They Are Torturing Me!!!

My parents are MEAN to me!!! I have been sick for the last two days and they are not making my life any easier! Mommy has decided that if I want something I am going to have to say please. Can you believe that I am no longer allowed to just grab her by the hand and take her where I want??? She actually refuses to go unless I say please! She has really lost her mind because she has ordered everyone to make me say please before my demands are met! Doesn't she know that I am not feeling well and she shouldn't pick this time to demand that I learn to say please! Then last night I woke up at 1:30 a.m. and wanted to party. I partied with Daddy until 3 when I grew bored of Daddy and got Mommy. I kept asking for juice and when she would ask me if I wanted juice I would say "no." Anyway, she wouldn't get me juice so finally I had to say "Please" and drag her off with me and pointed at my cups and said "juice." Mommy actually lectured me and told me that I should not have told her "no" when she asked me if I wanted juice because I am perfectly capable of saying "yes." Well all I can say is that I wouldn't have asked for juice in the first place if I didn't want it. She also mentioned that I am not allowed to get out of bed in the middle of the night because it is not fun or funny at all. Will someone PLEASE tell her to give me a break???

Mommy and Daddy really aren't being nice to me. I mean really!! Mommy and Daddy loaded me up this morning giving me the impression that I was going to work. Can you believe that they took me to get a CAT scan?? That experience was sheer TORTURE!!! They strapped me down, taped me down, bundled me up, weighted me down and pinned me down!! I was absolutely furious!! Once they liberated me, the lady told Mommy that I couldn't leave yet because they have to make sure that the scan was good because I might have to do it over. Mommy actually gave her a dirty look about that. I really think that Mommy would have hollered at her if I had to do my test over because they shouldn't have liberated me before knowing whether or not the pictures were good and it would have been too mean to have to pin me up again! Anyway, the lady gave me a beanie baby and a weeble wobble for being such a good boy. Daddy grabbed the weeble wobble for me because he thought I might throw it at the lady and it could hurt!! I did get to go to work after that so I could tell Aunt Kay and Uncle Carl about my ordeal.

This afternoon I had to go to my regular doctor for my fever and wheeziness. We were there forever and a day!! I flirted with a girl today (sorry Jessica, I can't help myself)! Guess what, the girl was real nice to me. Mommy told me I had to work on my techniques because tooting in front of a girl you are flirting with is not too cool. The girl's Mommy told Daddy that I have a lot of energy. Daddy told her "yeah, and he is actually not operating at full speed because he's sick." That lady pitied Daddy and Mommy!

Anyway, the doctor took forever to see me. The nurse finally brought me a juice that Daddy ended up squirting in my face, on the door and floor because he didn't listen to Mommy when she told him not to touch it. I wasn't too happy with Daddy and neither was Mommy. I didn't say anything to Daddy about it because Mommy spoke for the two of us. Anyway, my cat scan results made it there today. I got the all clear on my head. The doctor gave me some medicine for my sinuses. He said that if I am still having headaches he may send me to a head doctor. He can't find the source of my headaches but isn't too worried because they are brief and I am otherwise happy and energetic.

Well that is all for now!!

School Rivalry!!

I had a great weekend! I got to go to Little Rock with Mommy and Daddy this weekend to check out this new "meat store." I had fun trying to pull the apples from the apple pile at the store. Mommy told me that she didn't think management would appreciate me plopping their apple piles onto the floor so she made me stop. The carts were so new and tricky Mommy and Daddy couldn't get me out, so Mommy laughed and told me I might have to stay. When you are good you are good, I got a lady driving a corvette to help me out of my predicament. I didn't even cry!!

I still love to go swimming! Mommy is trying her best to get me to go swimming wearing clothes. She almost has me broke of the au natural. I got to see MY Jessica, Uncle Fester and Aunt Patty yesterday. I was swimming au natural until Jessica laughed at me because I didn't have any clothes on. So what is a self respecting guy to do?? I made Uncle Fester put my diaper on for me!! My Jessica bought me a present--I got a "Future Bryant Hornet In Training" shirt with my name on back! I love my present. I even wore it to Wally Mart (that's what I call it--it's true...I can say it!!) That's where the problem lies. If Mommy and Daddy don't get me a bigger house somewhere (so that all my future toys have plenty of room) I will be going to Benton High--Not Bryant. Bryant is the rival school. My neighbor was at Wally Mart and asked me why on earth I was wearing a hornet shirt because I am going to be a panther!!! Mommy explained that my girlfriend got it for me so I had to wear it and will switch to Panther attire when I ditch Jessica for a Panther girl. Mommy tells me that she is going to send me to the Baby Penitentiary on Friday wearing my shirt to get a rise out of everyone.

I am making great strides in staying at the Baby Penitentiary. I didn't cry but for a few seconds today with Mommy dropped me off with Warden Kristy. When Mommy came to get me today the head warden rushed up to her and told her I had been crying for the past 15 minutes, not because my head was hurting me, but because Warden Kristy left for the day. Mommy thinks Warden Kristy had some nerve leaving for the day. I AGREE!!!

