not too worried about getting a pink slip even though the job market is tanking and there are a zillion others out there who could perform her job in a timely manner! It has almost been one month since my last update and a lot has happened in the past month. Where shall I begin??

I had a bike accident!! I rode my bike down the big hill and crashed into the woods. I didn't think Mommy could move that fast! She almost caught up with me halfway down the hill but gravity took over and made me go really really fast! I was okay though and wanted to get right back on my bike. Mommy wouldn't let me though! Oh well, guess it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Mommy, Daddy and I went to visit Grandma a few weeks ago because she had a birthday! Mommy sent me to the store to buy a present for Grandma. I picked her out some chocolates. I got into trouble later because Mommy found the money in my pocket that I was suppose to use to pay for the chocolates. So what if I had Daddy pay for them??? Grandma would have wanted me to save my money!!!

My biggest news is that I got my very one big boy pool!!! I just love my new pool. There are all kinds of "safety first" rules that Mommy and Daddy have spelled out for me. I have been really busy trying to test the lines of those rules to see just how far I can push Mommy and Daddy. From what I can tell, I am not going to be able to push them very far. Even Bella has safety rules about the pool. Mommy and Daddy really seem to yell a lot when Bella and I play chase over by the pool! Aunt Patty, Jessica, Dude, Uncle Carl and Aunt Kay all came by to hang out and swim in my pool. I am going to have a blast with my new pool!

I got into trouble at school the other day because I smashed another inmate in the mouth. The Head Warden told Daddy that I am quite the little charmer because I tried to charm my way out of trouble. No one is sure why I smashed the other inmate in the mouth. My teacher Warden is taking the position that the other inmate had to have provoked me because I am usually a lover and not a fighter. Daddy lectured me while we were driving home about fighting at school. Mommy lectured me too. I may have been imagining things but I could almost swear that both of them were smiling when they were lecturing me. I certain that they don't want a weenie boy for a boy. In my defense, the other inmate started it--I just finished it!!

Well that is all for now!

Daddy Turns 50 and Buddy Buys Some Bling!!!

2009-06-30T20:18:00.007-05:00

Daddy turned the big 5-0 yesterday! Happy happy birthday Daddy!!! I got Daddy lots of cards and I got Daddy a super nice watch. He promises that he loves it! I hope he does. I wanted him to have something that he can look at for the next fifty years! Well, I must confess, I was actually so excited about his present that I gave it to him the night before his birthday. Mommy is making a mental note to not show me where Daddy's presents are until the day of!

I have some news of my own. Mommy's necklace broke on Sunday. The chain snapped in half for no apparent reasons (okay so Mommy may think I was a major contributor to its demise but I was no where in the vicinity of the necklace when it hit the floor). When I noticed Mommy's necklace was missing I asked what happened. She told me it was broke. I told Mommy sorry! Yesterday, Daddy and I were at the store getting his watch sized properly and I noticed all the pretty necklaces in the cabinet. I found the perfect one for Mommy and I told Daddy that I wanted to buy it for Mommy (okay, so maybe I didn't really want to use my own money). It was a really nice gold necklace with a cross pendant with diamond accents. Daddy took one look at the price and said "No Way!" I was relentless about the necklace and kept telling Daddy that Mommy had to have it. Daddy finally asked the sales lady if the necklace was on sale. She said it sure is with a big big discount. Guess what?? I got to get the necklace for Mommy. Daddy also got Mommy another necklace for her other pendant. I was so excited to give it to Mommy when we got home. Mommy was so happy about the necklace!!!! I told Mommy that I bought it for her because I love her. I kept telling her that over and over. I was so proud to see Mommy put on the necklace. After I finished declaring how much I love her, I told Mommy "Don't lose this one!" Mommy had to laugh because I am so clever. What can I say, I love Mommy and wanted her to have a nice necklace around her neck!

Poor Daddy though, it was his birthday and Mommy got a present. Also, I have a sneaking suspicion that she really isn't too interested in the necklace that Daddy got her or the pendant that she normally wears since I picked out such a good necklace and pendant. At least Daddy now understands the ordeal Mommy went through when we went Father's Day shopping and my insistence that Mommy purchase Daddy the exact same green shirt that he received the week before. I can be a very persistent and persuasive little fella!

I have been sick lately. Guess who took care of me this morning??? Dude took care of me this morning. He was on vacation so Mommy asked him to lord over me this morning. Dude did an excellent job of taking care of me! Mommy asked if Dude yelled, spanked or made me cry this morning. Of course he didn't!!! My Dude is the best! Thanks Dude!!

Dude Days of Summer!!!

2009-06-28T11:38:00.004-05:00

Dude Got Me To Sprout Wings!!!

I Can Swim!!!

Wow!!! It's been a busy couple of weeks for me. Now that I have attained "Almost Grown Man Status" I have been real busy doing all the things that guys my age do. I went to Dude's house on his birthday to deliver him a present! I think he loved his present! Then a few days later, I got to go back to Dude's house because he cooked us dinner on his brand spanking new birthday grill. The only disappointment was that Jessica was again flaunting the fact that she dumped me for an older guy and there was no lettuce for my hamburger!!! Dude next time make sure there is lettuce!!! I mean, "What's up with that?"

I made certain that Daddy had a wonderful Father's Day because he really deserved one. I got him a card and presents that I picked out over Mommy's objections. Guess what though??? Daddy loved all his presents especially since he knew that I had to argue with Mommy to get them!! I don't know why she tried to argue with me about them, he's my Daddy and I wanted to get him what I got him and she needs to just butt out when it comes to the gifts I want Daddy to have!!! I also got to go have Father's Day breakfast with Daddy, Dude and Grandpa Len!! What a way to celebrate Father's Day!

I got Daddy his birthday present this weekend. Daddy is turning the big 5-0 tomorrow. I am not sure how much 50 is but I think it is a lot! Good thing for Daddy that I am around because I will keep him young!!!

Guess what else?? My Joey returned!! He is going to stay with me this summer and work with Daddy! For the record, I am suppose to say that Joey Rules and Jesse Drools!!! However, I still love Jesse too!! Dude got me to wear the water wings that Mommy and Daddy have been fighting with me over. Mommy knew that Dude could convince me to wear them and he sure did. The only problem is Dude let go of me before I was super comfortable with the idea. Eventually I figured out that he had let go of me and I was floating around the pool all on my own! Not cool Dude!!! That's okay though because Mommy is pretty sure that it won't take me very long to figure out how much fun I can have with my new wings!!

Well that is all for now!!! I hope everyone has a fantastic week and a safe 4th of July!!!

Summer Fun!!!

2009-06-17T20:21:00.015-05:00

What A Jump!!!

I Want A Real Pool!!!

Mommy Plays Dirty!!!

Daddy worked really really hard and got my pool all set up for me! It was so hot today, when we got home from work and school we all went into the pool for a nice cool swim. I had a blast. I am quickly getting over my pool fears. Mommy says that I am a jumping and swimming fool, sort of an aquatic version of Forrest Gump!!!

Busy, Busy and More Busy!!!

2009-06-07T19:58:00.006-05:00

I have been a very busy boy lately!!! I chaperoned Mommy on a trip to Dallas last weekend. Mommy was kind enough to let me stretch my legs on restaurant playgrounds going there and coming back. We went to deliver Aunt Lili her birthday cards and present. Happy happy B-Day Aunt Lili!!! I was super excited to see Uncle F.O. I was sound asleep when we got there. Mommy woke me up so I could see Uncle F.O. because I kept saying I wanted to see him. I had a huge smile on my face when I saw him!! Anyway, I got to see Aunt Lili the birthday girl. I asked her how old she was but Mommy just said "old!" I also got to see a glimpse of Joey. Mommy and I liked to torment him in the morning to wake him up. Joey is busy making money at the car wash. We went there to get the car wash. I ran up to Joey when I saw him getting a drink of water. Do you know that he turned and started to walk away from me??? Eventually the dunderhead realized it was me and picked me up so I could get some water too!! He was kind enough to let me give him a kiss goodbye in front of all his buddies. That was his tip and he better appreciate it!!! I also got to hang out with Jesse. It turns out now that he thinks he's is a man, he has more time to hang out with us little people!

I got to go swimming in Aunt Lili's pool. They kept telling me to put my swim trunks back on but who wants to be confined??? I like letting it all hang out!!! However, I did agree to put my swim trunks on when company came over. I got to play with Connor. Let me tell you, he may be a little guy but he is a swimming fool!!! I have a lot of work to do to catch up to him. Speaking of Connor--Aunt Lili kept calling me Connor. That is so not cool!!!

This past Friday, Daddy and Mommy took me to get special pizza. I got to ride the fast car with Daddy!!! I loved the go karts until some dizzy brat smashed into us!! After we got special pizza, we went and got me a new movie at the big boy toy store. Yesterday and today were spent doing yard work. We are beautifying our backyard and getting it all ready for summer!!

Daddy and I got in trouble today. I got in trouble and Daddy put me in the corner. Daddy got in trouble because he didn't make sure that I didn't have any contraband items on me. I had a blast coloring the floors and walls while I was in the corner. When Mommy caught me, I told her that Jessica will have to clean it up. Mommy brought me the wipes and told me that I had to clean it all up. Can you believe that she stood over me while I wiped the floors and walls all clean??? Isn't there a law against this type of discipline?? And why didn't Daddy have to help clean up--he was just as guilty!!

Well that is all for now. Oh wait, no it is not. Daddy is busy contemplating why I always get up at the crack of dawn when he wakes up with me but I always sleep until 7:30 or 8:00 when Mommy gets up with me! The answer is simple---I want Mommy to get her rest!!!

Mind Games!!!

2009-05-28T18:16:00.004-05:00

Mommy, Daddy and I went to Dardanelle last Saturday to visit Grandma Dale. Mommy let me get donuts for the ride to Grandma's house. When she realized I had not dug into my donuts she told me I needed to start eating. I told Mommy that I had to wait until I got to Grandma's house so I could eat at the table. Mommy finally convinced me that I probably didn't need to wait to get to Grandma's house to eat because it would be a long car ride. I guess Mommy thinks that sometimes it is okay to act like you were raised in a barn by eating in the car!! I obeyed though and gobbled down three big donuts. Yummy. Guess what??? When we got to Grandma's house I took off all my clothes and hopped right into Grandma's pool! I couldn't wait to get there because I wanted to go swimming. I got to hang out in the pool while Daddy and Mommy fiddled with fixing Grandma's gazebo. I thought it looked good but Mommy was disappointed because the measurements were not perfect. Oh well!!

I cannot believe how my weekend ended! We had Dude, Aunt Patty, Ryan and Jessica over for a barbecue. Guess what?? Ryan and Jessica brought their boyfriends! Oh the mind games!! I like Ryan's boyfriend Keith a whole lot but Jessica's boyfriend is another story! It makes me sad that Jessica is cheating on me!!! I thought Jessica and I would be together FOREVER but there she was, cheating on me right in my face! I don't care that her boyfriend is named after my favoritest train ever---it's just not right that he has my girl!! If I were four I would have smashed him in the nose!!! I hope Jessica comes to her senses and realizes I am the only guy for her! Does she not know that she is causing a lot of psychological damage to me???

Mommy picked me up from school early on Wednesday. I should have known that Mommy waking me up with a million kisses at nap time wasn't a good sign. As we were walking out of the room Mommy noticed that the little predator that bit me was right under our feet. We contemplated thumping him on the head as we walked out but decided that really wouldn't be nice! When we passed Starbucks, I asked Mommy where we were going. She said "to that building over there!" I asked, "what building?" She pointed to the building and said "that one." I announced that I didn't want to go to that building because that was the doctor's building. Mommy said we had to go there because I needed more squirties (nose spray). I asked her if we were only getting squirties. She assured me that it was just for squirties. She even pinkie promised that it was just for squirties! Guess what? I was super cooperative with the nurse and doctors since we were just there for more squirties. Mommy was impressed that I was so cooperative. Mommy figured I would be though because it was the doctor that I really really like (not as much as Bella's doctor but close). Can you believe that the doctor also threw in a lecture about not pooping in my unders??? Mommy put her up to it! Shame on Mommy for embarrassing me like that!!! I promised the doctor that I would stop pooping in my unders. I told Mommy to stop talking to me when we got in the car. I can't believe that Mommy would let me get embarrassed like that. Naturally I broke my promise to the doctor! Oh well, she can sue me!

Mommy has finally resorted to taking my choo-choos away. She told me that for every pair of unders she has to clean I have to give her one of my choo-choos. That is below the belt and made me cry! I did tell Mommy before I fell asleep that I was sorry for pooping in my unders! Mommy thinks I am a smart little boy for getting out in front of the issue by offering up an unsolicited apology.

Guess what??? Today I had to handover two of my brand new choo-choos to Daddy for messing up my unders. Couldn't they just spank me??? Mommy says that pretty soon she is going to have lots of choo-choos and I won't have any at all. We will see! I plan on getting my choo-choos back. The lack of choo-choos may be the motivation I need because I have a feeling that Mommy really will take all my choo-choos and not give them back unless I offer up some sort of payment in poop!

Well that is all for now. Mommy and me are taking a road trip to Dallas tomorrow after we get home from work and school. Daddy gets to stay behind and clean up that mess of a backyard for us! We will miss him---NOT!!! Okay, well maybe just a little. I think I am going to be really busy hanging out with Joey and swimming in the pool to notice that I will only have one nagging parent around!!

That Punk Attacked Me!!!

2009-05-21T21:59:00.007-05:00

Guess what??? Some little punk attacked me at school!!! When Mommy picked me up today she saw that I had a Ouch Report waiting for her. The note said that I was bitten by some little punk (my words not the wardens). The Warden couldn't tell Mommy who bit me so I did the only thing that was acceptable...I ratted that little punk out for biting me. I think I had to push Mommy's eyes back into their sockets when she realized the little punk who bit me was the same punk who got kicked out of the penitentiary one year ago to be exact for the very same offense. He bit me and everyone else last year and had to go to a different penitentiary but they let him back into mine a little while ago. Mommy had a few words with the Assistant Warden about me being maliciously attacked by a known predator. I am the second boy he bit since he has been back. Daddy and Mommy are contemplating sending me to a new school (I wonder if they have room at Carter's new school) so that I won't get bit by Jaws anymore. Just so everyone knows, Mommy and Daddy are realists---they realize I am going to get bitten every now and then but they shouldn't be being handed out by the same offender, especially one that was kicked to the curb before for the same offense. How many other innocent victims will he attack??? For all of those who know my true ways----the Warden assured Mommy that the attack was unprovoked!!!

Mommy says that if someone bites me again I am allowed to "smash" them. I assured Mommy though that I don't smash people, cars or trains because it is not nice. That made Mommy happy to know that I truly am a good boy who doesn't think it is nice to "smash" other kids regardless of the reason. Mommy's smile didn't last long when she realized that eventually her sweet angel baby boy will eventually adopt a different opinion about smashing bullies!! However, I think she will enjoy me being a perfect angel while I am one. Now that I think of it, could she ever possibly think of me any other way???

Since I was being a stool pigeon today, I decided to rat Daddy out for refusing to buy me donuts this morning. I told Mommy that Daddy was mean and that we should call the po-lice for denying me donuts!! Funny how I thought of the po-lice in my conversation with Mommy about donuts!!! Anyway, I don't think Mommy thought the deprivation of donuts wasn't a serious enough of an offense to warrant involving the po-lice. This time at least!!!

Well that is all for now. Oh wait, no it is not!!! I have to give a shout out to My Jessica! She graduated from high school today (even if it was Bryant) with an honors tassel. She sure is setting a good example for me! Way to go Jessica!!!

Meet Me In Saint Louis!!! Again!!!

2009-05-18T19:49:00.004-05:00

Let's Get this Vacation Started!!!

I Can Fly!!!

I Can Drive FAST!!!

What A Way To End A Vacation!!!

(Dude--Send Presents!!!)

Mommy and Daddy took me to one of my favoritest places in the world this past weekend---St. Louis!! I was so excited about getting to go to St. Louis. I was talking about going to St. Louis all week at school. Finally Thursday came and off we went!! I am happy to report that Daddy got us to St. Louis safe and sound despite the fact that we think his Navigation lady had one too many fermented grape juice boxes if you catch my drift! We finally told her to shut it because she was way crazy! Mommy always wonders why they have female navigation people because she really doesn't think most people wouldn't take directions from a lady. I am not sure what Mommy meant by that because I know that Mommy can get anywhere!! Daddy is a believer too because he doubted her directions and Mommy had to scold him by saying "After a billion years of being married, you still don't trust my giving directions solely by the position of the sun, stars, moon, etc.???" Mommy then told Daddy that he couldn't find the St. Louis Arch if he were standing under it!!

Anyway, Daddy hooked us up with a really nice hotel right down town by the Arch and the ball park. There was all kinds of activities going on that I got to monitor. Daddy tried to get me to go on a carriage ride ("horse choo-choo") but I didn't want to have any part of that. I don't trust them horse choo-choos!!! This one horse and me had a thing for each other though. Mommy doesn't think it was as friendly as I remember it to be because when I first saw the horse it peed rivers of pee right there in the street. It cracked Mommy and me up. A little while later, we saw the very same horse on the very same corner. The carriage driver asked Mommy if I was traumatized from the last time. Mommy said "No" but just as she said it, the horse let out a giant poop right there in the street. Mommy, me and the carriage driver thought it was hysterical! His passengers didn't see the humor in it until he told them that the horse does his business every time he sees me. Mommy and I later saw the same horse at the hotel across the street, so I yelled "No pee or poop horsey!!!" Guess what, he didn't pee or poop that time. I was so proud of myself but Mommy thinks the horse didn't recognize me because I wasn't on the "potty corner."

We went to the Zoo on Friday and Saturday! I rode that choo choo everywhere. I finally relented and got off the train to look at some animals. I really like those penguins but those things sure can generate a stink!!! Mommy and Daddy also took me to a little carnival where I got to ride all kinds of rides. I threw a fit at the fair though because the roller coaster was broke! Fortunately, they fixed it before we left and and I got to ride it. I LOVE ROLLER COASTERS!!! They go fast!!!!

I ended up running a fever Saturday night. I woke up in the morning crying because my tummy hurt really really bad. I cried for hours because my tummy hurt. Mommy and Daddy took me to a "Doc in a Box" so I could get checked out before we drove home. The doctor told me that based on my symptoms and the pain in my tummy that I had to go to the emergency room. We sat for hours in the emergency room at the Children's Hospital. I don't know why they are rated number 5 in the country. It was an absolutely horrible experience! Can you believe that the poked me with needles??? Mommy assured the nurses that I would put up a huge fight. It took Daddy, two nurses and another nurse to fight me to get the IV in my arm all of this while I was wrapped up like a burrito. Next time they won't look at Mommy with that look like "We can handle it, we are professionals." I don't think the nurses were very happy with me!!! The fight wouldn't have gone on so long if they wouldn't have messed up my other arm to begin with. Okay, well maybe it would have! They took all kinds of blood from me and pumped liquids into me. They kept telling me I had to potty in a cup. I kept saying "No." The nurses told Mommy and Daddy that they needed me to pee or they would have to put a catheter in me. Mommy gave them a "whatever" look. Mommy told me I had to potty in the cup or they were going to be really mean to me. So I struck a deal with the devil. I asked the nurse if I could go home if I pottied in the cup. She said yes, so off I went to potty in the cup. Mommy told me afterwards that she wouldn't have let them mess with my willy despite their desire to get a urine sample. Mommy did add that if I was howling in pain, she would let them do it to get to the bottom of my troubles. The nurses got real sweet with me. Daddy noticed how nice they were being to us, Mommy insists its because they messed up somehow and they are afraid we will figure it out. Anyway, the doctor gave me the all clear and let me go home. They didn't figure out what was causing my tummy problems but all the major concerns were covered. I was more than happy to run out of there. I just wanted to go home so I could take a nap!

I did point out to Mommy that I needed to go to the Toys Store to get that Big Wow Wow Super Choo-Choo that I have been begging for for months. Mommy said since my day was so horrible and I went through so much, that we could get the choo-choo. I told her to go right then but she said the toy store was closed. I told her that the toy store was not closed. Mommy assured me that if we passed an open Toys 'R Us on a Sunday night anywhere between St. Louis and home we would stop. Guess what? There weren't any open Toys 'R Us'.

The topic hasn't come up yet but Daddy lost my blue blankey somewhere between Sikeston, Missouri and Osceola, Arkansas. Mommy keeps waiting for me to inquire about my blankey so she can let me know that Daddy lost my blankey!!! When I find out my blue blankey is still on vacation, I am going to make Daddy go get it!!! Daddy pointed out to Mommy that she left my precious "baba" at the hotel in St. Louis. Mommy replied that I didn't need it anyway. Is she crazy?? I need my precious baba just as much as I need my blue blankey. They are both going to be in BIG BIG trouble when I figure out what they did!

Well we got home safely, thanks Daddy!! I had to stay home from the Baby Penitentiary today because I still had a fever. Daddy took me to his office so I could see Aunt Kay and Uncle Carl and to get Bella. Bella stayed with Uncle Carl again. He is super nice for taking care of My Bella while I was out of town. It turns out that Bella was very bad at Uncle Carl's house. I am sorry that Bella was bad at Uncle Carl's. I hope Uncle Carl doesn't think that it was my fault that Bella was bad. I am sorry for the both of us! Mommy picked me up from the office so she could take care of me this afternoon. I reminded her that we needed to get the Big Wow Wow Choo-Choo. Guess what?? She let us stop at the toy store to get it! It almost makes up for a bad ending to my vacation!!! Okay, so maybe it makes up for it completely!!

