Easter Egg Hunting--The Practice Session!!

Bella ( 4 1/2 months) and Zachary (3 1/2 years)

Who Can Dig Fastest??

I had a great weekend!! Mommy and Daddy took me to a practice session of Easter Egg hunting by taking me to the Clinton library's annual Easter Egg hunt. Daddy got into trouble (as usual) because he told me we were going to find eggs and throw them at the Easter Bunny. Mommy was very upset with Daddy when I woke up Saturday morning and told Mommy we had to hurry up so we could go throw eggs at the Easter Bunny. Mommy quickly and sternly explained to me that we were not to throw anything at the Easter Bunny. Daddy got a good lecture about planting ideas into my impressionable little brain. Shame on him!!!

I was real excited to go to the great Easter Egg hunt. There were eggs everywhere!! I was only allowed to have six eggs so there would be enough eggs for all the other kids. I was more than happy to abide by the rules. Shame on all those scoundrels that took more than their share!! Their parents are pathetic!!! We waited in line to get our picture taken with the Easter Bunny but when it was finally our turn, I decided that the Easter Bunny was the creepiest thing I have ever seen and let it be known that I would throw an absolute FIT if anyone got the wise idea to place me on his lap. Mommy thought about it but decided that I was scaring all of the other kids so she didn't make me face my fear of the Easter Bunny. Whew!! Naturally, I got my choo-choo ride before we left. I just love riding the choo-choo!!

I finally got Mommy to replace the bubble lawn mower she ran over last year. I picked it up off the shelf at Wally Mart and gave Mommy a look that said "you owe me." Mommy told me that it was my fault that she ran over it because I didn't put it where it belonged and then said let that be a lesson to me. I think that should be a lesson for her!!! She also got me an airplane that flew all over the place. Daddy doesn't like it very much because he had to keep going up on the roof to fetch it! Maybe we will try it out when it is not as windy!!

Today, I got to have breakfast with Grandpa Len and Granny Bev. I finally had to give them hugs and kisses because the gave me something for my piggy bank! Thanks you two!! This afternoon Daddy and I went on a special mission. I have been begging for weeks to try out the playground at Burger King. Since I have been a real good boy, Daddy took me to try it out.

Well that was my weekend!

Aunt Patty Yelled At Me!!!

Sorry folks, my secretary sure is lazy! Nothing really happened last month that was notable enough to get my secretary back on the job. Mainly just school, play, sleep, and repeat.

Guess what I got?? I got two "pink" choo-choos and some aquarium choo-choos!!! I really wanted a pink choo-choo. I had told Sommer on the phone that I wanted a pink choo-choo. She said okay but the next day I still didn't have my pink choo-choo. So I told Mommy that these two guys had taken my tree and my presents. I was real convincing. I also told Mommy that one of the presents that was taken was my pink choo-choo (the other was my BIG BIG pink bridge). Mommy was really impressed with my ability to fabricate a very detailed story. She questioned me about it over the next couple of days and I stuck to my story. I eventually identified the two guys as Uncle Fester and Dadddy. I don't think they appreciate my pink phase. In any event, Sommer and her Mommy got me the choo-choos. Thanks you two!!!! I love my pink choo-choos!!

I got to go on a sleep over last Saturday and Uncle Fester, Aunt Patty, Ryan, Jessica and Dexter's house because Mommy and Daddy went to a wedding. I had a blast over there chasing my buddy Dexter and playing video games--I got to play the drums!!! Aunt Patty hurt my feelings though. I was busy yelling at her and I wouldn't stop when she asked me to, so she told me that she could scream louder than me and was willing to do it if I didn't stop screaming. Guess what--she can scream louder than me!!! Guess I won't try the screaming tactic again with Aunt Patty!!! Dude was a bed hog and he snores--even louder than Aunt Patty can scream!

Bella had doggy lessons but if you ask me, the lessons aren't sticking! That's okay though because she is my digging buddy. We like trying to dig our way to China in the sand out back. I am not sure what we will do when we get there but I think we have time to decide what to do!