Those crazy doctors called the house this afternoon. What did they do, sit up all night trying to come up with illnesses for me? They finally decided that since they couldn't find anything wrong with me yesterday that they could try to say that maybe that there is a one in a million chance that the tick bite I had could have caused my issues. What ever!! Let's see if they call tomorrow with a new theory!

By and large, I think Daddy and Mommy produced a wonderful weekend of fun for me! Well that is all for now!

Date Night!!!

2009-05-09T12:52:00.003-05:00

I took Mommy out on a very special date last night!! Just me and Mommy--no Daddy allowed!! When I got home from the Baby Penitentiary I gave Mommy the flowers I made her. She loved them!!!

We then got in the car so I could take her on our date. We went to Playtime Pizza!!! It was an absolute blast!!! I got to play all kinds of games, ride the bumper cars And go bowling!!! Mommy finally made me leave. To cap off our date we went to the toy store and got a big new train and a new diego game for the Wii! This was the best date ever!!

Well that is all for now! Happy Mother's Day to all the Mommies everywhere!!!!

TKO!!!

2009-05-05T18:51:00.003-05:00

Mommy hooked up my Baby Wii for me last week. I really missed playing my Baby Wii games. Fortunately for me, Mommy decided that she could no longer tolerate the graphics on my Baby Wii so she got me a Big Boy Wii!!! I even got to pick out my own game. I can't play all of the games on the game I picked but there are several that I can do all by myself and Mommy sets it up so it just cycles through the games I can play. My favoritest game though is boxing---I LOVE TO FIGHT!!!! Mommy made a Mii that looks just like me. I like to "SMASH" the other players. I knocked out three guys in a row!! I even made Mommy fight me but I think she let me win because she didn't like the idea of hitting my Wii Mii!! I keep asking to "fight" but Mommy is not letting me play on demand. If you ask me, she is trying to get me hooked on the Wii so she can take it away from me when I am naughty, which is why I like to "SMASH" Mommy. I even got a race car game with a steering wheel but I mainly just like to go in reverse and crash into things. My driving annoys Mommy and she is convinced that Daddy taught me to drive!!

I am pleased to report that Daddy hurt himself playing the Wii!! We will have to find less strenuous games for Daddy!

Bella is getting HUGE!!! She is already 27 inches tall at the withers and weighs 74 lbs. She is a giant and is just about as tall as I am. Guess what though??? Bella just adores me and she is super gentle with me!! She knows I am the BOSS!!! We are going to be the best of friends!

Well that is all for now. Oh yeah, Dude come visit me so I can SMASH you!!!

Man of the House!!!

2009-04-19T18:15:00.003-05:00

Daddy deserted us---well kind of! Daddy had to leave Thursday night because Grandma Dale had a big big boo-boo and needed to have surgery Friday morning. So Daddy did what any good son would do, ditched his wife, kid and dog and ran off to take care of Mommy! (I really don't mean to sound sarcastic---I really do understand the importance of taking care of Mommies) Since Daddy was gone, it was my responsibility to keep Mommy safe. One executive decision I made was to ship Bella off to Uncle Carl's house...well, maybe it was Daddy and Mommy's idea. Daddy was worried that having Bella and me would definitely put Mommy in an early grave--her allergies have her hacking like there is no tomorrow. Plus, Mommy has been having to work late and she wouldn't be able to pick Bella up from the doggy penitentiary before it closes, which would leave Bella in the slammer through the weekend.

Anyway, I did a real good job off taking care of Mommy and Sebastian and Rufus helped too. For my part, I hogged the whole bed Thursday night. Sebastian and Rufus both growled at something outside the window for a very long time---Mommy never did figure out what it was. I kept sleeping because I figured Sebastian and Rufus had it under control. Mommy took me to the Baby Penitentiary Friday morning---something she hasn't done in a very long time. All the prison guards were surprised to see Mommy since she has not taken me to school in FOREVER!! Anyway, Mommy got me a breakfast from Burger King to soften our parting at the Baby Penitentiary---apparently she still has vivid memories of the morning guilt trips I used to put on her. Mommy had forgotten what an ordeal it is to get me out the door and safely deposited in the Baby Penitentiary and is extremely grateful that Daddy has taken over this duty and even more grateful that despite all of my antics, he continues to maintain this duty!

Mommy and I had some Friday night fun. We even called Daddy over the computer so I could see his face! Guess who else's face I got to see??? I got to see Grandma, who was up and moving around, and Aunt Teri!! I talked to Daddy and Grandma over the computer but I was being rude and did not talk to Aunt Teri.

Saturday I escorted Mommy to Grandma's house so I could see in person that she was okay! Sure enough, Aunt Teri and Daddy did a good job taking care of Grandma and she seemed to be in good spirits. I think Mommy was worried that I was going to be a dufus and bump Grandma's shoulder. I may be three but I can tell when someone has a big big boo-boo. To make up for my rudeness, I was very chatty with Aunt Teri. Mommy and I stayed a few hours and then we drove back home so I could resume "Man of the House" duties.

I got to see Jessica today. I think she got done with her job a lot quicker than normal...maybe it had something to do with me not being under foot the whole time. Anyway, Daddy came home this afternoon and we are spending some quality time together. Bella will be home tomorrow and I can't wait!!!

Well that is all for now! Oh wait, no it is not...My BFF Carter is getting placed in a different Baby Penitentiary. I want to go to a new school with Carter but Mommy won't let me. Someone needs to tell Mommy that I have to go to a new school with Carter because he is my BFF. I realize I have my BFF Jeter but he ain't Carter!!

Little Mr. Smarty Pants!!!

2009-04-11T08:59:00.004-05:00

I have some extremely important news. I have been refusing to "poop" on the potty. So Mommy upped the ante and purchased a big boy choo-choo set, showed it to me, let me drool over it and then she put it away. After weeks of pleading, kicking and screaming I finally did what I was suppose to do and I received my big boy choo-choo!!! The best part is that it was entirely of my own volition! Yay me!

The euphoria over my accomplishment quickly ended the next day when I went back to my standard refusal. When Daddy fussed at me, I said to him rather smartly, "I already got my choo-choo!" Daddy told Mommy what I did and said and she asked Daddy if he took back the choo-choo! It occurred to Daddy that he didn't think about doing that. There in lies the problem--Mommy always has to meddle and plant ideas in Daddy's head as to ways to get even with me or to get the upper hand. I don't see anything wrong with me and Daddy's current emotional and intellectual IQ---me being happy and outsmarting my super smart Daddy but Mommy has to go and think up ways to lower my position. Mommy just needs to leave us boys alone!!!

In any event, I got to go to work Thursday rather than the Baby Penitentiary. Aunt Kay and Uncle Carl came up with a super great Easter Egg hunt for me. I got a zillion eggs with treats in them! I have the best godparents a boy could ever have!

I am becoming quite the conscientious "Mama's Boy." The other night, Daddy accidentally stepped on Mommy's hand causing her to yell (no everyone---not at Daddy, she knew it was an accident)! I started to cry hysterically and yell at Daddy for hurting Mommy's hand. Mommy and Daddy tried to explain it was an accident and that everything was okay. I would not stop having a fit until Daddy admitted that he did it on purpose, kiss Mommy's hand, say sorry and give Mommy a hug. I am always having to fuss at Daddy when he and Mommy are joking around and I perceive that Daddy isn't treating Mommy the way I think she should be treated. Doesn't Daddy get it, no one can hit my Mommy but me!!! (Just kidding---well mostly)

Well that is all for now. I hope the Easter Bunny brings every one a bunch of eggs. Hoppy Easter!!!

Oopsie Daisy!!!

2009-04-08T19:27:00.003-05:00

Tonight I made the biggest mistake a three year old can make---I actually responded to Mommy's directive by saying "Whatever!!" I was bright enough to realize my mistake and promptly stated "Oopsie Daisy!" You know that Mommy didn't think my banter was nearly as funny as Daddy did. I am very grateful that Daddy's antics deflected the attention from me and my shenanigans. I might think twice about responding "whatever" to Mommy ever again. Something tells me my luck will be a lot better throwing it out at Daddy than Mommy. Oh well, a boy has to test his boundaries!!!

Easter Egg Hunting--The Practice Session!!

2009-04-05T17:51:00.006-05:00

Bella ( 4 1/2 months) and Zachary (3 1/2 years)

Who Can Dig Fastest??

I had a great weekend!! Mommy and Daddy took me to a practice session of Easter Egg hunting by taking me to the Clinton library's annual Easter Egg hunt. Daddy got into trouble (as usual) because he told me we were going to find eggs and throw them at the Easter Bunny. Mommy was very upset with Daddy when I woke up Saturday morning and told Mommy we had to hurry up so we could go throw eggs at the Easter Bunny. Mommy quickly and sternly explained to me that we were not to throw anything at the Easter Bunny. Daddy got a good lecture about planting ideas into my impressionable little brain. Shame on him!!!

I was real excited to go to the great Easter Egg hunt. There were eggs everywhere!! I was only allowed to have six eggs so there would be enough eggs for all the other kids. I was more than happy to abide by the rules. Shame on all those scoundrels that took more than their share!! Their parents are pathetic!!! We waited in line to get our picture taken with the Easter Bunny but when it was finally our turn, I decided that the Easter Bunny was the creepiest thing I have ever seen and let it be known that I would throw an absolute FIT if anyone got the wise idea to place me on his lap. Mommy thought about it but decided that I was scaring all of the other kids so she didn't make me face my fear of the Easter Bunny. Whew!! Naturally, I got my choo-choo ride before we left. I just love riding the choo-choo!!

I finally got Mommy to replace the bubble lawn mower she ran over last year. I picked it up off the shelf at Wally Mart and gave Mommy a look that said "you owe me." Mommy told me that it was my fault that she ran over it because I didn't put it where it belonged and then said let that be a lesson to me. I think that should be a lesson for her!!! She also got me an airplane that flew all over the place. Daddy doesn't like it very much because he had to keep going up on the roof to fetch it! Maybe we will try it out when it is not as windy!!

Today, I got to have breakfast with Grandpa Len and Granny Bev. I finally had to give them hugs and kisses because the gave me something for my piggy bank! Thanks you two!! This afternoon Daddy and I went on a special mission. I have been begging for weeks to try out the playground at Burger King. Since I have been a real good boy, Daddy took me to try it out.

Well that was my weekend!

Aunt Patty Yelled At Me!!!

2009-04-02T18:22:00.006-05:00

Sorry folks, my secretary sure is lazy! Nothing really happened last month that was notable enough to get my secretary back on the job. Mainly just school, play, sleep, and repeat.

Guess what I got?? I got two "pink" choo-choos and some aquarium choo-choos!!! I really wanted a pink choo-choo. I had told Sommer on the phone that I wanted a pink choo-choo. She said okay but the next day I still didn't have my pink choo-choo. So I told Mommy that these two guys had taken my tree and my presents. I was real convincing. I also told Mommy that one of the presents that was taken was my pink choo-choo (the other was my BIG BIG pink bridge). Mommy was really impressed with my ability to fabricate a very detailed story. She questioned me about it over the next couple of days and I stuck to my story. I eventually identified the two guys as Uncle Fester and Dadddy. I don't think they appreciate my pink phase. In any event, Sommer and her Mommy got me the choo-choos. Thanks you two!!!! I love my pink choo-choos!!

I got to go on a sleep over last Saturday and Uncle Fester, Aunt Patty, Ryan, Jessica and Dexter's house because Mommy and Daddy went to a wedding. I had a blast over there chasing my buddy Dexter and playing video games--I got to play the drums!!! Aunt Patty hurt my feelings though. I was busy yelling at her and I wouldn't stop when she asked me to, so she told me that she could scream louder than me and was willing to do it if I didn't stop screaming. Guess what--she can scream louder than me!!! Guess I won't try the screaming tactic again with Aunt Patty!!! Dude was a bed hog and he snores--even louder than Aunt Patty can scream!

Bella had doggy lessons but if you ask me, the lessons aren't sticking! That's okay though because she is my digging buddy. We like trying to dig our way to China in the sand out back. I am not sure what we will do when we get there but I think we have time to decide what to do!

Well that is all for now!

Zachary 1: Two Nurses 0, Dr. Nolen 0, Mommy 0 and Spectator Nurse 0!!!

2009-03-02T20:29:00.005-06:00

In keeping with the pattern I have developed the past few months, I spent the last weekend of February with a high fever and found myself being transported to the doctor's office on the first Monday of the month. I tried to convince Mommy all weekend that I wasn't sick and that I needed to go to the choo-choo. Mommy tried to tell me that she decides when I am sick, not me. She also added that the thermometer does not lie and I was sick whether I own up to it or not.

Mommy was quite humored with the conversation in the car on the way there. She noticed a big change in my facial expression when I realized we were in the wrong lane as we passed Starbucks and Target. Seems the look of dread came upon my face. I asked Mommy where we were going and she had the nerve to tell me "somewhere." As she turned the corner I started crying and screaming "I can't go that way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Seems I have a good memory and sense of direction because the road she was turning on crossed the interstate and led straight to the doctor's office! Can you believe that Mommy dragged me in there kicking and screaming! Oh wait, so maybe it wasn't dragged...I am too lazy to be dragged, so she carried me!!

I must admit that I should have been more cooperative with the doctor because she remembered seeing me on the "yellow choo-choo" but I can't help myself. What ever progress I made with the doctors went out the window with my visit to Dr. Derek. It took Mommy, two nurses and a spectator nurse to hold me down so Dr. Nolen could pry my mouth open to get a good look at my throat. It took a while but Dr. Nolen finally was able to pry my teeth off of her tongue depressor and pry my mouth open to get a good peek at my throat. It took several other attempts for everyone to pin me down long enough to get a throat swab done. I think the spectator nurse was too afraid of me to jump into the mix. I have news for her, she should be!! Turns out I have strep throat...AGAIN! Also, Dr. Nolen assures Mommy that it is purely coincidental that I am having problems the same time of the month every month.

Anyway, Mommy had a talk with me about my doctor/dentist antics. She is trying to convince me that I am only making the situation worse by fighting the process. I don't think so!! Everyone just needs to stay out of my mouth and leave me alone!!

Californ-I-A Here I Come!!!

2009-02-25T19:08:00.010-06:00

Everything is A-OK with Zachary At the Controls!!!

I Picked Up This Chickee-Poo At Legoland!!!

Come Here Little Fishy!!!

Guess Who I Bumped Into At Legoland----Lizzybeth!!!

I Can Out Run the Ocean!!!

Daddy and Me At The Beach!!!

Guess where I went??? I went on a BIG BIG airplane all the way to California for a long long weekend!!!! Mommy and Daddy kept telling me I was going to go on airplane and they didn't lie!!! I got to go on a mini-vacation and Rufus and Pop-Pop had to stay home all by themselves! Bella had to go take care of Uncle Carl because unlike Rufus and Pop-Pop, Bella can't be trusted to not destroy the house. I hear that Bella had a blast with Uncle Carl. Thanks Uncle Carl!!

Well Bella may have had a blast with Uncle Carl, I had a bigger blast on my vacation! I got to go to see Grandma Lily and her husband. I showed Grandma just how big and sweet I am! I wasn't too sure about her husband but I didn't feel too bad because the Grandpa slots are already full!! He was nice to me though and he takes good care of Grandma Lily, so I guess he is okay!! I was exhausted after my busy day and I fell asleep within minutes of leaving Grandma's house and being strapped into my "bucket" in the car.

The next day Mommy and Daddy took me to Legoland! I had a blast riding the rides and playing in the water (Mommy wasn't too pleased that Daddy let me do the latter since I was crying about having wet shoes and socks). Guess who I saw at Legoland?? Lizzybeth!!! I spied her from 50 yards away and took off running into her arms. I hugged her and hugged her. Daddy didn't think I would remember her but Mommy knew I would! Mommy is pretty sure that I marked her with my scent and like a "dog", I never forget my own scent! It was super fantastic seeing Lizzybeth again. She needs to come to my house to see me again. She claims she will and I am going to hold her to that.

On Sunday we went to Sea World. I have to say that Sea World was horrible!! This whale spit on me, which really made me MAD!!! That whale can just stick a choo-choo up his blow hole for spitting on me. I should be mad at Mommy because I suspect that she knew it was going to happen and didn't do anything to stop it. I can't be mad at Mommy though---even if she did laugh!! Daddy and Mommy have decided that I am a thrill ride boy, not a sit and watch silly pet tricks type of boy so they will be very reluctant to waste money on mainly sitting theme parks in the future. That suits me just fine because I will always feel the need for speed!!

As promised, Mommy took me on a choo-choo while we were there. I think Daddy failed in his Daddy duties though because he moved over so what appeared to be a homeless guy could sit down next to us....now that was RUDE!!! Mommy was glad that I had enough sense to move! I threw a huge fit after we got off the train because I wanted to get on the BIG BIG train that was at the station next to the trolley but Mommy wouldn't let me. I am not sure I will ever recover from being told "No". Mommy did promise thought that the next time we go to California she will take me on the BIG BIG train that goes up the coast. I suspect she may have made that promise hoping that the next time we go I have cycled out of my choo-choo obsession.

We went home on Monday. This time Mommy let me sit in the airplane seat like a big boy rather than in my bucket! I did great on the way home seated like a big boy. I think Mommy only let me sit like that so: (a) they didn't have to lug my bucket through the airport and (b) so I would not have the reach to kick the seat of the person sitting in front of me. (Okay, so maybe I annoyed the guy in front of me the whole the way to California but he couldn't have been too annoyed because he never said anything---he didn't even give me a dirty look!)

Well that was my latest adventure!!!

Zachary 1: Ms. Stacy 0; Ms. Amanda 0; Bella 0 and Dr. Derek 0

2009-02-18T17:27:00.004-06:00

Happy late Valentine's Day everyone!!! I had a great Valentine's Day!!! I got all kinds of goodies from Mommy and Daddy. I also got to have TWO DATES on Valentine's Day. I got to hang out with my two bestest babes Ryan and Jessica!!! I wanted to go on Mommy and Daddy's date with them but they told me "No Way Jose!!" Just as well because I think having two beautiful girls as my dates on Valentine's Day beat hanging out with Mommy and Daddy!!

I got more presents from Aunt Kay and Uncle Carl on Sunday. They stopped by to trade Valentine's cards with me. I managed to get two bags full of goodies from them. They are the best godparents a boy could ever have! Thanks you two!!

I got a note sent home with me last week because I have been incorrigible at school!!! I have been being a really rowdy boy and not doing anything Ms. Stacy and Ms. Amanda ask me to do nor do I listen to either of them. Mommy says that I have to be a good boy and not hit people. However, Mommy doesn't feel too sorry for the baby Wardens for me not listening because I don't listen to her either.

Bella and I seem to be getting along better nowadays but ever now and then I have to lord over Bella with an iron fist. She can be extremely bossy and pushy and there is only room for one bossy and pushy tyrant in this house---ME!! I have mastered the art of grabbing her by the collar and dragging her to her "thinking box" when ever I think she has offended me, Rufus or Sebastian!

I had to go to the dentist today! I was not at all happy to see Dr. Derek. I think they remembered me too because they didn't even try to let me hang out in the room with the other poor smucks whose Mommies made them go to the dentist too. I am happy to report that I put up such a big fight that Dr. Derek was afraid to stick his fingers in my mouth this time and didn't even try to fluoridate me because he knew I would get him if he tried. I am even happier to report that I dented his metal mouth mirror and broke the glass!!!! I think everyone was amazed at my accomplishment because everyone came to see what I accomplished!! According to Dr. Derek that wasn't suppose to be possible. Dr. Derek is hoping that if they increase the frequency of my visits I will get use to him and let him have a real good look in my mouth. Mommy assures Dr. Derek that it isn't likely to happen soon. I think Dr. Derek thought Mommy was kidding until she told him that it was just a few weeks ago that I finally allowed my pediatrician to look in my mouth without having to go through the whole rodeo deal. I have news for Dr. Derek, if he thinks I am big and strong now--wait until next time when I will be even bigger and stronger!!!!

Well that is all for now!

Happy February!!!

2009-02-01T16:43:00.004-06:00

Bella at 12 Weeks Old!!!

(Check out her Donald Trump Comb Over!!!)

(P.S. Bella stays in violation of the "ear rule")

Okay, I really need to do something about my secretary. Seems the new year has not changed her ways. She needs to watch it because the way the economy is going, I may just fire my secretary!! Good help shouldn't be too hard to find nowadays.

What's new?? Guess what I got?? I got my very own I-Phone!!! Am I the coolest 3 year old or what??? Okay, so maybe I don't have actual phone service but I do have the phone with Wi-Fi for my You Tube viewing pleasure. I do wish to apologize for all those people I use to call on Mommy and Daddy's phones. Sorry, I couldn't help myself. I must admit though, my plan worked because it got me my very own I-Phone!! :)

Guess what else I got?? I got a ukelele and some cool checkered Vans all the way from Hawaii! Thanks Sommer. I love my "guitar" and my cool shoes!!

My puppy is a holy terror!! Bella is getting bigger and bigger every day. At her last doctor appointment she weighed 24 1/4 pounds and was 18 inches tall. That is a big change from when I got her a month ago (she doubled her weight and grew about six inches). The doctor said she wouldn't be surprised if Bella doubled her weight again over the next month. From the way she has been eating lately, I wouldn't be surprised either!! I have been learning to control Bella when she has been being bad. I am allowed to spank her with the newspaper but Mommy thinks I get power hungry so I am only allowed to spank Bella when Mommy says so and under supervision.

I was jealous that Bella got sick, so I got sick too. Apparently Rufus was jealous that Bella and me were sick, so he got sick too! Sebastian says we are all a bunch of goobers and he doesn't want any part of being sick! Anyway, I have been hanging out all weekend because I am sick. Hopefully I will get better soon. Dude came and played with me yesterday. I was excited to see Dude. He built me a cool house with my Lincoln Logs.

Well that is all the news I have. Oh yeah, I get to take a trip this month. Mommy and Daddy haven't told me where I am going but the insist that I will be extremely happy. We shall see.

Meet the Newest Vance---Take Two!!!

2009-01-04T21:37:00.004-06:00

Meet Bella the Newest Vance!!!

As promised, Mommy delivered a brand spanking new puppy to Daddy and Me on Friday!!! Her name is Bella!! She is 7 weeks old and is in perfect puppy health! The vet checked her over twice just to be sure because she heard what happened to me earlier in the week and she didn't want me to suffer two losses in one week. I just love Bella even though she is very, very LOUD!!! She isn't nearly as grown up as Zoe is but Daddy is working on getting her all doggy mannered up! Oh yeah, guess what??? Mommy finally told me what happend to Zoe. Do you know that I got Zoe as a present for Uncle Carl because he needed a very special friend and so did she?? I am such a nice boy!! At least that is the spin Mommy is putting on it. Something still doesn't smell right but at least it sounds better than Zoe missing her Mommy and having to go home. Anyway, back to my puppy----She is a Great Dane puppy and according to the Doggy Doctor, she is doing great and will be growing FAST!!! I picked out a new collar and some toys for her! We are going to be best friends just as soon as she learns that even puppy teeth hurt and to stop crying at night!

We all went to see Grandma yesterday. I always have a blast at Grandma's house! I must say, I missed her a whole lot and I think she missed me too!

It looks like I am starting the New Year off sick..No fun!!! I have been hot, hot and hot. I have a bad cough but Daddy and Mommy are giving me all the things I need to keep comfortable until this illness blows over. Thanks Mommy and Daddy! Oh yeah, and Rufus too. He has been busy staying cuddled up to me so I don't get lonely.

I Need Someone To Loan Me a Lie Detector!!!

2008-12-30T17:51:00.003-06:00

I think I have been lied to by Mommy. I also think that she wrangled Daddy into going along with the lie!! Mommy says that Zoe missed her Mommy very much and had to go home to her. Mommy and Daddy have been sneaking around since yesterday whispering about stuff, so I am not sure if they are being exactly forthcoming about Zoe. Mommy did say that she is going to get me a new puppy that will not want to leave me like Zoe did. Mommy says Daddy and I can have a new puppy anytime we want. Something tells me that they are both lying to me but for a very good reason otherwise Mommy wouldn't be so willing to get me a new puppy anytime soon. Anybody know what happened??? I suspect a lot of people know. The truth will eventually come out.

Commentary from my Secretary: Zoe was the perfect puppy...well almost...seems she has an inoperable hole in her heart. Rather than complicate her situation with a boisterous 3 year old and complicate a boisterous 3 year old's perspective on how happy go lucky life is, Uncle Carl has decided that he and Zoe can be best pals and look after each other for as long as possible.

'Twas Two Days After Christmas!!!

2008-12-28T12:52:00.004-06:00

Meet Zoe the Fiercest Dog In The World!!!

My Puppy--Zoe the Newest Vance!!!

Guess what??? Seems the Christmas spirit never ends. Yesterday I got to the toy store and pick out my own present from Aunt Lili, Uncle Frank, Jesse and Joey...I picked out a Polar Express Choo-Choo set. Despite Mommy's efforts to deter me from picking out yet another choo-choo set, I won because I told her that she had to let me get it because it was my money from Aunt Lili, Uncle Frank, Jesse and Joey and they would want me to have it. Thanks Aunt Lili, Uncle Frank, Jesse and Joey!!!!

Guess what else??? Daddy and me got a new puppy!!! Her name is Zoe and she is almost four months old. I just love my new puppy. Daddy and I had to promise to take care of and be nice to her. It is my job to give her treats when she is good. Daddy and Mommy have to do all the rest. In case you are wondering why she looks big---she's a Great Dane puppy. Daddy and me wanted a boxer puppy but Mommy said no. We settled on a Great Dane because they are super nice doggies to their families (people and kitty versions). We need nice around here!!!

Merry Christmas!!!

2008-12-25T20:02:00.003-06:00

Santa Strikes Again!!!

Merry Christmas everyone!!! I had a WONDERFUL Christmas!! I am happy to report that I was mostly a good boy in Church last night. Good thing Mommy has my games on her I-Phone!!! I only had a couple minor incidents; however, I didn't tell the lady behind us to stop singing even though I wanted to! I put my magic reindeer food outside last night to make sure that Santa and his reindeer could find my house again. After all, Ryan couldn't possibly be expected to help Santa out twice in one week.

I got all kinds of cool stuff for Christmas!!! As promised, Santa brought me some Thomas the Tank Engine Crocs (Santa always brings me new Crocs), a new tooth brush, candy, tracks and choo-choos!!! He brought me Thomas at Action Canyon and some new trains!!!! I was so excited! I also got more choo-choos from Mommy and Daddy, a giant remote controlled dinosaur (we call him Puff the Magic Dragon though), some puzzles, coloring books, Thomas jammys, and some clothes. I got Rheneas and the Roller Coaster train set from Grandma Dale, spending money from Granny Bev and Grandpa Len, and more spending money from Grandma Lily! Thanks Grandparents!!! Aunt Lili, Uncle Frank, Jesse and Joey hooked me up with Toys 'R Us bucks just in case Santa failed to bring me something. Dude, Aunt Patty, Austin, Ryan and Jessica got me some Thomas clothes---new hoodie---yay!!! I really made out with Aunt Terri, Uncle Tom, Jake and Brooke---they got me a Thomas the Train Washer (I have this thing for car washers), a Thomas bridge, Peter Sam the Train, and a remote control car. Uncle Carl and Aunt Kay got me my very own digital camera/camcorder and Lincoln Logs. (Mommy says they are going to be in big trouble if I use my camera inappropriately--I wasn't sure what she meant but I think they did!!). I got books from Uncle Jerry and Auntie Norma. Ms. Rita was nice enough to think of me and got me a new truck. I must say this has been a great Christmas and I was very, very lucky in that I got all sorts of great presents! I am also happy to report that Mommy didn't have to follow through on her threat----I opened all my presents, mostly by myself!!! I wonder if Mommy really would have let them all sit there under the tree until I opened them myself???

Santa was really good to Sebastian and Rufus too! They got all kinds of toys in their stockings. Mommy suspects that they got into their stockings in the middle of the night because their toys were all over the place this morning. The least they could have done was come wake me up to let me know Santa had already been there!!! Daddy must have been a very bad boy this year because Santa didn't leave him the puppy he wanted. Poor Daddy, better luck next year!!!

My other big news is that I finally got to sit at the Big Kids table with everyone else!!! I got to hang out and eat my Christmas dinner with Austin, Ryan and Jessica. Usually I get banished to the baby table but not this time!!!! I had fun yelling at all of them for trying to take my puzzle!!

Well that was my Christmas. I hope yours was as wonderful as mine!!

Santa Came To See Me!!!

2008-12-23T19:35:00.012-06:00

There He Is!!! Santa Is In MY HOUSE!!!

Thanks For My Present Santa!!!

Ryan, Santa and Me!!! I'm So Happy!!!

Guess who came to my house??? Santa Claus!!! He came all the way to my house so he could give me the first gift of Christmas!! I got a shiny new bell like the one in Polar Express and two new Choo-Choos!!! Santa said he was very proud of me for using the potty like a big boy! How did he know??? Mommy was right because Santa did see that I was doing everything that I am suppose to be doing! I better make a mental note of that!!

Anyway, I was shocked about Santa being at my house and I acted very shy. I was just so happy and amazed that he went through all the trouble to find me. Santa is pretty smart though because he couldn't find my house because it was raining (he is use to snow and fog), so he found Ryan and she helped him get to me. Thank goodness for Ryan the Whitenosed Reindeer because she was able to guide Santa's sleigh through the rain!

Santa says that he is coming to my house again tomorrow night when I am sleeping. I gave him my list so he knew what kind of toys I might like. Santa mentioned that he is pretty sure that I have been good enough to warrant more tracks and choo-choos! Oh boy, I can't wait. I will keep you all posted on what happens after Santa comes back when I am sleeping tomorrow night!

I Ought To Be In Pictures!!!

2008-12-17T17:25:00.008-06:00

It's My Party!!!

2008-12-11T18:20:00.005-06:00

My Very Own Thomas the Tank Engine Birthday Cake!!!

My Radio Control Super Bug!!!

Happiness Is Feeling the Wind!!!

I had the bestest 3rd Birthday Party EVER!!! I had my very own Thomas the Tank Engine 3rd birthday party! Grandma, Granny Bev, Uncle F.O., Aunt Lili, Joey, Dude, Aunt Patty, Ryan, Jessica, Sommer, Aunt Kay and Uncle Carl all came to my party and brought me presents. Grandpa was AWOL again because he was still sick. (I sent him some birthday cake so he could feel better)

Dude even picked out a new Thomas the Tank Engine Magic Coal Mine set just for me!!! He sure can shop when he puts his mind to it!! I got all kinds of GREAT presents! Thanks everyone!! I didn't get to play with my Super Bug (from Uncle F.O., Aunt Lili, Jesse and Joey) until the next day because the batteries had to charge. Joey taught me how to drive it and I just LOVE trashing the house by crashing into everything. Mommy has banished my driving in the house because she says I drive like Daddy. I don't think there is anything wrong with the way Daddy and I drive. Why is it I can ride my bicycle through the house but not drive my car???? Surely I could have loads of fun chasing Sebastian and Rufus with the car!!!

Anyway, I had a wonderful 3rd birthday and I am already looking forward to turning 4!! Thanks again everyone!! Next stop----Santa Claus!!!!!

Happy Birthday To Me!!!

2008-11-30T19:51:00.002-06:00

Today I turned the big THREE!!!! So Happy Happy Birthday to Me!!! I was singing "Happy Birthday To Me!!" all day yesterday and today. I got a visit from the Birthday Man!!! He brought me my very own big boy Thomas the Tank Engine Bicycle, a "Baby Wii", a game, a new Choo-Choo and a helmet!!! I was so excited to see my presents!!!

Guess what else??? I got to go to Toys 'R Us to pick out my very own present from Aunt Terri, Uncle Tom, Jake and Brooke!!!! I picked out a Diego Choo-Choo set. Thanks a bunch!!! I have trains everywhere! Aunt Norma came by with my present since she can't make my party. I got a Thomas the Tank Engine Shirt that makes noise. Uncle Jerry picked out a Hummer with a trailer for me!! It is the best. Thanks you two!!!

Mommy said that everyone else is going to bring me presents when they see me this weekend! I can't wait!!! Well, to tell you the truth---I will just be happy to see everyone!!!

Turkey Day and Goodbye Deuces!!!

2008-11-29T19:52:00.003-06:00

I had a great Thanksgiving!!! I told Mommy that I only wanted Grandma to come to my house for Thanksgiving. I didn't even want Mommy and Daddy to come over (or stay there)!!! Mommy explained that Grandma and me might get pretty hungry if I kicked her out since she was the one cooking! Grandma and me could have eaten because I helped make candied yams!!! Mommy said that Grandma would probably want more than candied yams, so I went ahead and let everyone come over. I got to see Granny Bev, Uncle David (he's Grandpa Jim's brother), Dude, Aunt Patty, Austin, Ryan, Jessica, Sarah and Jerry. Grandpa Len was sick so he couldn't come to dinner. I had so much fun I eventually passed out in the middle of the floor! Mommy was kind enough to scoop me up and put me in bed so I could take a nap. Thanks Mommy!!!

Today is my last day of being "deuces" because tomorrow I am going to be "tres". I spent my last day of being "deuces" sick. I even got dragged to the doctor because I was on day two of having a fever and Mommy didn't want me to start my threes off being sicker. Daddy and Dude put all my Christmas lights up and Mommy put my Christmas tree up. I have the coolest house on the block!!!

Well that's all for now...I will let you know how my birthday works out!! Goodbye twos and goodbye to you!!! (Ha! Ha! I rhymed!!)

P.S. We went to look at the proofs of my pictures. I am pretty darn good looking if you ask me!!! Mommy and Daddy had a hard time picking what they wanted. We will send out pictures when we get them back...whenever that may be!

Voter Intimidation!!!

2008-11-04T20:55:00.004-06:00

I have been very adamant to Mommy and Daddy that I am a man now and I should have my say. Apparently Mommy finally paid attention to the fact that I am all grown up. Mommy and I went to vote this evening because I always escort her to the polls. Mommy filled out one side of the ballot (constitutional issues because that is her forte) and I filled out the other side because I am a people person. I told Mommy which circles to color and she colored them!

I must admit that she didn't let me truly vote for the people I wanted to vote for and she tried to intimidate me and get me to change my mind about the circles I picked to be colored. I kept picking Green Party candidates to vote for and she insisted that if I was going to try to assert my authority as a man that I had to act like a man and not waste my vote on political distractions and stick with the "real" political parties. Can you believe that she tried several times to get me to change my votes after she insisted that I only pick between the two "real" parties??? I stood my ground though and made her color the circles that I wanted. She wasn't real happy with my choices but backed off of further intimidating me into changing my selections. Only Mommy and me know who I voted for....well okay, maybe the election official knows who I voted for by the Cheetos marks I left on the circles.

I just hope all of you went out there and voted for the right candidates. I will sleep better tonight knowing that I performed my civic duty by casting my ballot on Election Day...well okay, so technically it was Mommy's ballot but the election officials aren't as progressive as Mommy. Maybe next time we will get the voting age lowered so I can cast my very own ballot.

P.S. Shame on all of you who voted early (yeah, that means you Aunt Lili, Uncle Frank and Jesse). It is unamerican to cast early ballots. Next time stand in line and feel the excitement on ELECTION DAY either that or join the military and send in an absentee ballot.

Meet Me In Saint Louis!!!

2008-10-28T17:45:00.012-05:00

"Hang Loosey!!!"

Oh My Goodness--It's Thomas the Tank Engine!!!

The St. Louis Zoo Rocks!!!

Happiness is the St. Louis Zoo's Choo-Choo!!!

It's official---My Mommy and Daddy RULE!!! Guess what they planned for me??? The planned a whole weekend of super fantastic fun just for me!!! They put me in the car Friday night and told me I was going to have a super long car ride. I was so mad I wouldn't even let Daddy speak to me---for hours and hours!!! (Mommy eventually felt sorry for Daddy because I really wouldn't let him speak to me and would tell him "Don't talk me!" anytime he said anything.

Anyway, when we woke up Saturday we had a little bit of a car ride left and eventually we were at the St. Louis Zoo!!! I was so excited. They had a Choo-Choo that went all around the zoo and I could ride it around and around the zoo all I wanted to!!! It was great!!! There were three tunnels---one of them was super long and super dark. I held Mommy because she was scared. I don't really think that she was scared, I think she was cold and was just trying to use me to keep warm!! Mommy is always cold!!! Mommy and Daddy eventually dragged me out of the zoo kicking and screaming. I had an absolute fit but they didn't seem to care. Lucky for them, I fell fast asleep in the car.

They eventually woke me up and I was not at all happy about that. That is until is saw that we were at THOMAS THE TANK ENGINE!!!! Oh my goodness, I got to see Thomas the Tank Engine. Apparently Mommy had this planned because she went up to the gate and told them her name and they gave her three tickets to ride Thomas!!!! I had a fit because I thought Mommy was going to put me on the car that was farthest from Thomas. I don't know why ever doubted Mommy. She carried me off and put me in the first car where I could ride and see Thomas!!! That train ride was the best!!! I also got to ride the smaller choo-choo that was there but it paled in comparison to Thomas. I also got a new Thomas Tanker Choo-Choo Car, a shirt, a hat, sunglasses and my very own Thomas watch!!!

Mommy and Daddy let me go back to the zoo on Sunday before we headed home. I got to ride the choo-choo all over the zoo again. Mommy says the next time we go we are going to have to see some of the animals there rather than just the tigers (they were in front of one of the stations and I kept yelling at the tigers to stop fighting). Once again they dragged me out of the zoo kicking and screaming because I would still be riding the choo-choo around the zoo if they would have let me. I was so mad at Mommy for making me leave that I did not talk to her for an hour. I was so mad at her that I didn't even bother to tell her not to talk to me. Anytime she said anything to me I would just grunt and hold my head down with my bottom lip pushed out. I think she thought it was funny because she kept pestering me!!! Anyway, Mommy promises that we can go back to the St. Louis Zoo again, maybe when the weather is warmer. I have a feeling she wasn't just making an empty promise!!

Well that is my big news!!

Our State Fair Is A Great State Fair!!!

2008-10-12T21:29:00.011-05:00

This is the ride I wanted to ride but Mommy said "Heck No!!"

(I knew I should have asked Daddy!!)

Hands Up and Feel the Wind!!!

Aunt Kay and Me!!!

I am the Handsomest Pilot Ever!!!

Uncle Carl and Me!!!

Roller Coasters Rule!!!

I just had the bestest weekend of my young life!!! Mommy and Daddy kept telling me all night on Friday that I was going to have a very special day on Saturday. Mommy wasn't home when I woke up and later that morning Daddy took me to Ms. Tamara's to get my hair cut. I couldn't help but think to myself, "Are they nuts?? Do they really think getting a hair cut is going to make a special day???" Well, I guess it wasn't too bad because Mommy showed up there in time to supervise the cutting. And more importantly, she showed up with a new choo-choo for me. Anyway, after that we went home and took a nap. I was seriously disappointed with my "special" day because something was seriously lacking. Guess what though??? When I woke up Mommy asked me if I wanted to go to "the FAIR!!!" I was so excited!!!

It wasn't long after we got there that I discovered Uncle Carl and Aunt Kay. They came to have fun with me too!!! I was so excited by all of the choo-choos, slides, airplanes, helicopters and all the other things there were to see and ride on. I couldn't be bothered by eating but eventually the party pooper parents decided I must eat something. I think Aunt Kay and Uncle Carl were relieved to get a break too!!! I rode the little choo-choo a zillion times and by myself!!! Mommy and Daddy were really really sad when I told them I didn't need them to ride with me!! I would get on the ride and once it was done I would run out the exit and right back into the entrance gate again. Mommy got even sadder when she saw me trying to put the moves on all the little girls that would ride next to me. What can I say, I'm a chick magnet!!!

Anyway, the last time I rode the little choo-choo Mommy said something to the choo-choo lady. When the choo-choo lady got me off the ride I told her, "Thank you! Again!!!!" She told me the "choo-choo is broke." She looked real sad about telling me that it was broke. I understand though...after all, Uncle Carl was in the area and he likes breaking choo-choos!! I also suspect that the choo-choo lady was asked to tell me that!!! I am happy to report that I was mad and Mommy and Daddy for telling me it was time to go home. I yelled at them, "No!! In a minute!!" They made me go anyway!! I wouldn't talk to either of them for thirty minutes! I did negotiate another trip to the fair if I pooped on the potty!

Guess what??? I got to go to the fair again today!! Yep, that's right---again!!! Don't get too excited, I didn't actually poop on the potty. I tried to though. Besides, I had a clinger that luckily fell into the potty. I was so excited about it and Mommy and Daddy didn't have the heart to stick to the "actually do it on the potty clause." Once again, I had an absolute blast. I rode the roller coasters, the airplane, elephants, trains, went down the slide and the big airplane again!! Of course I rode the little choo-choo over and over again. I must admit though, I really love the roller coaster. I just love holding my hands up to feel the wind because it went fast! Mommy and Daddy are the best for taking me to the fair two days in a row!!! Anyway, I was a lot nicer to Mommy and Daddy when we were leaving tonight. I figured if they were nice enough to take me two days in a row I could at least show my gratitude by not making a scene!!!

Well that was my big adventure. It's back to the penitentiary tomorrow and I am going to BRAG!!!!

Run Zachary Run!!!

2008-10-09T21:45:00.003-05:00

Hello everyone!! Sorry, I am still having difficulties with my secretary. Some day I will manage to get her sorted out.

Daddy was sick all weekend so Mommy made special things up so we could get out of the house and away from disease carrying Daddy! Guess where I got to go??? I got to go to my favoritest place---the Zoo!! (So I have been three times in the last month, you want to make something of it?? I went with Aunt Kay and Uncle Carl on one of my trips. Uncle Carl broke the little choo-choo!!) Anyways, I love the Zoo!!! Mommy let me ride the Big Choo-Choo (carousel) two times back to back when we first got there. Then I wanted to go talk to the monkeys for a minute. Then I wanted to go on the Little Choo-Choo. After getting back in line for the third time in a row, the Train Man (okay, so it's really a Train Woman but she can pass for a man) said, "You must really like trains!!" Mommy said that she was saving me from myself and wouldn't let me go on a fourth time. We went to the potty and as we were coming out the Little Choo-Choo pulled out of the station. I ran so fast to try to catch the train. The Train Man and the other grown ups on the train were laughing at me. I really think they were just so surprised as to how fast a little guy like me can run. I nearly caught up with it when it started to cross the water but Mommy made me stop. It was okay though because Mommy said since it was obviously so important to me that there was no way should could deny me another ride. Guess what? I beat the train back to the station!! And yes, the Train Man was surprised that I beat her there and that I was even there waiting to board!! What can I say, I just love Choo-Choos.

Mommy took me to the big toy store after the Zoo so I could get some more Choo-Choos since I have been being really good and as a consolation prize since Daddy couldn't play with me because he was sick. I managed to talk her into a new Backyardigans book. Something tells me though that she only let me think I got my way by getting the book too. I have a feeling that a book will never be said no to.