Well that is all for now!

Zachary 1: Two Nurses 0, Dr. Nolen 0, Mommy 0 and Spectator Nurse 0!!!

In keeping with the pattern I have developed the past few months, I spent the last weekend of February with a high fever and found myself being transported to the doctor's office on the first Monday of the month. I tried to convince Mommy all weekend that I wasn't sick and that I needed to go to the choo-choo. Mommy tried to tell me that she decides when I am sick, not me. She also added that the thermometer does not lie and I was sick whether I own up to it or not.

Mommy was quite humored with the conversation in the car on the way there. She noticed a big change in my facial expression when I realized we were in the wrong lane as we passed Starbucks and Target. Seems the look of dread came upon my face. I asked Mommy where we were going and she had the nerve to tell me "somewhere." As she turned the corner I started crying and screaming "I can't go that way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Seems I have a good memory and sense of direction because the road she was turning on crossed the interstate and led straight to the doctor's office! Can you believe that Mommy dragged me in there kicking and screaming! Oh wait, so maybe it wasn't dragged...I am too lazy to be dragged, so she carried me!!

I must admit that I should have been more cooperative with the doctor because she remembered seeing me on the "yellow choo-choo" but I can't help myself. What ever progress I made with the doctors went out the window with my visit to Dr. Derek. It took Mommy, two nurses and a spectator nurse to hold me down so Dr. Nolen could pry my mouth open to get a good look at my throat. It took a while but Dr. Nolen finally was able to pry my teeth off of her tongue depressor and pry my mouth open to get a good peek at my throat. It took several other attempts for everyone to pin me down long enough to get a throat swab done. I think the spectator nurse was too afraid of me to jump into the mix. I have news for her, she should be!! Turns out I have strep throat...AGAIN! Also, Dr. Nolen assures Mommy that it is purely coincidental that I am having problems the same time of the month every month.

Anyway, Mommy had a talk with me about my doctor/dentist antics. She is trying to convince me that I am only making the situation worse by fighting the process. I don't think so!! Everyone just needs to stay out of my mouth and leave me alone!!

Californ-I-A Here I Come!!!

Everything is A-OK with Zachary At the Controls!!!

I Picked Up This Chickee-Poo At Legoland!!!

Come Here Little Fishy!!!

Guess Who I Bumped Into At Legoland----Lizzybeth!!!

I Can Out Run the Ocean!!!

Daddy and Me At The Beach!!!

Guess where I went??? I went on a BIG BIG airplane all the way to California for a long long weekend!!!! Mommy and Daddy kept telling me I was going to go on airplane and they didn't lie!!! I got to go on a mini-vacation and Rufus and Pop-Pop had to stay home all by themselves! Bella had to go take care of Uncle Carl because unlike Rufus and Pop-Pop, Bella can't be trusted to not destroy the house. I hear that Bella had a blast with Uncle Carl. Thanks Uncle Carl!!

Well Bella may have had a blast with Uncle Carl, I had a bigger blast on my vacation! I got to go to see Grandma Lily and her husband. I showed Grandma just how big and sweet I am! I wasn't too sure about her husband but I didn't feel too bad because the Grandpa slots are already full!! He was nice to me though and he takes good care of Grandma Lily, so I guess he is okay!! I was exhausted after my busy day and I fell asleep within minutes of leaving Grandma's house and being strapped into my "bucket" in the car.

The next day Mommy and Daddy took me to Legoland! I had a blast riding the rides and playing in the water (Mommy wasn't too pleased that Daddy let me do the latter since I was crying about having wet shoes and socks). Guess who I saw at Legoland?? Lizzybeth!!! I spied her from 50 yards away and took off running into her arms. I hugged her and hugged her. Daddy didn't think I would remember her but Mommy knew I would! Mommy is pretty sure that I marked her with my scent and like a "dog", I never forget my own scent! It was super fantastic seeing Lizzybeth again. She needs to come to my house to see me again. She claims she will and I am going to hold her to that.