I managed to talk Daddy into a new Thomas phone the other day. I was playing with one at school and got mad when Daddy made me leave it there. We had to go to Wally Mart to get some milk. While we were there I told Daddy to "come on" and I led him to the toy isle and right to the Thomas phone and told him to "buy it". Can you believe that he actually bought it? Mommy was even surprised that I pulled that one off. Daddy told Mommy that he couldn't say no because I led him straight to the toy isle and right to the phone without any direction or encouragement from him. Heck, he didn't even offer to buy me a toy. Anyway, Daddy felt that since I obviously discussed the phone and the exact whereabouts of the phone with the other inmates at school that day, he was obligated to purchase it for me so I wouldn't look like a punk to the other inmates. Ha!!

Rumor has it that Mommy and Daddy have a big week end in store for me....we will see!! That's all for now!

Mommy and Buddy Play Hookey!!!

2008-09-18T21:56:00.003-05:00

Daddy's Driving So I Insisted On My Crash Helmet!!!

Mommy took a day off work Wednesday. My radar was in proper working order so when I woke up I announced to Mommy that "I sick!" I told her I was sick so I could hang out with her instead of going to the Baby Penitentiary. Apparently Mommy really is smarter than me because she said, "Okay, if you are sick then you have to stay in bed all day and cannot play with toys." She then said "If you are sick then you can't go to the zoo with Mommy." I was so I excited I jumped up and told her to "drink coffee, we go to the zoo!" Apparently, she saw right through my lie about being sick!! Something tells me the whole zoo deal was a prearranged thought by Mommy because she was playing "legal hookey." Which means, I got a furlough by default!!

We had an absolute blast playing hookey! First I got to go around and see all the grown ups at Mommy's old job because Ms. Tria wanted to see me. I got to talk to Mr. Brad and yell about all the buses that were driving by the office building. (If you ask me, Mommy's newest office isn't very good because she doesn't get to see all the different buses and firetrucks drive by!) We then went to the zoo where I got to ride the "Big Choo-Choo" and "Little Choo-Choo" and I got to see all the animals. The crazy snake guy shoved a snake towards Mommy and me. Neither of us thought it was very funny!!

After the zoo I got to go have lunch with Daddy, Aunt Kay and Uncle Carl. As an added bonus, I got to see Ryan and I gave her a great big hug!! Mommy abandoned me at Daddy's office for a couple of minutes so she could run over to the mall and get me some new shoes. I got new shoes that have "Po-lice" lights on them!!! Daddy drove me home because Mommy had one other trick up her sleeve. When I woke up from my nap she had me help her get a bag out of her car. I didn't want to get the bag out so she got it out for me. Then she had me peek in the bag and guess what!! It was a new helicopter!!!! Mommy really made a special day out of the day just for me!!!

Well that was my most recent excitement!! My Joey--come see me!

Bad Boys, Bad Boys What Are You Going To Do When They Come Looking For You!!!

2008-09-11T20:07:00.004-05:00

Okay, it has been exactly one month since my pitiful secretary has updated the blog---talk about under worked and overpaid!!! Oh wait, i don't pay her--I guess I am getting what I pay for!! I have fully transitioned into my new classroom. I still prefer Ms. "China" in the big baby room but I am thinking I can get use to Ms. Amber--eventually! I do have to lodge a formal complaint though because some THIEF stole my "New York City Jail" shirt from my bag at the Baby Penitentiary. Mommy was MAD and so am I!!! I think it was Jeremy's nasty Mommy but I just can't prove it! (Yeah I blame Jeremy for EVERYTHING even though Mommy tells me not to) Anyway, I better not catch that twit wearing my shirt anywhere--Mommy worked really hard to find me that shirt in NYC and I want it back!

What else have I been up to?? Hmmmm.....Nothing!! Oh wait, I did managed to get Mommy sick, Daddy sick, Ryan sick and Ca sick. Mommy and Daddy think it was really Ryan that started it all but everyone wants to blame innocent old me. Aunt Lili came to visit me!! She came on an airplane just to hang out with me for the evening!! She even brought me a present--new Vans!! Joey was suppose to come to see me but he was busy. Can you believe that Joey was too busy to come see me???? Uncle F.O. was busy too but I forgive him because he promised to come to my birthday...he promised and he wouldn't lie to me. I was sad to see Aunt Lili leave me especially since she got to fly on an airplane and I didn't.

Daddy and me got into trouble today. I always help Daddy set the alarm before we leave. I really helped him today!! We left for the Baby Penitentiary around 7. Well around 7:30 Mommy's cellphone rang--it was the alarm company following up to make sure everything was okay because they sent the Police to the house because the "hostage alarm" was triggered. Ha!!! Mommy kept trying to call Daddy but couldn't get a hold of him. It occured to her that she could call the school to see if I safely arrived--of course I did! Mommy worried a whole lot less after hearing that I was safely deposited at the Baby Penitentiary. (I am pretty sure she would have only left work if I wasn't at school---poor Daddy!!) Anyway, Mommy eventually found Daddy--who returned home to get his cell phone. Poor Daddy had to call the Sheriff to tell them not to come but the Sheriff had already came and went. Daddy reported that the Sheriff checked the doors and windows and peeked into the house from the windows and decided that everything was probably okay. Mommy worries about that because someone could have been hacking us to pieces upstairs!! I am really disappointed that I didn't get to see the policeman at the house---that would have been super cool!!! Mommy thinks its probably a good thing because she suspects that I eventually would have figured out that if I push the right buttons I can get to check out police cars and eventually summons my favoritest--the fire truck!!! Also, I need some help--Mommy is threatening to bill me if the Sheriff charges us for having to come out here for nothing.

Well that is all for now!!

The Backyardigans Live!!!

2008-08-11T20:08:00.004-05:00

I have had an absolutely fabulous couple of weeks!!! First of all, Mommy reports that I am doing an excellent job of wearing underwear!! I am going to move up to the big boy room next week. Mommy was really worried about the prospect of me moving up with the "hardened criminals" but I have managed to prove that I am quite capable in big boy underwear (minus a serious kink that we are working on) and the Head Warden reports that the more serious hardened criminals are getting sent to different cell blocks, so Mommy feels better about letting me go. All I will have to figure out (other than straightening out the serious kink) is how to handle the girlfriend situation. My bestest girl Oakley (yeah, Mommy worries about my taste in girls) is already in the hardened criminal room and my other bestest girl Emma is also moving up with me. Eventually they are going to figure out that I have to have all my girls. What can I say, I am not ready to go steady!!!

Guess where I got to go last week??? I got to go see Backyardigans Live with Aunt Kay and Uncle Carl!!! I had an absolute blast. I have the bestest godparents ever!!!!!!!!!! Guess what else?? They got me some goodies while we were there. I got two shields, a wand, a shirt, some silly straws and some hats for Mommy and Daddy. Mommy told Daddy that she wasn't allowed to go with us to see the Backyardigans but Aunt Kay offered to let Daddy sneak over with us. Daddy said "no" because he was certain he would get caught by Mommy. Mommy says that I have to have to make special memories with Aunt Kay and Uncle Carl. Well all I can say is that is one more special memory with Aunt Kay and Uncle Carl on top of a zillion others!!! Thanks again Aunt Kay and Uncle Carl!!

Mommy and Daddy took me to the zoo this past weekend. I got to ride the "Big Choo Choo" (Carousel) and the little Choo Choo. Mommy even let me go "pee pee" on a tree!! All I can say is she didn't have much of a choice. Before Mommy and Daddy could even react, there was "Willy" in all his glory ready to find a nice tree to water. Mommy wasn't too pleased but what could she expect, after all, she let me water the bushes at the doctor's office because I wouldn't use the potty in the office!! I am happy to report that Kohl's is our favorite store because they have buddy-sized potties!!

Well that is all for now!!

Oh yeah, Aunt Lili---I need My Joey!!!

Abandoned!!! Well Sort Of!!!

2008-07-23T18:36:00.002-05:00

Somebody call SCAN!!! Can you believe that Mommy and Daddy ditched me for three days??? They went to New York and didn't take me. They abandoned me at school!! If it weren't for Aunt Patty rescuing me on Friday I probably would have spent the whole weekend there!!! Okay, so maybe it was a planned trip because Aunt Patty had all my stuff waiting for me at her house plus Mommy's car!

I had a blast at Aunt Patty's house except for the time that Uncle Fester was mean to me. Can you believe that Uncle Fester actually made me sweep up the dirt I threw on the patio?? What kind of Uncle makes a kid do that? Then that doggy Dexter ate my cow's ear! I had a great time at Aunt Patty and Uncle Festers! I got to see My Jessica and Ry-Na!! Uncle Fester also let me eat two dozen donut holes all by myself and at one setting! I had so much fun being abandoned I wouldn't mind doing that again sometime. Only problem with that is, I don't think Mommy and Daddy would do that again because rumor has it they missed me a WHOLE LOT!!!

I gave Aunt Patty the "look" when she abandoned me at the Baby Penitentiary on Monday. Guess she won't volunteer for Buddy Duty if it involves dropping me off at school! Mommy and Daddy picked me up from the Baby Penitentiary on Monday. I got lots of presents from Mommy and Daddy. I got a new NY Yankees hat (eat your heart out Jeter), three shirts (on of which is a New York City Jail Shirt--Mommy says I need to get use to prison orange), a NY City Bus, and a PO-lice car!!!

Oh yeah, I almost forgot. Mommy asked the Warden if I walked around calling Jeremy a "punk" because I say it at home all the time. The Warden said "No but Jeremy is a punk!" Mommy laughed when the teacher said that because he is a little bully. The Warden was happy to report that I am the only one that stands up to him. Mommy and Daddy were proud because they don't want me cowering to bullies! However, she does want me to play nice with Jeremy because it is not his fault.

Well that is all for now! By the way, I am loving my big boy pool--Mommy even lets me jump from the ladder!!!

I Did It!!!

2008-07-12T21:18:00.003-05:00

All Grown Up!!! (Well Almost)

2008-06-24T19:16:00.003-05:00

Mommy took me to the doctor yesterday because "my nose hurt" and according to Mommy my breathe was bad, which of course according to Mommy meant I have a sinus infection (okay she was right but that is besides the point). Anyway, I screamed "No, No, No" when the nurse called my name to come to the back. Mommy was mean and carried me back there kicking and screaming. I figured fighting was useless and quickly gave up the fight! Can you believe that I let them weigh me without screaming and hollering! I stood there all by myself like a big boy!!! Hooray for me!! Then when the doctor came in the room I let him look at my "Ickies" (ears), look at my throat and listen to my lungs---all without screaming!! Mommy about fell over! She told me she was going to buy me a toy for being so good. The doctor even said I needed a toy for being so good! Mommy had to buy me one because it was prescribed!!! I am such a big boy now!
Daddy was being mean when we picked up my medicine because I wanted two toys. Daddy said "No!" Mommy said that I had two ears so I got to get two toys. Daddy said that I can't have two toys simply because I wanted them. He also pointed out I got a new train the day before. Mommy said I could get two toys simply because I can! I forgot about the other toy so I only ended up with one. The way I see it is that I got cheated and Daddy owes me that other train! I happen to be well connected in the collection business so he better cough up that train!

Another Year, Another Trip to the Keys!!!

2008-06-15T18:20:00.005-05:00

Daddy and Me Back at the Southernmost

Point in the Continental United States!!!

Jesse and Me burying Joey at the Beach!!!

Joey and Me checking out the view!!!

Just look at that view!!!

I am just too handsome!!!

What can I say?? Those dolphins crack me up!!!

Mommy, Daddy and Me went on our annual pilgrimage to the Keys. Only this time we had a weekend lay over in Dallas so we could watch Jesse graduate from high school and go to his party! Can you believe it, Jesse is a full-fledged man now--he be educated!!! I am proud of Jesse for working hard to get his diploma. Anyway, Mommy decided that I probably shouldn't be in Dallas too long because I was trying to run with the big boys. I got to hang out with My Joey and Jesse at their house. Can you believe it, they even let me hang out with them when their big friends were there. Mommy wasn't sure that I should be hanging out at the big boys table but she let me do it anyway because Joey and Jesse had my back!!

Uncle Fester, Lizzybeth and Ryan were there too! I took care of Lizzybeth and Ryan while everyone went to Jesse's graduation. I have to admit I did a good job of it too! Lizzybeth ditched me and went back to California. She's mean for leaving me like that!!!

In addition to playing with the big boys, I got to play with Connor again. Mommy was real proud of me for sharing the hose with Connor but I didn't like it because Connor wouldn't share with me. His Daddy made sure he shared though. After a while Connor and I decided to dump glasses of water on each other. It didn't take us long to realize we could sneak up on the big boys and pour cold water on them!! They didn't even beat us up for pouring water on them. I wasn't too happy when someone squirted me in the face with water but I took it like a man in the end!!! No tears if you want to run with the big dogs.

We all went to the Keys the following Monday. I got to take My Joey, Jesse, Aunt Lili and Uncle F.O. on vacation with me. As you can tell from the pictures I have two of the bestest cousins in the world because they hanged out with me and played with me. Aunt Lili finally discovered the secret to getting me to give her a kiss...took her long enough!!!

Guess what else happened on vacation??? We were in Key West when Mommy took off with me and took me by the aquarium. While we were standing there looking across the square she kept asking me, "Who's that?" I kept looking and looking and finally I realized it was Uncle Carl and Aunt Kay! I hollered because I was so excited!!! Mommy let me take off running across the square so I could jump into Uncle Carl's arms! Everyone was laughing because they didn't think I could run so fast!! Boy oh boy, what a surprise that was!!!

I had a good time in the Keys. Mommy took me on a special trip to the Theater by the Sea. It was just the two of us!! We got to see a seal do tricks, birds, fish and more fish. I have to admit I almost stole a frog from the gift shop. Mommy didn't see me pick it up but the clerk did. I didn't mean to almost steal, I was certain Mommy would buy it for me, I simply forgot to mention that I had it. Everything worked out in the end though because I gave it to the clerk and Mommy bought it for me---just like I knew she would!

Daddy was sad that he didn't get to go with us (not our fault he went on a fishing trip) so we took him to the Dolphin Research Center so we could see the dolphins. Aunt Kay went with us---oh wait, she took us! Thanks Aunt Kay!

I have to report that I was almost a good boy on the plane rides. I think the people sitting in front of me were bothered by my little feeties kicking the back of the chair for hundreds of miles. Oh well, the will eventually get over it!!

Well, that was my vacation. I hope My Joey and Jesse come see me soon. They can bring their parents if they want to.

Working Man!!!

2008-05-29T21:30:00.007-05:00

I Got The Keys--Let's Go Already!!!

Come On Daddy--There Are Child Labor Laws You Know!!!

Finally---Quitting Time!!!

(Pictures Courtesty of Uncle Carl Bob Studios!!!)

Buddy Boards A Boat!!!

2008-05-27T21:49:00.002-05:00

Ahoy Mateys!!! I went to Grandma's house over the weekend and guess what I did??? I went on my very first boat ride!! Sandy and Larry came to see us on their boat and they let me go for a ride!! They even had a buddy-sized life jacket for me to wear!! At first I wouldn't let Daddy put the life jacket on me. I let Mommy put it on me because I knew that she would put it on right. Guess what??? She said I was the handsomest boy in a life jacket and it made me look like I had super hero muscles!!! She said that she could prove it to everyone but she was a dunderhead and failed to bring a camera to take pictures of my very first boat ride. Everyone can blame her!

Mommy is mean. She has banned Daddy and me from getting donuts. Daddy and I went to get donuts Sunday morning. We got some extra gooey donuts. I was eating one in Grandma's living room when I decided there was something interesting that I needed to investigate, so I took my donut and stuck it on the window while I tinkered with the toy. Unfortunately Grandma turned the corner right after I did it. Even more tragically, Mommy arrived on the scene not too long behind her. It seemed like the thing to do at the time. Would they rather have me set the donut on the carpet or couch?? At least the window was clean!!! Anyway, Mommy told Daddy that he should have known better than to give me donuts that have more goo than Krispy Kreme. I think Mommy fails to realize that we men like GOO!!! Daddy asked Mommy what else am I suppose to eat for breakfast. Mommy responded, cold cereal like every other child in America. Guess what?? Today at the Baby Penitentiary they started cereal eating lessons for all of the inmates in my class! Now someone explain this to me, can that really truly be a cosmic coincidence?? Mommy laughed when Daddy told her that they were teaching all of us to eat cereal for breakfast!! (Fear not though---Mommy says I can have a guy breakfast on Saturdays but I have to eat a proper hot breakfast on Sundays).

Well that is all for now!! Oh yeah, Joey---I want a turkey on white, american cheese, lettuce, tomato, and mayo--hold the onions!!

Potty Progress!!!

2008-05-15T21:46:00.007-05:00

Can You Believe That the Head Warden Put a Picture Up of

Me Getting Bit By This Vicious Puppy??? What Was She Thinking!!!

Good help sure is hard to find!!! My Secretary is getting extremely lazy lately. Anyway, I have been a busy boy learning to go "Pee-Pee on the Potty." I wasn't doing so well with it when I first started and acted a little stubborn about it. Seems I didn't care if I had an accident in my big boy underwear. Mommy fixed that problem though because she banned me from my big boy underwear. I am on the fast track to proving to Mommy that I can be trusted with big boy underwear and tell her all the time when I need to go potty. Well most of the time anyway!! She assures me that I am going to get my underwear back real soon.

We went to spend the night at Grandma's last weekend because I had to give her some a card and some presents. I gave Mommy some cards and presents too. They both loved their cards and presents. Speaking of presents!!! I want to say thank you to Uncle F.O., Aunt Lili, Jesse, Joey, Uncle Tom, Aunt Terri, Jake and Brooke because I finally spent my Toys 'R Us money that I have been saving for something special only it took me a long time to figure out what really special present I needed to get for me. I got me my very own Thomas the Tank Engine "Choo Choo" Train table for all my Thomas trains (okay so Mommy kicked in some too)! I just love my big boy train table! I think Jessica is grateful for the table too because Mommy kicked out a lot of my toys to make room for my table which means there is less for Jessica to have to pick up and put away for me!

Guess who I saw the other night?? Daddy, Mommy and me had to drop something off in their old neighborhood and as we were driving by we saw Jackson and his Mommy in their front yard. We stopped to say hi to them. I didn't want anything to do with them!! Mommy had to smile though because as we were leaving Mommy told me to say bye bye to them and I ran over to Jackson and gave him a big hug (he hugged me too). I still didn't want to have anything to do with anyone else! Mommy and Daddy were really glad that I got to see Jackson. I even let Jackson see my new Fog Horn cars that I got at the toy store. He likes Thomas too!

We went to the Greek Food Fest on Saturday. I got to try some Greek Food. Mommy was surprised that I actually tried some of the food. I think I even surprised myself. I learned my lesson though because I tried some of Daddy's food and he gave me something that was YUCKY!!! I wanted to spit it out but I didn't because Mommy gave me the look (she normally is the one who's hand I spit things in and this stuff was a little slimer than she cared to have to handle). I got a Zebra puppet there. I wanted to get a pink puppy dog but Mommy convinced me that a Z-Man needed a Zebra. I can see the logic in that!!

Well that's my big news. I get to go on vacation next month so Mommy is planning on putting me through pool therapy soon. She is hoping that I don't repeat my antics of last year.

Happiness Is Going To Buddy Friendly Places!!!

2008-04-21T21:12:00.008-05:00

Please Don't Make Me Ride the Choo-Choo Train!!

Super Slide!! That's More Like It!!

Okay, Maybe I Don't Look As Silly As the Guy

With The Pablo Backpack!!!

Monkeying Around At the Zoo!!!

I was one busy boy this weekend. Mommy thought we should properly welcome springtime by having a fun filled weekend!! On Saturday Mommy and me went shopping to buy me some shorts and shirts so I won't sweat like a little piggy on warm days. We even bumped into Warden Kelly and her son while we were out shopping. Mommy was going to get me a new pair of Shoxx but I got bored with shopping so the trip to the shoe store ended with her carrying me out like a football!! Who needs new shoes anyway?? Besides, why can't see be like most Mommies and just turn up with new shoes!!!

Fortunately Mommy didn't think I was so naughty that my afternoon field trip was cancelled. Guess where we went??? Daddy, Mommy and Me went to FUNLAND!!! They had little rides for me and I got to go on the Super Slides in the Park!! I wasn't too big on the rides but Mommy made Daddy take me on some of the rides because I had so much fun on the rides at the State Fair. Mommy said if I didn't ride she was going to take the money out of my piggy bank to cover my tickets. What's a boy!!! Anyway, I didn't even want to ride the Choo-Choo Train!!! I rode it twice. The first time the train broke down and we had to get off. The second time the Train Man didn't think it was very cute when I said, "Train Man---Train broke!" Where's his sense of humor? Anyway, I talked all about my train ride and the train man after that. Okay, so maybe Mommy was right! I have to admit, I had a blast!!

On Sunday I got to go to the Zoo!!! Mommy decided that my running off and trying to hide in public places isn't as hilarious as I think it is so she got me a Monkey for my back. It is suppose to be my conscious! I don't like having a monkey on my back! Daddy made me made by grabbing the end of the monkey's tail. Mommy told him to leave it alone and tuck it back into the pocket. So I took off running!! Mommy hollered after me and asked me if I wanted her to get the monkey's tail. Naturally I stopped dead in my tracks. I may have looked like a little dweeb with a monkey on his back but I would have been super dweeb if one of them was holding onto the tail. I got to see my elephant, a tiger, ducks, birds, fish, a squirrel, a Greater Kudu, two giraffes and some turtles. Mommy also offered to let me ride the Camel but I declined. I wonder why she didn't force the issue??

Well I had a blast this weekend. Mommy says now that the weather is nicer we can go do lots of other things. I can't wait!!

Bubbles, Bubbles, and More Bubbles!!!

2008-04-17T21:19:00.002-05:00

It's official! I am a bubble junkie. I have been having a blast using my bubble mower, bubble blowers and bubble juice all over the yard. Mommy is about bubbled out! I just hope she doesn't burst my bubble bubble!!

I have been a busy boy lately. I got to meet my cousin Elizabeth last weekend. She stayed with us all weekend. She's a TV hog though because I didn't get to dominate all the TVs. Can you believe that Mommy made me let her watch whatever she wanted on the big TV. I also got to see My Jessica, Ryan and Aunt Patty! Girls, Girls, Girls!!!

Can you believe that some little brat bit me at school the other day??? The punk bit me hard near my armpit. The Warden was mad and told Mommy that they complained about it to the brat's parents but they said "Oh, he's just teething!!" Give me a break....he's two!! The Warden told Mommy it doesn't help that the brat's parents are in denial. She then told Mommy how it happened. She told Mommy that I took a toy away from the brat and he bit me. Mommy told the Warden to stop telling lies on my because her boy would NEVER take a toy away from someone!!! Yay Mommy!! Well even though we all know that's not true!! I think the Warden might have feared that Mommy was serious. We decided that it would be best to just leave her hanging with the statement!! Of course the Wardens never tell the name of the brat that bites. Eventually it dawned on Mommy that I can speak, so I ratted Jeremy out for biting me--PUNK!! I am glad that Mommy eventually figured out that I am perfectly capable of giving her the information she needs. So what if I occasionally don't get it right! However, I was right this time because Mommy told Daddy to find out this morning and I was correct!!

Well that is all for now. Mommy thinks she and I might go on a field trip this weekend! Well see! Where's My Joey??

The Man Cave!!!

2008-04-08T20:34:00.004-05:00

Well I have had a busy social calendar lately. A few weekends ago we went to Grandma's house for the second weekend in a row. I got to see Aunt Terrie, Uncle Tom, Jake and Brooke. Guess what??? I got an airplane from all of them!! Thanks guys!! I also got to see Larry and Sandy! I haven't seen them (well at least Sandy) in ages. I had a blast tearing up Grandma's house. What can I say, she lets me do it???!!!

I got beat up at school last week!! Me and another kid got into a fight at school. It happened right before Mommy got there. All the Wardens were mother henning me when Mommy got there because I had a busted lip. Mommy gave me a couple kisses, wiped my mouth and I was all better. The Wardens were all besides themselves. I think they thought my lawyer would sue them but my lawyer said that my lip has been busted before and will be busted a bunch of times before I get to a respectable age. So much for having an overbearing lawyer! Anyways, Mommy suspects that my buddy Carter was the one I was fighting with because his Mommy lingered an awfully long time in the parking lot to make sure I was okay. Mommy says she has to suspect Carter because his Mommy lingered a little bit too long. I won't tell who did it!!! My lawyer did advise me though that the "Vengeance is mine" mentality is perfectly acceptable!!

Anyway, Mommy ditched Daddy and me last weekend. She and Sommer went shopping and left Daddy and me to fend for ourselves. It was just us four guys--Me, Daddy, Sebastian and Rufus.---We had a "Man Cave." No girls were allowed...well okay, so we made a few hour exception for Ryan and Jessica but they don't really count. Hmmm...does Rufus really count as a guy because he is awfully needy?? Daddy and I had a blast, well until it was bedtime and I made him "call Mama"!!! We went to surprise Aunt Patty the next morning. Uncle Fester was sleeping but he managed to drag his lazy bottom out of the bed to say hi. Can you believe that Mommy ditched me and only managed to bring clothes back for me??? Isn't it a rule that parents have to bring toys home with them when they are gone overnight??

I ran away from home the other night...well under Mommy's supervision. I walked all the way around our neighborhood...well except I made Mommy carry me and my lawn mower up the big hill. I have to say that the exercise was quite good for me....I actually slept like a baby that night. Speaking of sleep, can you believe that Mommy has instituted a bedtime policy for me? She seemed to have grown weary with me staying up late so now she turns Pablo and the lights off and makes me go to sleep. Mean Mommy!!!

Speaking of mean, can you believe that three imbeciles have cast votes that reflect that I am spoiled?? Those people don't know me at all!!! Anyway, that's all for now. Oh yeah, Where's My Joey???

Oh Yeah---The Penitentiary Egg Hunt!!

2008-03-25T21:47:00.002-05:00

Yo Easter Bunny Are You In There??

(Note to Zack: I hope you got all those eggs down at your feet. If you didn't you are one goofy Buddy!!)

I forgot to tell everyone. I cleaned up at the Penitentiary Egg Hunt. I got 30 something eggs filled with CANDY!! The Warden told Daddy that I got them all by myself but Mommy is skeptical. I think my performance in the practice sessions may be shaking Mommy's confidence in my fetching ability.

The Easter Miracle!!!

2008-03-23T20:15:00.007-05:00

Daddy and Me On Our Way to Church!!

The Great Easter Egg Hunt!!!

Mommy, Daddy and Me went to spend Easter with Grandma Dale. I like going to Grandma's because she lets me do all the things that I know Grandpa Jim wouldn't approve of. Daddy thought he was smart by putting a baby lock on the cabinet door to keep me away from all the flash lights and stuff. I pulled on the door so hard the lock snapped in half. That ought to teach Daddy!!!

Anyway, the Easter Bunny found me at Grandma's house. I got to search for eggs all over the house and the Easter Bunny left me TWO EASTER BASKETS!!! I got a TON of candy, a new "boom box", an Easter Thomas train, a new Thomas movie, a new Elmo DVD and lots of little toys. The Easter Bunny even left baskets for Grandma, Daddy and Mommy. That Easter Bunny sure is thoughtful. I don't remember Santa leaving anything for them at Christmas. Hmmmm....Maybe they were bad!!

Now for the miracle! I made it completely through a very long Church service!! That's right, I sure did. Nobody even bothered to give me a dirty look because I was a perfect angel through out the service. Mommy was extremely proud of me because she thought I was going to be my typical bad boy self and we would end up getting booted from the cry room. Hurrah for me!!! See I can be good!!! Mommy bragged on me to Grandma and Daddy when we caught up with them after the service. They were both very proud of me too!!! I also got to see Mr. Larry at Church. We then went back to Grandma's but I was fast asleep by the time we got back to Grandma's house. I think Oscar nipped my finger when I was sleeping. I woke up crying saying "my finger" and Oscar was sitting in the hallway looking guilty when Mommy got back there. No big deal though because Oscar is my buddy.

After I woke up from my nap we went to see Aunt Patty, Uncle Fester, and Ryan. Aunt Patty's Mommy and brother Don were there too. "Mo" was there (he's Aunt Patty's Mommy's dog) Uncle Fester says that Mo and Rufus both work out at the same gym because they are both fatties! Anway, The Easter Bunny stopped by their house and left me a bunch of eggs, some Reese's Pieces Candy, "Dude Da Bunny" and a big bouncy toy. That Easter Bunny sure knows everything because he knew I was going to their house for dinner and he must have left me extra eggs because I was so good in Church. Aunt Patty made me a yummy dinner. I didn't care much for the ham though so Uncle Fester taught me to make Dexter "speak" for ham. I gave him some Macaroni and Cheese too. I tried to give him corn but nobody would let me. Oh well!!!

Well that was my Easter! I hope yours was "Hoppy"!!! Oh yeah, forgive the pictures, Mommy sure likes to forget the camera lately!

P.S. Where's Joey???

The Great Egg Hunt--Kind Of!!!

2008-03-19T22:24:00.007-05:00

I think I need a new shovel!!!

Okay, so maybe snow isn't so bad!!!

Howdy Howdy Everyone!!! It has been a very interesting past few weeks. First it was cold, then it was hot, then it snowed, then it was hot, and now its rainy! I was surprised to see the snow. I kept saying "pretty snow" but when Daddy took me outside to go to the Baby Penitentiary I wasn't happy at all about having the snow on me. I kept saying "rain off" until Daddy brushed it off of me. I wasn't too happy at the Baby Penitentiary when the Wardens made us go outside to investigate it either. As you can tell though, I got over it. I think it had something to do with Mommy throwing snowballs. No, it wasn't funny at all when she threw one on my shoe!! I was rather hilarious to see the snow balls on the windows though!!!

Anyway, yesterday I went to the allergist to get tested. Mommy and Daddy were exceptionally proud of me. I finally stood on the meat scale (scale) to get my weight taken, I stood up like a big boy without crying so they could see how big I am and I let them scratch my back a billion times to see what I might be allergic to. I did all of that without crying!!! Mommy and Daddy were very very proud of their big boy!!! Unfortunately, my big boy moment didn't last because when the doctor used the stethoscope on me I went ballistic!!! Stethoscopes can be very very dangerous!!! In any event, I passed my tests with flying colors and I got a new big boy puffer tube!! Since I had such a traumatic morning I got to go spend the day with Aunt Kay and Uncle Carl. I had a blast but I think they were happy when it was time for me to go home---they were awfully tired!!!

I got a boo-boo on my eye lid! I slipped in the tub while I was "practicing" my swimming and hurt my "head". Apparently the bathtub crayon holder caught me near my eye. I told Mommy to kiss my head and she did. Then she saw that it was really my eyelid. Can you believe that she didn't tell me that my eyelid was bleeding?? Mommy fixed me all up and I was better in no time. She really thought that I was going to be upset for a long time but I had to "suck it up" really quickly because there was some pretty loud "tunder" and it made the lights go out for a second. I jumped straight out of the bath tub and right into Mommy's arms. I kept telling the tunder to "shut it" but it didn't work! Anyway, my eye is okay but it I have a scrape and it is a little black and blue on the eye lid.

I am happy to report that I am going through a hitting stage! I am learning this from my buddies at school! Mommy feels sorry for the two girls in my cell block because Mommy says that there are way too many boys versus girls which makes us all mean!! Today Daddy witnessed Carter getting pushed off the table by Jake while three other boys were in a tussle. Carter fell and hit his head really hard on the ground. The Wardens were busy breaking up tussles and helping Carter so Daddy had to go find the Head Warden to get an ice pack for Carter. When Daddy told her what happens she referred to my cell block as "Savages." Yes we are, thank you!!

Now to the eggs...Tomorrow is the Great Easter Egg Hunt at the Baby Penitentiary. Mommy thought that since I tend to be a little wimpy and a little a.d.d. I might need to practice the egg hunting thingy to refresh my memory of last year so that I can get some eggs tomorrow. Good plan Mommy but you may have shown me too much. On the first run I quickly found all the eggs Mommy hid from me. On the second run I remembered "Emmy Ms" were in the eggs so I had to stop and open every egg to get the "Emmy Ms" and discard the egg. This slowed my speed way down and Mommy told me that if I wanted to get any "Emmy Ms" the Baby Penitentiary tomorrow I am going to have to get a lot of eggs and put them in my bucket and then open last. So on the third run I threw the bucket down and got as many eggs as I could carry and tried to open them all in one spot. Maybe I will take Mommy's advice and put the eggs in the bucket and open them all after the egg hunt. Anyway, Mommy did tell me that I have to make sure that I make sure the girls get some eggs at the hunt tomorrow and to help them if necessary.

P.S. Dude--Are there any other super tall ladders you want to let me climb up?? Bad babysitter...bad!!

Happy Leap Day!!!

2008-02-29T21:40:00.002-06:00

Happy Leap Day!!! I don't know what Leap Day is....Does it have something to do with presents?? It must because the "Leap Day Frog" brought me the very newest Pablo DVD and a new "Thomas" DVD. I think I am beginning to like "holidays" a whole lot. Apparently you don't have to be good to get Leap Day presents because earlier this week I called Daddy a "punk" for playing with the cat food after Mommy told him not to. Mommy thought I was exceptionally hilarious. Unfortunately, Mommy didn't think I was nearly as cute when I called her a "punk" when she wouldn't stop singing in the car when she was driving me to the Baby Penitentiary the next day. Ha!! Made her stop singing!! Okay, so maybe Leap Day isn't a real holiday but how about we not tell Mommy about it because I would hate for her to stop letting the Leap Day Frog in the front door.

Well that's all for now. Oh yeah, where's Jessica?

Cupid Strikes!!!

2008-02-16T12:39:00.003-06:00

Well Cupid struck again!! I got four presents from Cupid. He left me a remote control train, a new "Thomas", a stuffed Blue and a new "Thomas" dvd. Uncle Carl and Aunt Kay got me my very own guitar!

I didn't get to go to my Valentine's Day party at the Baby Penitentiary though because I got sick. My tummy got a bug!! I even got an upset tummy in Mommy's ear!! I tried to wake her up a 2 a.m. to tell her I was sick...I guess I didn't wake up soon enough. I don't know who felt sorrier for who...me for Mommy or Mommy for me! At least Mommy can find humor in the little episode! Sorry Mommy!! Daddy is the smartest guy in the world because he didn't immediately laugh about the incident!

I got to see Aunt Terri. She came to town to go to Grandma's house and she stayed with me too. Well that is all for now! Oh yeah, I need my Aunt Lili and My Joey to come see me!!!

It's A Bird, It's A Plane---It's Aunt Patty To The Rescue!!!

2008-02-13T21:11:00.003-06:00

I really have a pitiful secretary!!! Can you believe that it has been one month since she updated everyone on my happenings. I am not sure my 2 year old memory can remember everything that has happened since my last posting.

Daddy ditched Mommy and me again! He went on a business trip again. I was the Man of the House. Mommy says I did a great job of taking care of her, Sebastian and Rufus while Daddy was away. I got presents from Daddy when he got home. The best present though was having my bestest buddy aka Daddy home with me again.

Mommy has been busy with her new job and had a temporary long commute. Daddy was in charge of getting me to and from the Baby Penitentiary every day. Aunt Patty really loves me because she came and busted me out of the Baby Penitentiary two days in a row so I didn't have to wait for Mommy to get there for me past my normal pick up time. Aunt Patty is the best!!! I got to see my Jessica and Uncle Fester two days in a row!! I got to yell "Shut It Puppy" to Dexter too. Guess what else??? Aunt Patty and My Jessica brought me a shirt back from Disney World. My Jessica went there for a dance competition. I think the competition was rigged because My Jessica should have won!! Her dance team still did well though and My Jessica is still Numero Uno to me!!

Anyway, things really haven't been too exciting lately. Tomorrow is Valentine's Day and rumor has it that Cupid has been busy getting me some tokens of affection. I am sure I will "feel the love" tomorrow (not that I don't feel it everyday).

Escape From the Mall!!!

2008-01-13T21:15:00.000-06:00

My secretary has been too busy shopping to update my blog. She finally found the time to update everyone in my happenings, not that there is much to tell.

I have been busy learning all about time out lately. Time out isn't much fun. However, Mommy tried to put herself in time out in my corner so I evicted her and told her to find her own corner. Daddy was misbehaving so I made him go to time out!! He actually did it!!! The things they do to humor me.

My big news is that I escaped from the mall (while under parental supervision of course)!! Mommy, Daddy and me went to the mall yesterday. I decided I didn't want to be at the mall any longer. Daddy was in a massage machine, so Mommy and I went and bought a cookie for her favoritest boy. After I got my cookied I took off. I walked right past Daddy in his little machine and said "Bye bye Daddy." I tried to get Mommy to pick me up but she wouldn't do it because she wanted to see what I was up to. So I kept going through the mall back into Dillard's. All the way through Dillard's. I got stuck at the intersection but decided I needed to hang a right towards the lingerie (yeah...me likes!). Sure enough I was right. I went down the stairs and out the door and headed for the car. I did get into trouble for stepping off the curb without holding Mommy's hand. I got to the car and said "Bye-bye Daddy" again. Mommy had to explain to me that it didn't quite work that way. Since Daddy had the keys we couldn't ditch him and had to wait for him to let us in. Oh well, I tried!!! Both Mommy and Daddy we impressed that I had a well thought out plan and knew exactly where I was going. Mommy says that she is going to get me a leash. What's a leash???

I got to see my Jessica and Aunt Patty today. Our visit got cut short though because I threw a bunch of toys into the kitchen and refused to pick them up, so I got a nap time time out in my crib. Not nice!!! In my defense, I picked up a few of them!!

Well not much has been going on. I think I need My Joey to come see me!!

I Got An Overnight Furlough!!!

2007-12-30T21:06:00.000-06:00

My Wardens let me have an overnight furlough last night! I got to sleep over at Uncle Fester and Aunt Patty's house!! There wasn't even an emergency situation that required me to pack an overnight bag...I got to sleep over just because!!! I got my Christmas presents from them too. I got an airplane, two shirts (with airplanes on them) and jeans!!! Uncle Fester picked out my outfits and Mommy even had to admit that he did a great job!! Thanks Uncle Fester, Aunt Patty, Ryan and Jessica!!!

Anyway, back to my sleep over...I got to play with Dexter the puppy!! He was pretty cool except when he barked at me! I would have to tell him to "shut up" because I didn't like him yelling at me. I got to hang out with My Jessica and we watched Pablo together!! I woke Aunt Patty up at 2:45 because I was hungry! Can you believe it, she actually got me what I wanted!! What an Aunt!!! Mommy and Daddy showed up this morning to get me. I am sure they missed me!!!

Well, I had a blast and I sure hope they let me come back sometime!! Thanks for everything Uncle Fester, Aunt Patty, Ryan and Jessica!!

Don't Believe the Myth!! Santa Remembers Even the Naughtiest Boys!!!

2007-12-29T21:16:00.000-06:00

Sorry about the pictures!!! Mommy forgot to bring the camera and had to use her phone!!!

Daddy and Me before church!!!

Christmas Eve present to take the edge off!!!

Grandma Dale got me a car!!!

Choo Choo Trains!!!

I even got a train track!!!

I LOVE CHRISTMAS!!! Mommy, Daddy and Me made the Christmas rounds!! I went to see Grandpa Len and Granny Bev! They got me Pirate Treasure!!! I got my very own treasure chest, a book and a roll of dollar coins!!! I was playing catch with Grandpa Len when I decided I might try throwing my roll of dollar coins. I yelled "Ready!" but Mommy quickly yelled "NO!" and took my roll of money from me!! I think she may have thought that Grandpa Len's reflexes might be a little slow in his old age! Oh well!!

We went to Grandma Dale's on Christmas Eve. It was still strange not having Grandpa Jim there but Grandma Dale let me do the things that Grandpa Jim didn't let me do. We all went to church that night. Daddy and Grandma Dale went into the main part of the church while Mommy and me went to the "cry room" since I have a bad track record in church. I was having a blast in the cry room!! I was climbing the walls, climbing all over the pews (even busted my lip doing that), sticking my face on the window that looks into the main part of the church, jumping off the pews, yelling for the sake of yelling, tormenting the little girl behind us and taking toys away from a bigger boy!!! Can you believe it, I even got booted from the cry room!!! YAY ME!!! (Well technically I didn't since Mommy decided to take me outside on her own because I was too rowdy but everyone was happy to see us go!!! I think they might have felt sorry for Mommy though.) I got to run all over the place once we got outside. Maybe I ran a little too much because Mommy took me into the lobby of the church to wait for Daddy and Grandma Dale. I discovered the water fountain in there. I don't know why Mommy made a big deal out of a lot of water on the wall but we ended up back outside. This time Mommy held me hostage on her shoulders so I couldn't run off or break anything!!! I showed her...I pulled on her hair, her earrings and pinched her cheeks!!! Mommy told me that Santa Claus wasn't going to come see me because I was being very very naughty!! Can you believe that Mommy actually asked me if I put some "crack" in my bottle before we got to church????!!!! Anyway, Daddy and Grandma Dale finally came out of the church. Mommy promptly told Daddy that she "quits" and gave me to him. I just laughed and laughed and laughed!!! She wouldn't even let me watch Pablo in the car because she said I was too naughty!!! I think Daddy was proud of me for being so rowdy that I got booted from the cry room!! Mommy told me that all she wants for Christmas is for she and I not have to leave a church service!! I have a feeling that isn't going to happen any time soon!! I think Mommy was done being upset with me by the time we got back to Grandma Dale's house because she let me open two presents!!!

Turns out that Santa didn't care if I was naughty or nice because he gave me two presents, candy, play dough, and a new pair of Mickey Mouse Crocs!!! I got a Thomas the Tank Engine Railway set and a remote control Bob the Builder Bulldozer set (which I have conveniently name "Canta Cause"). I got loads of toys from Daddy and Mommy. I wasn't too impressed with the clothes though. Grandma Dale got me a Pablo Go-Kart, books, a movie, some clothes and two trains (Edward and James)!! I got mega Toys 'R Us bucks from Aunt Lili, Uncle F.O., Jesse and My Joey. I got even more from Aunt Terri, Uncle Tom, Jake and Brooke. I picked out a remote control train set and two more Thomas trains with some of my Toys 'R Us bucks and have plenty left to spend. I got real money from Grandma Lily and Kim but Mommy and Daddy are making me save it. I get my presents from Uncle Fester, Aunt Patty, Ryan and My Jessica this weekend.

Anyway, I had a great Christmas! Thanks everyone!!!

Terrible Twos!!! The Drama Continues!!!

2007-12-15T11:44:00.000-06:00

I think I want to be one again because being two hasn't been any fun at all. First I lost my Grandpa Jim then I got sick sick sick! It all started last Saturday night when I told Mommy that my eye hurt. The doctor thought I had pink eye so I went to hang out with Aunt kay and Uncle Carl on Monday. Then right before Mommy got there I started running a fever. I was hot hot hot all night and my tummy was upset too. Poor Mommy she had to keep doing laundry all night. I got to hang out with Mommy all day Tuesday. She took me to the doctor (I was suppose to go for my two year old check up but Mommy converted it to a sick call--how convenient)! Anyway, I have a virus that has to run its course and possibly a sinus infection. We got a lecture because I won't give up my morning and nite nite bottle. Mommy told the doctor that giving up the bottle is my New Year's resolution. Well see. In any event, I am 35 3/8 inches tall and doing well.