On Sunday we went to Sea World. I have to say that Sea World was horrible!! This whale spit on me, which really made me MAD!!! That whale can just stick a choo-choo up his blow hole for spitting on me. I should be mad at Mommy because I suspect that she knew it was going to happen and didn't do anything to stop it. I can't be mad at Mommy though---even if she did laugh!! Daddy and Mommy have decided that I am a thrill ride boy, not a sit and watch silly pet tricks type of boy so they will be very reluctant to waste money on mainly sitting theme parks in the future. That suits me just fine because I will always feel the need for speed!!

As promised, Mommy took me on a choo-choo while we were there. I think Daddy failed in his Daddy duties though because he moved over so what appeared to be a homeless guy could sit down next to us....now that was RUDE!!! Mommy was glad that I had enough sense to move! I threw a huge fit after we got off the train because I wanted to get on the BIG BIG train that was at the station next to the trolley but Mommy wouldn't let me. I am not sure I will ever recover from being told "No". Mommy did promise thought that the next time we go to California she will take me on the BIG BIG train that goes up the coast. I suspect she may have made that promise hoping that the next time we go I have cycled out of my choo-choo obsession.

We went home on Monday. This time Mommy let me sit in the airplane seat like a big boy rather than in my bucket! I did great on the way home seated like a big boy. I think Mommy only let me sit like that so: (a) they didn't have to lug my bucket through the airport and (b) so I would not have the reach to kick the seat of the person sitting in front of me. (Okay, so maybe I annoyed the guy in front of me the whole the way to California but he couldn't have been too annoyed because he never said anything---he didn't even give me a dirty look!)

Well that was my latest adventure!!!

Zachary 1: Ms. Stacy 0; Ms. Amanda 0; Bella 0 and Dr. Derek 0

Happy late Valentine's Day everyone!!! I had a great Valentine's Day!!! I got all kinds of goodies from Mommy and Daddy. I also got to have TWO DATES on Valentine's Day. I got to hang out with my two bestest babes Ryan and Jessica!!! I wanted to go on Mommy and Daddy's date with them but they told me "No Way Jose!!" Just as well because I think having two beautiful girls as my dates on Valentine's Day beat hanging out with Mommy and Daddy!!

I got more presents from Aunt Kay and Uncle Carl on Sunday. They stopped by to trade Valentine's cards with me. I managed to get two bags full of goodies from them. They are the best godparents a boy could ever have! Thanks you two!!

I got a note sent home with me last week because I have been incorrigible at school!!! I have been being a really rowdy boy and not doing anything Ms. Stacy and Ms. Amanda ask me to do nor do I listen to either of them. Mommy says that I have to be a good boy and not hit people. However, Mommy doesn't feel too sorry for the baby Wardens for me not listening because I don't listen to her either.

Bella and I seem to be getting along better nowadays but ever now and then I have to lord over Bella with an iron fist. She can be extremely bossy and pushy and there is only room for one bossy and pushy tyrant in this house---ME!! I have mastered the art of grabbing her by the collar and dragging her to her "thinking box" when ever I think she has offended me, Rufus or Sebastian!

I had to go to the dentist today! I was not at all happy to see Dr. Derek. I think they remembered me too because they didn't even try to let me hang out in the room with the other poor smucks whose Mommies made them go to the dentist too. I am happy to report that I put up such a big fight that Dr. Derek was afraid to stick his fingers in my mouth this time and didn't even try to fluoridate me because he knew I would get him if he tried. I am even happier to report that I dented his metal mouth mirror and broke the glass!!!! I think everyone was amazed at my accomplishment because everyone came to see what I accomplished!! According to Dr. Derek that wasn't suppose to be possible. Dr. Derek is hoping that if they increase the frequency of my visits I will get use to him and let him have a real good look in my mouth. Mommy assures Dr. Derek that it isn't likely to happen soon. I think Dr. Derek thought Mommy was kidding until she told him that it was just a few weeks ago that I finally allowed my pediatrician to look in my mouth without having to go through the whole rodeo deal. I have news for Dr. Derek, if he thinks I am big and strong now--wait until next time when I will be even bigger and stronger!!!!