I went to hang out with Aunt Kay and Uncle Carl again Wednesday. I had a blast and am a very lucky boy to have them as godparents. Mommy stayed with me Thursday. My fever came back with a vengenance on Thursday evening so I had to make another trip to the emergency room so the doctor and nurse could poke and prod me again. Daddy took care of me on Friday. The house was a disaster when Mommy got home so she is convinced that I am on the road to recovery. I think she may be right.

We learned Thursday that Warden Kristy is abandoning me and so is my regular Warden (Mommy isn't too tore up over that). I don't know how I am going to manage without Warden Kristy because she has been my security blanket for a long time. Not only that but that means one of my best buddies (Hayden) is leaving too. They just better not take Jake with them.

Anyway, being two hasn't been fun at all. I think I need My Joey to come see me. I am a man in crisis.

Terrible Twos!!! Bye Bye Grandpa Jim!!

2007-12-10T21:11:00.000-06:00

Grandpa Jim and Me at our first Christmas.

Grandpa Jim and Me being fish!

Finally got more hair than Grandpa Jim.

Grandpa Jim and Me share a moment over a bottle.

My last picture of Granpa Jim (taken at my 2nd birthday party--Why didn't Mommy take a better picture??)

I now understand why they call it "Terrible Twos!" My "two" got off to a horrible start--I lost my Grandpa Jim last Monday night!! I knew something was terribly wrong when Mommy and Daddy woke me up in the middle of the night, took my "blanky" and "pilly" (pillow) to take me to Uncle Fester's and Aunt Patty. I tried to make the best of the situation by entertaining Uncle Fester, Aunt Patty and My Jessica. Uncle Fester said that Aunt Patty and I had a snore fest and that I am a bed hog. Dude---Am Not!!!

Aunt Patty took me to work with her that morning and then she took me to the Baby Penitentiary! Guess what, Aunt Patty picked me up and got me a happy meal!!! Is she the best or what?? Mommy came back home Tuesday night and took me to Grandma Dale's so I could be reunited with Daddy and be there for Grandma Dale. Call me crazy, but I think Uncle Fester was actually ready for me to go!! He looked a little worn out by the time Mommy got there.

I am happy to report that I was a very good boy the whole way there. Mommy was worried about venturing off in the dark with me that far. I may be two but I am not dumb. I knew that I was expected to be the man of the car and not cause any problems for Mommy!! Aunt Terri, Uncle Tom, Jake and Brooke were there too! I have to admit that I cheated on Jessica....I loved playing with Brooke and copying everything she did. Sorry Jessica...I needed a chick fix. Anyways, I got to see all kinds of people at Grandma's house.

Thursday we all said bye-bye to Grandpa Jim. Uncle Fester and Aunt Patty came all the way to sit with me in the church so I didn't cause a huge disturbance. I got to see Grandpa Len and Granny Bev (I think she may still be crying), Uncle Carl, Aunt Kay, Uncle Jerry and Auntie Norma and a host of other people and family members. I had so many of my favorite people around I didn't know what to do! I am happy to report that I was very well behaved!! Okay, except for spitting out the macaroni and cheese in the church dining hall! What can I say...it wasn't very good.

Anyway, I am going to miss my Grandpa Jim. I am glad that I didn't get banned from the services because I got to say bye bye to Grandpa Jim. I didn't know Grandpa Jim for very long but I know I am going to miss my Grandpa Jim because he was one of the bestest Grandpas ever.

Toys Up the Wazoo's Wazoo!!!

2007-12-02T16:48:00.001-06:00

No 2nd Birthday would be complete without a Pablo cake!!!

I think Mommy was a little nervous that I might decide to put the

wagon to a speed test down the big hill with her in it!!!

(Oh yeah, photo credits go to Uncle Fester...since all of Mommy and

me are in it, everyone can pretty much figure out that Daddy

didn't take the shot!)

Joey and me reconfiguring the wagon!

Aunt Lili and me---Don't we look alike???

All I can say about my Backyardigans birthday bash is -- Oh My!!! My Joey and Aunt Lili flew all the way here again just to bring me presents!! (I missed out on my Uncle F.O. and Jesse). I got a new hockey stick, hockey balls, and an official Dallas Stars hockey jersey. I am going to play hockey like My Joey and Jesse when I get bigger!!! Grandpa Jim and Grandma Dale came by also to bring me a sound stage as a present!! Grandpa Len and Granny Bev brought me a new bike!! Uncle Fester, Aunt Patty, Ryan and My Jessica got me a new outfit (my cleaning babe was adamant that I not get anymore toys---TOO BAD!) Aunt Kay and Uncle Carl got me the bestest wagon ever---I even pulled Mommy down the drive way in it. Uncle Jerry and Auntie Norma got me the coolest Tonka truck!!! (Uncle Jerry picked it out because Auntie Norma does not know how to pick out cool big boy toys. Thanks for watching my back Uncle Jerry--again!! Let's not forget about the pumpkin at Halloween.) Miss Rita got me a phonic alphabet set for the refrigerator. I get to pick a present at the store from Uncle Tom, Aunt Terri, Jake and Brooke. Last but not least...I got a great easel from Sommer and Amanda so I can write, color and paint all over Mommy's walls. Mommy says that when I color and paint on the walls those two are going to be over here repainting. Big hugs and kisses to all and a tons of thanks!!!

Anyway, Mommy and Daddy have decided that my toy situation has gone from ridiculous to extremely absurd. Much to the pleasure of My Jessica, Mommy has ousted about half my toys from the house. She bagged up the half that I don't really use anymore and put it in the attic. I am going to yard sale them one day so I can buy more toys!!!

Well thanks everyone!!! Big kisses and hugs!!

Me and My Shadow!!!

2007-12-02T12:07:00.001-06:00

Just like Peter Pan, I finally discovered my shadow. Everyone was laughing at me because I wasn't too keen on having something follow my every move! I am glad everyone can laugh at my expense!!

Happy Birthday To Me!!!

2007-11-30T20:55:00.000-06:00

Guess who's 2? Me!! That's who!! I had the best 2nd birthday ever!! Mommy says that no boy should have to go to the Baby Penitentiary on his birthday so we played hookey today!!!

Mommy sent cupcakes with me to the Baby Penitentiary yesterday so I could celebrate my last full day of being 1 with my cellmates!! I even let the bratty kids have some. Mommy and Daddy think that bossy Emma is my girlfriend because I always smile, say Emma and then run over to her but act like I am not interested. Mommy doesn't think my taste in women is very good because Emma is BOSSY!! Mommy can't understand why I would want a bossy woman. Daddy just smiles at Mommy, winks at me, and says that he doesn't know why I like bossy women either because I am never around such type women!! I think Daddy is in trouble!

Anyway, today I found a box wrapped in Pablo paper on the coffee table. I went to investigate it. Guess what?? It was a present for me!! Daddy helped me investigate the insides...it was a Pablo train!!! I love my CHOOOO-CHOOOO!!!

Then we all got dressed and went to get DONUTS!!!! I got TWO DONUTS because I am TWO!!! I got to go to Mommy's office so I could visit everyone. I was really shy at first but I kissed Mr. Smedley!! When it was time to go I decided it was okay to say bye-bye to everyone and blow kisses!! Ms. Laura came up there to see me too!!

I got to go get my picture taken too!! (Yes people, you will be getting them not too long after Mommy gets hers.) I wouldn't cooperate inside the studio so we got to do an outdoor shoot so I would behave. I got to throw "gum balls" into a pond, play on a bridge and jump off big rocks! I decided I needed to do some business, so Mommy told the photographer to give me some privacy. Thanks Mommy!!! After we were done, I got to go see Aunt Kay and Uncle Carl!!! I ran all over the office and found a vacuum cleaner to play with. I was exhausted by the time we go back to the car.

Mommy and I took a long birthday nap this afternoon. When I woke up there were two giant Christmas blow ups set up in my playground. All I could say was "Oh My!" Then I found another present!! I got three more Pablo playsets. There are more presents for me but Mommy says that I can have them tomorrow. You don't think that she will try to get me to forget about them and then act like they are Christmas presents do you?? Anyway, rumor has it that My Joey is going to personally deliver me a present tomorrow.

Well, I had a wonderful day!! It's good to be two!!!

Happy Gobble Gobble Day!!!

2007-11-22T20:28:00.000-06:00

Boy!!! The house sure smelled good today! Daddy and I played all morning because Mommy was busy cooking food, food and more food. I have taken to trying to climb the stairs by sneaking over to the staircase and climbing up the stairs on the outside of the railing. Mommy and Daddy won't stop yelling at me about that. I think I am coordinated enough to climb stairs with two inches of floor space. Mommy is threatening to put razor wire on the staircase to teach me a lesson. I also asked her "what's that?" pointing at the turkey. Can you believe that she told me that it was the last buddy she had that climbed up the stairs on the outside of the railing. Someone please tell me that she is lying!!!

Anyway, they finally convinced me to take a nap. Guess who woke me up? My "Ca" and Back Up Babe Ryan woke me up. Want boy wouldn't want those two to wake them from their slumber?? I was so excited!!! Uncle Fester, Aunt Patty, Grandpa Len, Granny Bev, Grandpa Jim and and Grandma Dale were all there too! I gave everyone hugs and kisses!! (Well except Austin---his beard kinda freaks me out!) Seems the grandparent units aren't sure what to get me for my birthday because they have seen that I have too many toys. All I can say is...GOOD LUCK FINDING SOMETHING I DON'T ALREADY HAVE!!!!

Anyway, how about an update?? I have been getting bit by some brat at the Baby Penitentiary. Mommy was made because the Wardens hadn't mentioned it and Mommy was finding the teeth marks on me. The Wardens didn't know because I am not a baby...I just take it like a man when some brat bites me and don't cry about it. Mommy says I should head butt the biters, I think I will try that!!

I got to see my biological family last Sunday. I even got to meet my biological grandfather!! I even gave everyone kisses (not that I am shy about dishing out the love nowadays)! I had a blast playing with all the kids. I was mad when all the kids left. I think Santa should bring me a brother and sister! Mommy says that I am too young to really know what I want. She also says that if I had a little brother or sister I would have to share my toys all the time and that I would hate to not be the Sun, Stars and the Moon. Well....she may have a valid point there!!!

Well that's all for now. Only 8 more shopping days until the BIG 2!!!!!

Road Trip!!!!

2007-11-11T16:48:00.000-06:00

I got to go on a road trip with Mommy and Daddy!!! We went to Dallas to see Uncle FO, Aunt Lili, Jesse and my Joey. Mommy ought to get the Mommy of the year award. I took a two hour nap in the car on the way down and then I decided to stay up and play with Joey until 2 a.m. What a Mommy! Anyway, I was really nice to everyone this time, even to Oreo! I thought it was pretty fun to keep putting my food into Oreo's bowl for him to eat. Mommy made me get mad at Jesse because I changed my mind about the M&M I put in Oreo's bowl and she made Jesse wrestle it away from me. Poor Jesse, poor me!! In any event, I had a blast and Uncle F.O. said I can come back!! Thanks for having me Aunt Lili. See you in a couple weeks Joey and Jesse!

Maybe That Wasn't A Good Idea!!!

2007-11-05T21:17:00.000-06:00

I was mean to Mommy yesterday. In my own defense, she was mean first. She wouldn't give me the vacuum cleaner because she was using it to vacuum behind the bed. So I picked up the floor attachment and clobbered Mommy in the head with it!!! Can you believe that I got into trouble for that??? I had to go to time out because I laughed after hurting Mommy's head! Well it seemed like a good idea at the time!! I hated time out!!! Daddy asked Mommy how long I had to stay in time out (sitting on the couch with Daddy not being allowed to get down). Mommy told him that I had to stay there until her head didn't hurt anymore. Mommy told me that I am lucky that she is not old school because old school people would have spanked me with the vacuum. Now that wouldn't be cool!

Apparently Mommy wasn't too mad at me because she let me go see my girl Ca and my back up babe Ryan later that afternoon! I just love my girls!! I got to eat M & Ms over there. I got into trouble though because when I decided I had enough of the M & Ms I just spit them onto the floor. What's wrong with that??? Uncle Fester didn't mind at all!!! Mommy isn't too pleased with my new knack for trying to spit. She says it isn't very cute and I must stop immediately. A boy can't have any fun!

Eating Like A Horse!!

2007-11-03T21:25:00.000-05:00

I don't get it. First Mommy frets over me not eating enough. So now that I have decided to eat from the moment I wake up until the moment I fall asleep she seems to have a problem with that too! I have been chowing down all week. Mommy and Daddy are actually humored by my antics and know that means I am storing up for a growth explosion. I think they just hope my grown explosion results in an upward explosion and not an outward one.

Anyways, the news of the day....I pottied on the potty!!! That's right. A deal is a deal. I pottied in the potty and Mommy gave me M & Ms. Mommy and Daddy were quite pleased that I pottied on command!!

Trick or Treat!!!

2007-10-31T21:42:00.001-05:00

Am I not the bestest looking fireman ever???

Had to say thanks to Auntie Norma for the goodies!!!

As usual, all my lady friends are fussing over me!!!

Why should I walk when I have Ca!!!

My backup babe Ryan was there for me too!!

This may have been my second Halloween but this was the first time I could truly appreciate what Halloween means to kids everywhere!! The Wardens decided that the inmates were such good inmates that we got to have a Halloween party! Mommy sent all kinds of cookies for my cell block (for some strange reason though she sent the kinds that I love most!)! Anyway, we all got to go to school wearing our costumes and we got all kinds of treats!! I even got a "pig out" for all the eating I managed to do at the party!!

After Mommy busted me out of the Baby Penitentiary, she said we had to go home and wait for Daddy because we had plans. Guess what??? Mommy and I checked out my goody bags (that's right--bags) and I got to eat some more candy and use my new skeleton straw. Guess what else??? I went to Auntie Norma and Uncle Jerry's house as a trick or treater for the very first time. Guess what??? I got my very own pumpkin filled with goodies from Auntie Norma and Uncle Jerry! (Rumor has it that I wouldn't have gotten a pumpkin had Uncle Jerry not told Auntie Norma that I had to get a pumpkin from them too!!! Thanks Uncle Jerry...I always knew you would have my back! We men have to stick together!) I had a blast over there especially because I got to see the PPs (they are dogs)! Of course the Mamarattzi was right there clicking away!! Would hate for her to not document my first treat or treat outing!

We went to Uncle Fester Dude's new house after we left Uncle Jerry and Auntie Norma's. He opened the door to give me candy and I ran straight into the house to him! I think that helped me get extra candy!! Mommy told me that when I am trick or treating I am not suppose to run into people's houses. Oh well!! Aunt Patty and Ca finally came home so I could go trick or treating to safe people's houses! Mommy was positioning herself to take pictures when we got to Debbie's house. Ca helped me ring the bell and sure enough just as soon as the door open I flew inside. Mommy panicked but Aunt Patty told her that it was okay because Ryan was over there and she was the one who opened the door!! I don't think Mommy could help herself...she had to remind me again to not run into people's houses. Why does she think I am a moron??? Of course I know not to go into strangers houses!! Anyway, we went to Aunt Patty's mom's house and I got candy and I also got to play with her phone!! Mommy tells me that I should consider myself lucky because not many trick or treaters get to play with other people's phones!

Anyway, my first trick or treating adventure was a huge success. I had an oreo cookie and M&M beard by the time we got home. Mommy was just glad that we got home quick enough to clean the night off of me!! Hooray for candy!!!

Bad Timing!!!

2007-10-19T20:38:00.000-05:00

I got to stay home with Mommy yesterday because I got sick sick sick!!! I was well enough though to make Mommy vacuum though. We went on a field trip to Target and she actually let me look at all the vacuums. She did make say please though. Manners smanners!!

I got into trouble at the Baby Penitentiary today. I didn't know Mommy was there. Anyway, i picked up a shovel with some pebbles loaded into it and catapulted them at Aiden's head. He cried and cried! Unfotunately Mommy walked in right as I was releasing my load. Can you believe that she scolded me and then made me say sorry to Aiden. Aiden didn't seem to want anything to do with me or my apology. Well all I can say is that I tried to say sorry. Mommy was proud of me for at least trying to make amends to Aiden. Mommy says that I need to work on my timing. I think my timing was just fine because the Warden had her attention diverted when I did it! Anyway, Mommy said that I need to make sure that she doesn't catch me because if she doesn't see it, it didn't happen!!

State Fair!!!

2007-10-14T21:33:00.001-05:00

So Much To Do, So Little Time!!!

Proof That Mommy Goes Places With Me!!!

(Also a fine example as to why Daddy is not allowed to

take pictures of Mommy and Me!)

Daddy and Me Are Going To Go Up Up and Away!!!

Daddy and Me Going Down a Big Wee (Slide)!!!

Uncle Carl and Me Riding the Trucks!!!

Daddy and Me Winning Prizes!!!

Aunt Kay, Uncle Carl and Me Got Ate By A Bear!!!

Daddy and Me Dancing To Charlie Daniels Band!!! Hee Haw!!

I had another great weekend!!! Mommy and I went shopping Saturday morning while Daddy and Uncle Fester did big guy things. Guess what?? Mommy lifted the Pablo ban in her car and hooked up my portable DVD player (I got it for vacation) and let me watch my shows while we rode around. We went to Babies 'R Us (her idea not mine). Mommy said that the store is two years too late for us. Oh well. Anyway, the Krispy Kreme man was there giving out free doughnuts. Mommy was nice enough to get me a doughnut. I wolfed it down! I love doughnuts. I also got to see Geoffry the Giraffe. I made him keeps is distance though because he may have been interesting, he was also kind of creepy.

I got to see Uncle Fester, Aunt Patty and My Jessica!! They came over to hang out with me on Saturday. I got to chase Jessica around and help her clean up my mess!! Uncle Fester let me taste his Frappacino. Mommy wasn't too happy about that. What can I say, I am a Vance and I love my coffee!!! I was mean to Aunt Patty! I had a squirt bottle to play with. Uncle Fester asked me if I wanted him to shoot Mommy with the squirt bottle and I said "No." He asked me if I wanted him to shoot Daddy, I said "No." Then he asked if I wanted him to shoot Aunt Patty with the water and I said "YES!" So he did it. It was funny!!!

Mommy and Daddy woke me up from my nap early on Sunday. I was mad!!! Mommy told me to keep yelling about it because in the end I would be happy about being disturbed. Sure enough, I was ECSTATIC in the end. We went to the State Fair!! We even invited Aunt Kay and Uncle Carl to come with us! I hadn't seen much of them since we got back from vacation and was placed in the bigger boy side of the room, so seeing them was great! We walked all over the fair checking out all of the food. They tried to get me to eat some fried coke but I wasn't going to have any part of that. I prefer my coke to be coke and my dough to be dough!! I got to nibble on treats though!! Daddy and I checked out the big boy wee (slide). I wasn't sure about going into the ride at first but after going down the wee I ran away from Daddy to get back inside so I could go wee again!! I kept eyeing the humongous wee but Mommy told me that I wasn't ready for that one yet. Maybe next year!! I also got to ride the "jet" with Daddy, the trucks with Uncle Carl, the roller coaster with Mommy (that was a blast---I had a huge smile on my face the entire time--I just love those fast turns), the spinning bears with Aunt Kay and Uncle Carl and the carousel with Daddy.

Aunt Kay got scolded (not really) because I sneaked some goat food into my mouth when she wasn't looking. Mommy didn't miss a thing though!! Uncle Carl was not the other side of the pen and I am sure he was glad that he wasn't over there. All of this is really Uncle Fester's fault though. After all, he is the one that taught me how to use the "gumball" machines and that treats come out of them.

Oh yeah, I won prizes at the fair! I got to play the dart game. I think I scared the guy though because he eventually handed me a balloon and told me to pop it with the dart. I think that he was afraid that my aim would improve and I would actually manage to hit him with the dart!! I got a fish from him! I also got to pick ducks!! I got two fish and a frog!!

Well that was my weekend!!!

Pumpkin Patch!!!

2007-10-07T20:32:00.000-05:00

Happiness Is Hanging Out With Daddy!!

That's The One I Want!!!

I am finally allowing Mommy to leave me at the Baby Penitentiary without creating a gigantic scene. Mommy has decided to wait to leave me when Warden Kristy is there and makes sure that I have the right phone to play with. Anyway, Mommy and Warden Kristy thought I was going to have a melt down the other day because they couldn't find the right phone. We looked everywhere for it but it was no where to be found. I went back to Mommy and said "C'Mon" and motioned for the door. I started to make my meltdown face when Mommy told me I had to stay and tried to give me a different phone. Warden Kristy saved the day though because she told me we would look for it in the other closet. That seemed reasonable enough to me so I agreed to a temporary cease fire. Fortunately for me, Mommy, Warden Kristy and everyone else in the room the phone was hidden in the closet behind some other toys. Apparently there was a prison riot and the phone was involved so it got sent to isolation (along with a bunch of other toys). I told Mommy bye once I had possesssion of the phone. Mommy was really impressed with my manners on Friday. I was playing in the bigger kids cell waiting for Warden Kristy to get to my cell with the breakfast cart. Hayden came over to play with me. Mommy told me to share the phone with Hayden that day. So I gladly handed the phone to Hayden so he could play with it. As soon as we got into our cell I grabbed our phone. Each of us had an identical phone. However, I had the phone that belonged in our cell and Hayden didn't. Did I plan that out right or not???