Well that is all for now!

Happy February!!!

Bella at 12 Weeks Old!!!

(Check out her Donald Trump Comb Over!!!)

(P.S. Bella stays in violation of the "ear rule")

Okay, I really need to do something about my secretary. Seems the new year has not changed her ways. She needs to watch it because the way the economy is going, I may just fire my secretary!! Good help shouldn't be too hard to find nowadays.

What's new?? Guess what I got?? I got my very own I-Phone!!! Am I the coolest 3 year old or what??? Okay, so maybe I don't have actual phone service but I do have the phone with Wi-Fi for my You Tube viewing pleasure. I do wish to apologize for all those people I use to call on Mommy and Daddy's phones. Sorry, I couldn't help myself. I must admit though, my plan worked because it got me my very own I-Phone!! :)

Guess what else I got?? I got a ukelele and some cool checkered Vans all the way from Hawaii! Thanks Sommer. I love my "guitar" and my cool shoes!!


My puppy is a holy terror!! Bella is getting bigger and bigger every day. At her last doctor appointment she weighed 24 1/4 pounds and was 18 inches tall. That is a big change from when I got her a month ago (she doubled her weight and grew about six inches). The doctor said she wouldn't be surprised if Bella doubled her weight again over the next month. From the way she has been eating lately, I wouldn't be surprised either!! I have been learning to control Bella when she has been being bad. I am allowed to spank her with the newspaper but Mommy thinks I get power hungry so I am only allowed to spank Bella when Mommy says so and under supervision.


I was jealous that Bella got sick, so I got sick too. Apparently Rufus was jealous that Bella and me were sick, so he got sick too! Sebastian says we are all a bunch of goobers and he doesn't want any part of being sick! Anyway, I have been hanging out all weekend because I am sick. Hopefully I will get better soon. Dude came and played with me yesterday. I was excited to see Dude. He built me a cool house with my Lincoln Logs.


Well that is all the news I have. Oh yeah, I get to take a trip this month. Mommy and Daddy haven't told me where I am going but the insist that I will be extremely happy. We shall see.

Meet the Newest Vance---Take Two!!!

Meet Bella the Newest Vance!!!

As promised, Mommy delivered a brand spanking new puppy to Daddy and Me on Friday!!! Her name is Bella!! She is 7 weeks old and is in perfect puppy health! The vet checked her over twice just to be sure because she heard what happened to me earlier in the week and she didn't want me to suffer two losses in one week. I just love Bella even though she is very, very LOUD!!! She isn't nearly as grown up as Zoe is but Daddy is working on getting her all doggy mannered up! Oh yeah, guess what??? Mommy finally told me what happend to Zoe. Do you know that I got Zoe as a present for Uncle Carl because he needed a very special friend and so did she?? I am such a nice boy!! At least that is the spin Mommy is putting on it. Something still doesn't smell right but at least it sounds better than Zoe missing her Mommy and having to go home. Anyway, back to my puppy----She is a Great Dane puppy and according to the Doggy Doctor, she is doing great and will be growing FAST!!! I picked out a new collar and some toys for her! We are going to be best friends just as soon as she learns that even puppy teeth hurt and to stop crying at night!

We all went to see Grandma yesterday. I always have a blast at Grandma's house! I must say, I missed her a whole lot and I think she missed me too!

It looks like I am starting the New Year off sick..No fun!!! I have been hot, hot and hot. I have a bad cough but Daddy and Mommy are giving me all the things I need to keep comfortable until this illness blows over. Thanks Mommy and Daddy! Oh yeah, and Rufus too. He has been busy staying cuddled up to me so I don't get lonely.