I had a great weekend. Mommy and Daddy surprised me Saturday by taking me to the Pumpkin Patch!! I wasn't too thrilled about the pumpkin patch at first. It wasn't long before I realized that there were all kinds of things to do at the pumpkin patch! I had a blast running through the tunnel under the haystacks. I also got to climb all over the haystacks just like the big boys!!! We then went to to find the perfect pumpkins!! I got to pick pumpkins for Me, Mommy, Daddy, Uncle Carl, Aunt Kay and Jessica. Mommy says I was wasn't very nice on the pumpkin picking. I would pick up almost any old pumpkin and throw it in the wagon except for Jessica's!! I carefully examined the pumpkins to find the perfect pumpkin for My Jessica and then I gently placed it in the wagon. What kind of guy would I be if I picked just any old pumpkin and threw it in the wagon for my best girl Jessica??? Anyway, later that day I got t deliver my pumpkin to Jessica!!

On Sunday Mommy, Daddy and me went searching for a Halloween costume I might actually tolerate wearing (Mommy found me a Pablo costume but it is too big and too heavy so she decided to just keep it around for later). We went all over looking for costumes. We finally settled on a light weight fireman's costume. I am sure I will throw the hat off but at least the rest of the costume has a chance of staying on. Anyway, while we were looking for costumes I was also shoe shopping. I just love shoes!! Mommy says it is the Imelda Marcos in me that makes me love shoes so much. I got a brand new pair of Sketchers that light up when ever I jump! Daddy said I didn't need them since I got a new pair of Sketchers (with lights even) earlier last week. Mommy is the best though because she said that I needed them because they were a different color and I wanted them and that's all that matters!!! Besides, Mommy said it was either the Sketchers or the sparkly pink ballerina shoes that I was making a fuss over. Daddy eventually saw the wisdom of me getting the new pair of light up Sketchers. Anyway, I love my new shoes and I like to jump to make them blink. I won't even let Daddy put non-lighting shoes on me now.

Party On!!

2007-09-30T20:58:00.000-05:00

I have been a very busy boy this weekend. Mommy and Daddy said I was looking rather shaggy so they made me get a haircut. I cried when I saw Ms. Tamara's salon. I am happy to report though that there was no blood shed involved this time. I didn't put up a huge fight like I normally did. I screamed for a little while but decided it wasn't getting the results that I wanted so I stopped and just let her cut my hair. I must admit, getting haircuts are all that bad. Afterwards Mommy and Daddy took me and showed me off to people who could have been my neighbors (Mommy and Daddy use to live next door to them in Little Rock). They were all impressed with how handsome I am and that I have my own DVD player in the back of the car.

Today I got to see Aunt Patty and My Jessica. I was so excited when I saw that My Jessica was pulling into the driveway. I ran faster than my lamborfeeti could take me and tripped and slid across the sidewalk. I have a big scrape on my knee. I took my fall like a man though because I didn't cry at all. I just got up and kept trying to run to Jessica. Mommy wouldn't let me run though because she was worried about my owie. Mommy is such a girl!! Anyway, I supervised Jessica while she cleaned. Aunt Key stopped by to see me too.

I went to Jessica's this afternoon for her cake and ice cream party. I got to play with Ryan and Jessica. I had a blast because Uncle Fester showed me how to work the candy dispenser and loaded me up on Mountain Dew. Mommy wasn't very happy about that because she knew that I was going to go into a sugar high and ruin my appetite for dinner. She was right on both accounts. Mommy told me that I should enjoy my "sugar high" because the fall is going to be pretty rough. She was right on that too! Once the sugar high wore off I was out like a cranky little light! Good night!!

Buddy Takes A Vacation!!!

2007-09-24T15:43:00.000-05:00

Daddy and Me Back At the Southernmost Point

In the Continential United States.

Daddy and Me At Sunrise.

Serenade on Duvall Street.

Feeding the Pigeons At the Aquarium.

Daddy and Me At the Beach.

Uncle Carl and Me Watching the FISH!

Come Here Little Shell!

Too Much Vacation!!

What a vacation!!! I had a blast on vacation. Mommy backed down and tried to take me to Meet the Dolphins face to face. She knew that I would probably freak out since I would have to get into the water with her to meet them. Mommy decided it was only money and maybe the lure of the fish would be great enough for me to endure getting into the water. I spazzed just as soon as I saw everyone else get into the water so Mommy decided not to even bother trying to get me to go further. The dolphin seem to sense that I was apprehensive so he came and "talked" to me. That seemed to satisfy me and Mommy. Besides, I got to see them a lot closer than I would have had we not paid so all was not lost. Mommy assures me though that she is going to make me beg to swim with the dolphins for three separate trips before she will let me do it.

I got to hang out on the beach with Uncle Carl, Aunt Kay and Daddy. We would look for crabs, shells, coconuts, fish and doggies!! I had a blast. Saturday afternoon we went to Key West to explore. I got to feed the chickens and the pigeons. I had a blast doing that! Mommy decided we needed to abandon the chickens and the pigeons because I started throwing my hot dog to them instead of eating it. Daddy and I got serenaded by a guy and his dog. He some how knew my name is Buddy and that my favoritest song is Puff the Magic Dragon! That was a fun experience but the guy didn't know all of the words and can't sing the song nearly as well as Uncle Carl!!

Uncle Carl and I did the "Duval Crawl," which means we walked to all the bars (No people, we didn't go in or have any drinks. Jeez--what kind of godfather do you think I have??). Any way stopped in front of one bar and the guy singing stopped in the middle of his song to announce "Shots for Tots!" Mommy thought that was hilarious but did tell Uncle Carl that he probably shouldn't be "bar hopping" with his godson. Uncle Carl told Mommy that it was okay because it was my idea!!

We went to the aquarium on Sunday before we went to the airport. Daddy and I got to see the fish, turtles and feed the pigeons. I was suppose to be feeding the fish but the pigeons were a little jealous and aggressive so I had to feed them too. Daddy couldn't get the food out of the machine quick enough for the pigeons and they pecked him for being too slow.

The ride home was long. There were a lot of grumpy people on the planes. That's okay though because I don't care that they didn't like me because I didn't like them either. Daddy and I got on the plane early in Miami because I was having a tantrum about having to leave the pay phone that I was playing with. When Mommy finally on the plane I started screaming because I wanted to go to her but wasn't allowed to because other people were also getting on the plane at the time. Can you believe that some lady said "I am gonna kill that child"? Mommy thought about saying something to her but decided to just let it go since Mommy couldn't think of a polite way to say anything to her. I was better on the flight from Chicago to Little Rock. Mommy did laugh though because one lady was mad simply because I was speaking. I didn't like that lady at all!! Apparently I wasn't the only one who didn't like her--the stewardess barely bumped her as she was passing by and the lady got all agitated and disgruntled.

We got home really late. I was out cold and it wasn't until this morning that I realized where we were. I woke up at the crack of dawn and saw Rufus on the bed with us. I hugged him really tight. I think Rufus missed me too because he actually let me hug him for a really long time. Just as soon as I passed the closet that is home to the vacuum cleaner I tried to get it out. Mommy told me that we don't vacuum before the sun comes up and I could vacuum after we get home from school. Speaking of school. I graduated to the bigger boy side of the room last week. I am now on the potty side of the room. Mommy and Daddy were really excited because I get to "pee" at school and am back together with Jake. Yay!!!

Well that is all for now. Oh yeah, Uncle Fester thanks for taking care of Rufus and Sebastian. You the Man Dude!!

Planes, Trains and Automobiles!!! Part Deux

2007-09-20T15:58:00.000-05:00

I Got To Wake Up To This View!

Greetings from the Florida Keys!!! I got to get up at 3:30 a.m. yesterday morning so I could go on vacation. Mommy was certain that I would go back to sleep in the car but I didn't!! Guess what?? We went and picked up Aunt Key!!! I was so excited to see her in the middle of the night!!! Guess who I saw at the airport??? Uncle Jar!!! Seems he was going on vacation with me too!!! The airport man made Daddy mad because he was taking too long to get our tickets spit out of the machine. Turns out once again I was on the wrong side of the plane! They need to make up their minds because in the past when I booked one side of the plane they said I was on the wrong side. Then the next time I book the other side and it is still wrong!! Anyway, after we finally got away from the ticket man we had to go through security and that took forever!! We barely made our plane. They were actually calling our names telling us we had two minutes or we would be out of luck!! Daddy was grumpy grumpy grumpy!!

I had a blast on the plane to Dallas. Then I got to ride the train! Then another plane to Miami! They took forever to let us off the plane in Miami. I finally said "rrrrrrready" and everyone laughed! I don't know why they laughed, I was tired of waiting to get off the plane. I got to run all around the Miami airport yelling "truck" and "jet" at all of them moving around. Mommy said that my legs needed to run off some pent up energy...so ran I did!! We got onto a smaller plane in Miami and flew to Key West. I had fun tearing up the plane. Mommy cautioned me about making too much of a fuss before the plane took off because she said if I was bad the plane would make me stay in Miami while everyone else went to the Keys. I was happy to land in Key West until I realized I was going to be stuck in the car for a while. We finally got to our hotel where I could play on the beach and stick my toes in the ocean and the pool! They were late feeding me so when we were on our way to dinner I kept telling Daddy "eat." I think he finally got the message because I finally got some food. I even got my food before everyone else!! I even got to taste some fried alligator. I was out cold by the time we got back to the hotel.

This morning I ran some errands with Daddy while Mommy, Aunt Key and Uncle Jar swam with the dolphins. I was asleep when Mommy called Daddy to come get them. Guess what though?? Mommy woke me up and told me look at the fish. Guess what?? I woke up and screamed "fiiiiiiiishhhh!" I was so excited to see all the fish!! There were dolphins everywhere! They all chattered at me and swam around. That was definitely worth waking up for!! I was going to meet a dolphin but they said I had to be three! That's okay though because Mommy promises that we will go back when I am old enough to meet the dolphin. Besides, who says you have to be three to have FUN!!! I even got a stuffed "fish" (dolphin) to take home with me. I love my fish and have been giving it lots of kisses and cookies!

Anyways, I guess I misunderstood what a vacation really is. Do you know that I have been sick on vacation? My knuckle headed parents made me go to the doctor today to get checked out since I have to fly home. ONE DOES NOT GO TO DOCTORS WHILE ON VACATION. Anyway, the doctor gave me a prescription for some antibiotics but he said to fill it only if I didn't get better with some over the counter stuff. He seems to think I will be okay but understands the concern since I am holding my ear and have yucky green stuff coming out of my nose.

I got to meet a doggy tonight. He is staying here too. I had fun chasing him on the beach. I wanted to give him a hug but Mommy says I cannot hug strange animals. The only "strange" animals I can give hugs to is Rufus and Sebastian. Anyway, that is my vacation so far. Mommy has taken tons of pictures of me already and will post some when we get home.

Oh yeah, I have taken my vacuum obsession to a new extreme. I am sitting here without a vacuum. Mommy showed Uncle Carl the video clip of me vacuuming and I went NUTS!!! Since I cannot vacuum myself it is very soothing to watch video clips of myself vacuuming over and over again. Mommy says I really really need to find a vacuum cleaners' anonymous program to enroll in. I can even operate the buttons on the computer myself to watch the video clip. I drove Mommy nuts watching the clip for thirty minutes straight!! By the way, I sure look good in film!!

P.S. My Joey and Aunt Lili....I wish you were here!! Uncle Fester thanks for checking on Sebastian and Rufus!

I Am Obnoxious!!!

2007-09-16T21:19:00.000-05:00

Yoo Hoo!! Mr. Elephant Where Are You???

Where Did He Go???

I have been a very busy boy this weekend. Mommy has decided that I am obnoxious about the vacuum cleaner. I insist that we vacuum all day long and throw tantrums when we don't!!! Mommy has decided that she would rather let me have tantrums than vacuum from dawn to dust. She will be singing a different tune in a few years when I refuse to do anything to help around here.

I got to see Grandpa Jim and Grandma Dale this weekend!! They came to see me. I put them in my house out back. I was nice though because I didn't shut the windows on them. They finally managed to escape when I went to try to get Mommy and put her in the house too. (Mommy refused to get put into the "Buddy House" she claims to be a tent person and not a house person) Anyway, I was exhausted from vacuuming and showing off for Grandpa Jim and Grandma Dale, Mommy turned her back on me for two whole minutes (Worry not, Grandma Dale had her eyes on me) and I laid face down on the living room floor and passed out cold. Mommy had to pry the "nanny" (banana---Duh! Sommer!) out of my hand and carry me off to my bed. Mommy said she should have taken a picture of me passed out with my nanny but she didn't think of it at the time. Apparently I am having the opposite problem than I had a few weeks ago. I woke up from my nap and Grandpa Jim and Grandma Dale were gone!! People are now disappearing while I sleep!! Auntie Kay (a/k/a Key) came by to see me. I showed her my vacuuming skills. Mommy wouldn't plug it in for me though because she was tired of hearing it.

Anyway, I got to see Aunt Patty and My Jessica today. I even called Aunt Patty Pat!! I helped Jessica clean but I think that she is starting to think like Mommy---that I am more of a nuisance than a helper. Oh well!!

Mommy, Daddy and me went to the Zoo this afternoon because they thought it would be the perfect day to go to the Zoo since it was so nice out. The plan was good but it was a little hotter than they thought. There weren't very many animals out today. Mommy says we need to make the Zoo a morning deal because they all seem to be out in the mornings and all the food machines are full of treats for me to give to the animals. I was kind of disappointed because the elephants were in their house so I couldn't see them that well. I did remember the soda machine over by the elephants!! Daddy wanted to get me some snacks from the vendor but I ran off and went to the soda machine instead!! Mommy was kind enough to put money in the machine for me and told me what button to push to get my orange pop. After I got my soda out of the machine, I went with Daddy to check out the food guy. Daddy got us a corn dog and a funnel cake!!! Yummy!!!

Well that is all for now. I have to get plenty of rest because I have a busy week coming up!!!

Picture Day!!!

2007-09-13T20:55:00.000-05:00

Today was picture day at the Baby Penitentiary. Mommy had me dressed very handsomely for my pictures. I am sure all of you are anxiously awaiting a brand spanking new picture of me. Well you all can KEEP WAITING!!!! Ha!!! I refused to have my picture taken! I threw an absolute fit about the prospect of having to sit still, look handsome, smile and get my picture taken. The wardens tried everything to get me to cooperate. They even tried trickery and deceit!! Don't they know that I am smarter than them??? The Head Warden was quick to tell on me when Mommy came to pick me up today. Mommy laughed and said "figures." Mommy told me that I wasn't very nice because now she is going to have to spend a billion dollars to take me to a real photographer to have my pictures taken rather than spend a half a billion getting me school pictures. She also says she is going to charge me the difference. Can she do that??

News Flash!!!

2007-09-09T15:50:00.001-05:00

I had to go potty this morning so Mommy took me to my potty. I didn't want to go on the baby potty so i made her take my stool to the big boy potty. Guess what??? I pottied like a man!! I stood on my stool and peed all over the commode. Mommy was so excited she started whooping and hollering! Since I peed like a man I ran like a baby because I thought I was in trouble for making a mess. I brought Daddy back to the potty so he could find out what Mommy was going on about. He was just as excited as Mommy. I clapped and clapped because I peed like a big boy!! Hooray for me!!!

The Return Of Joey!!!

2007-09-03T20:29:00.001-05:00

My Joey and Me!!! (We have the same hair!)

Joey and Me Calling Girls!!!

Mommy and Daddy seem to think it is fun to mess with my head!!! I went to bed last night and it was just Mommy, Daddy, Sebastian, Rufus and me. I woke up this morning and noticed there were people sleeping on my couch. I wasn't sure if I was just seeing things or not so I pointed them out to Daddy. Daddy took me back to the bedroom so I could have my milk but I didn't want to be there!!! I grabbed my milk and stormed back into the living room, climbed into the recliner and demanded Pablo. This is my house and my routine!!! Turns out it was My Joey and Aunt Lili (who fell asleep there). Mommy and Daddy chased them off to a proper bed before I threw a huge fit. Daddy and I then did our normal thing...well, at least after I insisted that Mommy and me have our morning "coffee" together. Daddy took me on a major breakfast bonanza today (having company has its perks). We went to Burger King to get my tater tots and Daddy's turbo coffee, to the doughnut shop and then to Wally Mart!!

I got to hang out with Mommy, Daddy, Uncle F.O. and Aunt Lili this morning. So when I woke up from my nap I got really really angry because there were even more people in my house. People multiplied like gremlins!!! Joey was awake, Jesse came out of the man cave, Uncle Fester, Aunt Patty, Jessica and Ryan were there! I threw a big fit because I wasn't sure about having ended the day yesterday with my usual people, waking up the next morning with four more people and then waking up from my nap to discover four more people! I wasn't even happy about seeing My Jessica...that's how mad I was. Aunt Lili said that if she didn't witness my tantrum she never would have believed that I was capable of it.

Anyway, after a while I realized that the "more the merrier" is actually a good thing. I had a blast with My Joey! I got to go "weeeeeeeee" and play basketball with him. My Joey is the coolest cousin ever because while no one else would let me play with their phones, he let me use his phone for a long long time. He was trying to teach me how to say "lamborfeeti" (my current mode of transport--and apparently his too) but it was a little beyond my capability. I got to play with Ryan too. I have not seen Ryan for ages!! She played a whole lot with me. She eventually broke down and let me play with her phone too! Jesse was mean to me. He kept trying to fight with me and he wouldn't let me give him a kiss. He said guys don't kiss guys. Dude--I am not even two yet so I can kiss who ever I want--well unless they are my penitentiary buddies...then wouldn't be cool! Mommy tells me that is why Joey is our favorite because he doesn't try to fight me and let's me kiss him! (Just Kidding Jesse!!) Uncle Fester "loaded" me up with Mountain Dew again! I don't think that Mommy even bothers to get irritated about that anymore.

Well everyone went home tonight. I sure was nice to see everyone again! Mommy says that none of them will probably ever come back since I had such a fit. I had to remind Mommy that I was on my best behavior when they all left so everyone got to go home on a good note!! Well, I am exhausted it has been a busy busy weekend!!

Return of the Zooligan!!!

2007-09-02T21:02:00.000-05:00

I Can't Believe That She Is Making Us Do This!!!

(Daddy is the happiest sunflower I will ever meet.)

This Goat Is Just A Tad Bit Pushy!!!

I Am Not Too Sure About These Wanna Be Horses!!!

What A Day!!! Mommy woke up before me today! I should have known something was up since she was up before me!! When she put me in the car this morning I got really angry because I thought we were going to the Baby Penitentiary. Mommy assured me that it was Sunday and I didn't have to go to the clink today! Instead, we went and got some doughnuts and we went to Wally Mart!! I got to eat my doughnut at Wally Mart. Guess what I got?? I got a brand new basketball set at Wally Mart!!! I can slam dunk now!!!

Anyway, we let Daddy sleep in for a little bit but Mommy finally told me to go get him because we had stuff to do! Guess where we went??? That's right, we went to the ZOO!!! I got to yell at the elephants (they are my favorite), feed the fish, feed the goats, feed the sheep, feed the wanna be horses, laugh at the apes, roar at the Tigers and ride the train! Mommy says we were Shanghaied on the train because it wasn't worth the money for the ride! I made other people on the train laugh because I clapped and yelled "yay" when Mommy told me we were bamboozled!!! Mommy got us a family pass so we can go to the Zoo every day if we feel like it!! I have a feeling that Mommy isn't going to let me ride the train again. That's just as well because I would rather use my train fare to feed the animals!!!!

I got to see My Jessica, Uncle Fester and Aunt Patty tonight! Aunt Kay even stopped by to say hi!! Rumor has it that my Uncle F.O., Aunt Lili, Jesse and My Joey will be here when I wake up! I guess I will have to wait and see!! If they do come to see me, it will be the perfect end to a perfect weekend! Wish me luck!!

Road Trip!!!

2007-09-01T20:59:00.000-05:00

Do As I Say---Now!!!

Here Fishey Fishey Fishey!!!

Can You Believe Aunt Kay Made Me Vacuum Her House???

Mommy, Daddy and Me went on a road trip today to Hot Springs to see Aunt Kay's new house and Uncle Carl's new house!! I had a blast!! I got to vacuum Aunt Kay's house with a shiny new red vacuum.!!! I also got to look at the fish in the lake. After we left Aunt Kay's house we headed over to Uncle Carl's new house. He has all kinds of steps for me to climb!! We went down to the lake at his house too!! I got to look for more fish!! Mommy, Aunt Kay and Uncle Carl all tried to convince me to jump in the lake and go swimming. Are they nuts??? Don't they realize that I am just getting comfortable with the pool. Like I am going to just go off and jump into the lake!!

Daddy bought me my very own rocking chair from the Cracker Barrel! I loved sitting in the rocking chair so much because it is just my size. I would not leave the porch of the restaurant or get out of the chair until Daddy returned with a receipt in his hand so that the chair could go home with me. Mommy is just glad that it wasn't a puppy!!

They Are Torturing Me!!!

2007-08-30T21:23:00.000-05:00

My parents are MEAN to me!!! I have been sick for the last two days and they are not making my life any easier! Mommy has decided that if I want something I am going to have to say please. Can you believe that I am no longer allowed to just grab her by the hand and take her where I want??? She actually refuses to go unless I say please! She has really lost her mind because she has ordered everyone to make me say please before my demands are met! Doesn't she know that I am not feeling well and she shouldn't pick this time to demand that I learn to say please! Then last night I woke up at 1:30 a.m. and wanted to party. I partied with Daddy until 3 when I grew bored of Daddy and got Mommy. I kept asking for juice and when she would ask me if I wanted juice I would say "no." Anyway, she wouldn't get me juice so finally I had to say "Please" and drag her off with me and pointed at my cups and said "juice." Mommy actually lectured me and told me that I should not have told her "no" when she asked me if I wanted juice because I am perfectly capable of saying "yes." Well all I can say is that I wouldn't have asked for juice in the first place if I didn't want it. She also mentioned that I am not allowed to get out of bed in the middle of the night because it is not fun or funny at all. Will someone PLEASE tell her to give me a break???

Mommy and Daddy really aren't being nice to me. I mean really!! Mommy and Daddy loaded me up this morning giving me the impression that I was going to work. Can you believe that they took me to get a CAT scan?? That experience was sheer TORTURE!!! They strapped me down, taped me down, bundled me up, weighted me down and pinned me down!! I was absolutely furious!! Once they liberated me, the lady told Mommy that I couldn't leave yet because they have to make sure that the scan was good because I might have to do it over. Mommy actually gave her a dirty look about that. I really think that Mommy would have hollered at her if I had to do my test over because they shouldn't have liberated me before knowing whether or not the pictures were good and it would have been too mean to have to pin me up again! Anyway, the lady gave me a beanie baby and a weeble wobble for being such a good boy. Daddy grabbed the weeble wobble for me because he thought I might throw it at the lady and it could hurt!! I did get to go to work after that so I could tell Aunt Kay and Uncle Carl about my ordeal.

This afternoon I had to go to my regular doctor for my fever and wheeziness. We were there forever and a day!! I flirted with a girl today (sorry Jessica, I can't help myself)! Guess what, the girl was real nice to me. Mommy told me I had to work on my techniques because tooting in front of a girl you are flirting with is not too cool. The girl's Mommy told Daddy that I have a lot of energy. Daddy told her "yeah, and he is actually not operating at full speed because he's sick." That lady pitied Daddy and Mommy!

Anyway, the doctor took forever to see me. The nurse finally brought me a juice that Daddy ended up squirting in my face, on the door and floor because he didn't listen to Mommy when she told him not to touch it. I wasn't too happy with Daddy and neither was Mommy. I didn't say anything to Daddy about it because Mommy spoke for the two of us. Anyway, my cat scan results made it there today. I got the all clear on my head. The doctor gave me some medicine for my sinuses. He said that if I am still having headaches he may send me to a head doctor. He can't find the source of my headaches but isn't too worried because they are brief and I am otherwise happy and energetic.

Well that is all for now!!

School Rivalry!!

2007-08-27T18:57:00.000-05:00

I had a great weekend! I got to go to Little Rock with Mommy and Daddy this weekend to check out this new "meat store." I had fun trying to pull the apples from the apple pile at the store. Mommy told me that she didn't think management would appreciate me plopping their apple piles onto the floor so she made me stop. The carts were so new and tricky Mommy and Daddy couldn't get me out, so Mommy laughed and told me I might have to stay. When you are good you are good, I got a lady driving a corvette to help me out of my predicament. I didn't even cry!!

I still love to go swimming! Mommy is trying her best to get me to go swimming wearing clothes. She almost has me broke of the au natural. I got to see MY Jessica, Uncle Fester and Aunt Patty yesterday. I was swimming au natural until Jessica laughed at me because I didn't have any clothes on. So what is a self respecting guy to do?? I made Uncle Fester put my diaper on for me!! My Jessica bought me a present--I got a "Future Bryant Hornet In Training" shirt with my name on back! I love my present. I even wore it to Wally Mart (that's what I call it--it's true...I can say it!!) That's where the problem lies. If Mommy and Daddy don't get me a bigger house somewhere (so that all my future toys have plenty of room) I will be going to Benton High--Not Bryant. Bryant is the rival school. My neighbor was at Wally Mart and asked me why on earth I was wearing a hornet shirt because I am going to be a panther!!! Mommy explained that my girlfriend got it for me so I had to wear it and will switch to Panther attire when I ditch Jessica for a Panther girl. Mommy tells me that she is going to send me to the Baby Penitentiary on Friday wearing my shirt to get a rise out of everyone.

I am making great strides in staying at the Baby Penitentiary. I didn't cry but for a few seconds today with Mommy dropped me off with Warden Kristy. When Mommy came to get me today the head warden rushed up to her and told her I had been crying for the past 15 minutes, not because my head was hurting me, but because Warden Kristy left for the day. Mommy thinks Warden Kristy had some nerve leaving for the day. I AGREE!!!

Now to the headaches....Daddy noticed a week ago that I would hold my head sometimes and say "ow." Mommy, Daddy and the Wardens have been monitoring it. The doctor said last week to bring me back in if I kept acting like I was having headaches. Mommy and Daddy took me back to the doctor last Friday because I kept having them all week...not big ones...just a minute or two and then I was fine again. Anyway, the doctor is sending me to have my head examined by a cat scan to make sure everything is okay. I don't understand why I have to go...I get cat scans everyday from Rufus and Sebastian!! The doctor seems to think I am fine but he just wants to make sure.

Well that's all for now!! Go Panthers!!! Oops! I mean go Jessica!!

I DID IT!!!

2007-08-23T22:15:00.000-05:00

I DID IT!!!!

I amaze myself sometimes! There I was playing nicely in the backyard spraying Mommy and Daddy's feet with the hose when Mommy asked if I wanted to get my feet wet too. Heck, it was hot so I decided to let her do my feet too. Then it occurred to me...if water from the hose can feel that good, then the pool must feel even better. So what is a boy to do? I jumped right into my pool!!! Mommy would have taken pictures but I quickly decided that "Au natural" would be best. Anyway, I had an absolute blast playing in my pool. I don't know why I was so adverse to the pool to begin with. Oh yeah, Mommy and Daddy didn't make too big of a deal out of me getting into the pool at first because they were trying hard to act like it wasn't a big deal so I didn't change my mind about it just to be difficult . Anyhow, I think I may give the pool thing another try tomorrow and I might even be decent so Mommy can take pictures. I can't wait to tell Warden Kristy that I finally did it. I am sure she won't believe me. (Mommy assures me that she will tell Warden Kristy to not push her luck on Splash Day and just let me do things on my own terms and at my own speed!)

Well that is my big news. Oh yeah, My Joey...want to come swimming in MY POOL?? Mommy says she will even put fresh water in the pool since I had peed in it!!!

They Call Me Ivan the Terrible!!

2007-08-21T19:41:00.000-05:00

I should have known something was up when Mommy and me did not leave for school at the normal time. Seems Daddy and Mommy felt the need to take me to the doctor to have my head examined. I have been acting like my head hurt for the past few days so they took me to see my doctor. I let the doctor use his stethoscope on me but that was all I was willing to let him do. Mommy assured me this time that she wouldn't let him snatch me away from her. She kept her word and made him tell her when he wanted me in a different position. He got to see just how strong I am!! I am pretty sure that both of us were happy that I left!

Daddy took me to the Baby Penitentiary after we left the doctor's office. I thought we were going to the office but that didn't happen. I threw an absolute fit at the Baby Penitentiary. Everyone was watching a movie and I caused complete chaos because Daddy left me there. I banged and banged on the windows hollering for Daddy. I wouldn't let any of the Wardens try to calm me down. Since they didn't seem to understand that I didn't want to stay there I started kicking the doors! I kept my shenanigans up for almost an hour before they decided they better call Mommy and Daddy. Daddy came and got me but I was sleeping when he got there because I wore myself out. Mommy was quite happy that I was asleep when Daddy got there because she seems to think that I would have been able to put two and two together and pull the tantrum fit out of my hat everyday. I really rattled my Wardens and I seem to think that they were happy to see me go too! Warden Kristy says I can come back and felt bad that she couldn't comfort me or make me see the fun in staying at the Baby Penitentiary today. Don't they understand that when I get into Daddy's truck I am suppose to go to work???

Daddy and I hanged out at the house all afternoon and waited for Mommy to get home. Mommy didn't think my shenanigans was very cute. Oh well. I can't always toe the line! The good news is that I really do get to go to work tomorrow. Mommy assures me that I am going to work tomorrow because she says I can and not because I want to. She also assures me that I will be going back to the Baby Penitentiary on Thursday and I am going to act happy to be there!

Just Call Me Cinderfella!!!

2007-08-19T13:21:00.000-05:00

Are They Nuts??? They Are Making Me Vacuum!!!

As If Making Me Vacuum Wasn't Enough!!

Okay, I need a little help here!!! My parents have gone absolutely nuts. They seem to think that since I feel I am old enough to make a mess then I am old enough to help clean it up!! What do they think I am, a slave??? I need a lawyer NOW!!! This kind of behavior must violate some child labor law somewhere!!

Well I got to go to dinner last night with Mommy and Daddy. We went to have dinner with Ms. Leigh Ann, Mr. Stacy, Megan, Abigail and Grace. I tried to scold Megan for leaving her seat but she didn't seem to care about my input into the matter. Abigail and Grace are little bitty babies. Mommy says I was almost as small as them once upon a time but I don't believe her. Mommy says I was also sweet like them once upon a time....Well I definitely don't believe that! I had a blast being a little tyrant in the restaurant. Mommy finally took me outside and made me stay there. I tried to go back in the restaurant but Mommy told me that NO ONE would be happy to see me return so I had to stay outside and burn off some excess energy.

After dinner Mommy, Daddy and I went to the grocery store. I was such a good boy in there. The lady in front of us at the check out told Mommy that I was a little chatterbox and a very good boy at Starbuck's the other morning. Mommy said thank you but I don't think Mommy really believed her. Mommy told me later that I spend too much time at Starbucks if they are able to identify me at Wally World.

I am hanging out with Mommy and Daddy today. Aunt Kay is suppose to come see me today. I can't wait to tell her that I helped Mommy clean!!

Well that's all for now!! Oh yeah, Dude or My Joey---Help!!!

I Am Turning Into A Chatter Box!!!

2007-08-14T20:51:00.000-05:00

Mommy says that I am turning into quite the little chatter box. I am learning more new words every day. Well actually, Mommy and Daddy are learning that I know more new words every day. I have always known them, I just chose not to say them.

Aunt Patty and My Jessica came to see me Sunday. I even got to hang out with My Jessica all day Sunday. I was so happy about her being there that I actually called her Jessica!! Uncle Fester came to visit with me too. I got to eat some of his pizza. Daddy and I had guys night Sunday because Mommy was out on girls night---Aunt Lili was with Mommy too. Can you believe that Aunt Lili didn't insist that I go to girls night too!!! That's okay though, it would probably make me a sissy boy if I went out on girls night.

Daddy took me to the Baby Penitentiary yesterday. Mommy wasn't too happy with my outfit when she saw me when I got home. She had a little talk with Daddy about his fashion sense. I went to work with Daddy today. We let Mommy sleep in because its her birthday. Fortunately for me, Mommy woke up in time to rescue me from yet another fashion nightmare!! Mommy can't really blame Daddy because she should have remembered to set an outfit out for me so Daddy wouldn't have to try to decide what I needed to wear.

Well that's all for now. Oh yeah....Has anyone seen My Joey???

Busy Social Calendar!!

2007-08-06T20:34:00.000-05:00

I finally kicked my illness!! Mommy and Daddy were still worried about me Wednesday. Daddy took care of me Wednesday morning. I didn't want anything he offered me to eat or drink. I finally asked him for some cheetos. Guess what??? He actually gave me some. Daddy was worried that Mommy would be mad at him for letting me eat cheetos when I haven't had anything else in my tummy. Guess what?? Mommy wasn't mad at all. She told Daddy that when ever I am sick I get to say what I want to eat because all that matters is that I have stuff that makes me happy. Daddy felt better about that. Before I took my nap I asked him for a yogurt. That made him feel even better. Mommy came home at lunch time to take care of me so Daddy could go to work. She got lucky because I was well into my nap when she got home. Mommy says that I must have sweated out all the germs in my sleep because I was cured when I woke up. That's right, cured!! I wanted milk and a man's meal!

Since I was feeling better Mommy and Daddy decided to go ahead and let me hang out with Uncle Fester, Aunt Patty and My Jessica that evening while Mommy and Daddy went out to dinner for their anniversary. I had a blast over there! Jessica took me to the playground so I could "weeeeee" for a while. I even got to hang out and watch Pablo with Jessica in her room!!! Aunt Patty went and got me a happy meal! I just love chicken nuggets!!! Mommy and Daddy didn't stay gone long enough!

Saturday I went to Grandpa Jim and Grandma Dale's house. Guess who was there?? My Aunt Terri, Uncle Tom and cousins Jake and Brooke were there!!! I even got to see Mr. Larry and Ms. Sandy (I haven't seen them since I was a baby). Mr. Jerry and Ms. Sarah were there too! I wasn't very nice to everyone. Grandma Dale didn't have her Pablo player working so I didn't see the need to be nice to anyone. Grandma Dale says that Daddy and me can't come back until I am 16 years old. FINE!!! She'll be missing me!! She finally changed her mind and said I can come back. I am not going to change my mind until she gets a new Pablo player!

Yesterday I got to play with my biological siblings. My biological family came over for a visit and I had a blast playing with everyone. I wasn't too sure about everyone playing with my stuff at first. At least no one tried to play with my vacuum. I would have had to show them the door because every boy has to have his limits--my vacuum is mine!

Sebastian, Rufus and I are entering new territory. It is now my job to give them their treats. I just love giving them treats. Rufus seems to be getting more treats that Sebastian because Sebastian doesn't trust me enough to let me get close enough to let me give him his treats. Mommy finally gets tired of me chasing Sebastian down to give him treats so she tells me to give them to Rufus. Mommy is convinced that Sebastian is eventually going to figure out that it is not a trap!!

It was back to business this morning. I was so exhausted from my busy busy weekend that I really didn't want to get out of bed but Mommy made me! Well that is all for now!!!

I Have Ruined My Healthy Streak!!

2007-07-31T19:49:00.001-05:00

After a few months of being healthy, I am sick!!! Mommy woke up last night and noticed I was very very hot so she got me up to give me some Tylenol. I didn't want the Tylenol so I sent it right back at Mommy and Daddy--well some of it anyway. Daddy took care of me this morning instead of Mommy. He was taking me to Kay Care when I decided to projectile vomit in the car. He decided Kay Care wouldn't be the right thing to do, so Mommy came home to take care of me.

Can you believe it that Mommy made me go to the doctor because my tummy got upset again and my fever won't quit??? Anyway, the doctor and me made great strides this visit. I didn't scream at him when he put the stethoscope on me. Mommy was quite impressed with my new found big boy bravery. Yeah, well the bravery lasted about as long as it took for him to snatch me right out of Mommy's arms. He had me well before Mommy and I could even have time to react. I let him know that I was MAD!!! Mommy promises to work on her reaction time in order to prevent Buddy snatchings in the future!

Guess what I got?? I got the newest Pablo DVD and Pablo bedding while we were filling my prescription at Target. Mommy is convinced that I really really don't feel well because I didn't want to watch my new Pablo or any other Pablo today or have much of an appetite. I just need to cuddle with Mommy in order to feel better (Daddy too but he doesn't cuddle as well as Mommy). Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.

I Have A Hugemongous Play Gym!!!

2007-07-29T20:15:00.000-05:00

Daddy and Uncle Fester were extremely busy all weekend assembling my play gym! I felt real bad for them because it was really really hot outside. I tried to help them as much as a I could but I am a white collar type of boy and I don't like to get all hot and sweaty so I would ditch them to go back into the nice cool house and relax by watching Pablo. I did manage to break Daddy's level. Daddy wasn't too happy with me. Mommy on the other hand had to smile because she hates Daddy's levels. Anyway, Daddy and Uncle Fester finished my gym up today and I must say it is absolutely perfect in its construction!! I can climb up into and down from y fort all by myself. I even have a curly slide so I can make a quick get away from my fort!!! Uncle Fester says I cheat on the rock wall though. Thanks Daddy and Uncle Fester for putting up my gym!

Construction Begins--I am helping Uncle Fester and Daddy build
my play gym!!

My Jessica and me trying out the glider!

Construction phase complete!! Daddy doesn't understand that I am
a big boy and can get on the swing myself!

Let the swinging begin!!!

So what has been going on with me lately??? I got bit by some bratty girl at school! She bit me right on the back of my leg...almost as if she were trying to bite out my Achilles tendon. Mommy wonders if I turned around and kicked her right in her bratty mouth. Hmmm....nobody knows and I won't tell.

I went to visit Grandpa Jim and Grandma Dale last weekend. I had a blast seeing them. I was practicing my jumping skills with Grandma Dale. Grandpa Jim played with me a lot. I started a new fun game with him. Every time I wanted to do something that Grandpa Jim didn't want me to do I had to look around for him and make sure we made eye contact and smiled before I did it! It was a blast because Grandpa Jim would pretend to be made at me! Mommy kept moving things though because she was afraid that I really would get into trouble! Can you believe that Grandma Dale wasn't at all happy about having to watch Pablo over and over again! You would think that she would have missed watching Pablo. Pablo obviously had an effect on her because she remembered most of the Backyardigans' names from my previous visit!! Mommy still blames Grandma Dale for my "Pablo Problem" since Grandma Dale was the one who brought Pablo into my life!!

As you can tell, My Jessica came to see me this weekend (unlike some people, namely My Joey). I got to follow her all around. Aunt Patty eventually came to take My Jessica away from me. I also got to impress Uncle Fester, Aunt Patty and Jessica with my ability to read. That's right, you read it right. I can read...well sort of. Mommy starts reading the sentence and I finish her sentence with the appropriate word! What can I say, I am a genius.

Uncle Fester says that my fort has sissy flags on it. That's okay though because Mommy says when we go to Florida we can get me some pirate flags to hang on my fort. I will have to watch the Pablo the Pirate episodes so I can properly say "Arrrr" before we hang my pirate flags! I get to go hang out with Uncle Fester this Wednesday while Daddy and Mommy ditch me to go to dinner. That' s okay though because I am going to have loads of fun destroying everything in Uncle Fester's house!! Well everything but Jessica's stuff...it wouldn't be very nice of me to tinker with her belongings!!! Well that is all for now!! Thanks again Uncle Fester!!

I Am A Genius!!!

2007-07-17T21:18:00.000-05:00

Okay, it has been a while since my secretary has updated everyone on my happenings, so here goes...

I have been having to stay at the Baby Penitentiary later in the day. Seems Mommy has to work thirty minutes later each day this month so I get stuck in the Baby Penitentiary thirty minutes longer. Mommy finds me standing at the window looking for her every day!! I may be little but I know what time Mommy should be coming to collect me. Mommy assures me though that I will never be forgotten and left at the Baby Penitentiary!! However, there is a plus to this arrangements. I don't have to spend any time with Warden Creepy!!! I get to jump straight into Warden Kristy's arms each morning. She is the best Warden in the world!!! She always has my toast and juice ready for me!!

As you may remember, Aunt Patty, Jessica and Mommy were helping me get ready for "Splash Day" earlier this month. I had an absolute blast at Splash Day!!! Warden Kristy ratted me out to Mommy though...I wouldn't go in the pool. I stayed outside of the pool to splash and ran through the sprinkler. Apparently the Head Warden decided that Splash Day was too much trouble and banned my class from having any more splash days. Warden Kristy was mad about the decision. Apparently all the Mommies and Daddies were too because the Head Warden backed down and we get to do Splash Day again!! Hooray for Splash Day (it's this coming Thursday)!!!

Now for the genius episode. Last night I was playing with Mommy in my tent in the living room when I noticed Sebastian and Rufus sitting in the tent in my room. I wanted to hold them really really bad but I knew that they would run if I approached them. So I casually walked into my room and collapsed part of the tunnel so they couldn't leave from there. Then I casually walked back into the living room to Mommy. Mommy, Sebastian and Rufus all sat in their respective tents wondering what I was up to. A few moments later I walked casually back into my room. My toy basket was sitting right outside the side entrance to the tent. So turned my back on the entrance and casually acted like I was looking for something to play with. Once Sebastian and Rufus had enough time to come to the conclusion that I wasn't going to do anything I turned and gleefully dove right into the tent with them. They tried to run out of the tunnel but found that I had sealed of their escape route. They had to let me cuddle!! Mommy laughed so hard about this. Mommy told me that my planning and execution were absolutely flawless! What can I say, I am an absolute genius!!

I am going to see Grandpa Jim and Grandma Dale this weekend because it's Grandma Dale's birthday. Daddy is almost done with the construction of my playground. Mommy told me today that my gym is suppose to be delivered tomorrow. Hopefully Daddy and Uncle Fester will get around to assembling it for me while I am still young enough to want to use it. Also, I am going to bring my playhouse home from the office because Daddy has a spot in the backyard that will be perfect for it.

Well that is all for now. Oh yeah, Aunt Lili and want My Joey and you to come see me!!!

Happy Fourth of July!!!

2007-07-04T21:00:00.001-05:00

Don't Laugh At My Farmer's Tan!!!

Splish Splash!!!

I went to work yesterday and I had a blast playing with Auntie Kay and Uncle Carl. Uncle Carl and I were playing in the elevator yesterday afternoon when we got down to the ground floor. Guess what happened?? Mommy was standing there smiling as soon as the door opened!!! Ha! I knew she was coming that's why I dragged Uncle Carl into the elevator to play. That's my story and I am sticking to it!!

I didn't have to babysit Uncle Fester last night after all. Uncle Fester, Aunt Patty and Jessica came over today though. Uncle Fester got into my tent so I threw balls at him for invading my space! Aunt Patty and Jessica helped me get over my fear of the pool. Mommy bought me a baby pool because I am afraid of the big pool this year (go figure!). It took Aunt Patty and Jessica a while but eventually I was soaked from head to toe and had a blast doing it!!

Tomorrow is Splash Day at school so now that I completed pool therapy Mommy is hoping that I will have a blast at school tomorrow. Mommy seems to think that I will succumb to peer pressure and not even hesitate to splash and have a good time! Only time will tell.