Now to the headaches....Daddy noticed a week ago that I would hold my head sometimes and say "ow." Mommy, Daddy and the Wardens have been monitoring it. The doctor said last week to bring me back in if I kept acting like I was having headaches. Mommy and Daddy took me back to the doctor last Friday because I kept having them all week...not big ones...just a minute or two and then I was fine again. Anyway, the doctor is sending me to have my head examined by a cat scan to make sure everything is okay. I don't understand why I have to go...I get cat scans everyday from Rufus and Sebastian!! The doctor seems to think I am fine but he just wants to make sure.

Well that's all for now!! Go Panthers!!! Oops! I mean go Jessica!!

I DID IT!!!

I DID IT!!!!

I amaze myself sometimes! There I was playing nicely in the backyard spraying Mommy and Daddy's feet with the hose when Mommy asked if I wanted to get my feet wet too. Heck, it was hot so I decided to let her do my feet too. Then it occurred to me...if water from the hose can feel that good, then the pool must feel even better. So what is a boy to do? I jumped right into my pool!!! Mommy would have taken pictures but I quickly decided that "Au natural" would be best. Anyway, I had an absolute blast playing in my pool. I don't know why I was so adverse to the pool to begin with. Oh yeah, Mommy and Daddy didn't make too big of a deal out of me getting into the pool at first because they were trying hard to act like it wasn't a big deal so I didn't change my mind about it just to be difficult . Anyhow, I think I may give the pool thing another try tomorrow and I might even be decent so Mommy can take pictures. I can't wait to tell Warden Kristy that I finally did it. I am sure she won't believe me. (Mommy assures me that she will tell Warden Kristy to not push her luck on Splash Day and just let me do things on my own terms and at my own speed!)

Well that is my big news. Oh yeah, My Joey...want to come swimming in MY POOL?? Mommy says she will even put fresh water in the pool since I had peed in it!!!

They Call Me Ivan the Terrible!!

I should have known something was up when Mommy and me did not leave for school at the normal time. Seems Daddy and Mommy felt the need to take me to the doctor to have my head examined. I have been acting like my head hurt for the past few days so they took me to see my doctor. I let the doctor use his stethoscope on me but that was all I was willing to let him do. Mommy assured me this time that she wouldn't let him snatch me away from her. She kept her word and made him tell her when he wanted me in a different position. He got to see just how strong I am!! I am pretty sure that both of us were happy that I left!

Daddy took me to the Baby Penitentiary after we left the doctor's office. I thought we were going to the office but that didn't happen. I threw an absolute fit at the Baby Penitentiary. Everyone was watching a movie and I caused complete chaos because Daddy left me there. I banged and banged on the windows hollering for Daddy. I wouldn't let any of the Wardens try to calm me down. Since they didn't seem to understand that I didn't want to stay there I started kicking the doors! I kept my shenanigans up for almost an hour before they decided they better call Mommy and Daddy. Daddy came and got me but I was sleeping when he got there because I wore myself out. Mommy was quite happy that I was asleep when Daddy got there because she seems to think that I would have been able to put two and two together and pull the tantrum fit out of my hat everyday. I really rattled my Wardens and I seem to think that they were happy to see me go too! Warden Kristy says I can come back and felt bad that she couldn't comfort me or make me see the fun in staying at the Baby Penitentiary today. Don't they understand that when I get into Daddy's truck I am suppose to go to work???

Daddy and I hanged out at the house all afternoon and waited for Mommy to get home. Mommy didn't think my shenanigans was very cute. Oh well. I can't always toe the line! The good news is that I really do get to go to work tomorrow. Mommy assures me that I am going to work tomorrow because she says I can and not because I want to. She also assures me that I will be going back to the Baby Penitentiary on Thursday and I am going to act happy to be there!

Just Call Me Cinderfella!!!

Are They Nuts??? They Are Making Me Vacuum!!!

As If Making Me Vacuum Wasn't Enough!!

Okay, I need a little help here!!! My parents have gone absolutely nuts. They seem to think that since I feel I am old enough to make a mess then I am old enough to help clean it up!! What do they think I am, a slave??? I need a lawyer NOW!!! This kind of behavior must violate some child labor law somewhere!!

Well I got to go to dinner last night with Mommy and Daddy. We went to have dinner with Ms. Leigh Ann, Mr. Stacy, Megan, Abigail and Grace. I tried to scold Megan for leaving her seat but she didn't seem to care about my input into the matter. Abigail and Grace are little bitty babies. Mommy says I was almost as small as them once upon a time but I don't believe her. Mommy says I was also sweet like them once upon a time....Well I definitely don't believe that! I had a blast being a little tyrant in the restaurant. Mommy finally took me outside and made me stay there. I tried to go back in the restaurant but Mommy told me that NO ONE would be happy to see me return so I had to stay outside and burn off some excess energy.

After dinner Mommy, Daddy and I went to the grocery store. I was such a good boy in there. The lady in front of us at the check out told Mommy that I was a little chatterbox and a very good boy at Starbuck's the other morning. Mommy said thank you but I don't think Mommy really believed her. Mommy told me later that I spend too much time at Starbucks if they are able to identify me at Wally World.

I am hanging out with Mommy and Daddy today. Aunt Kay is suppose to come see me today. I can't wait to tell her that I helped Mommy clean!!

Well that's all for now!! Oh yeah, Dude or My Joey---Help!!!

I Am Turning Into A Chatter Box!!!

Mommy says that I am turning into quite the little chatter box. I am learning more new words every day. Well actually, Mommy and Daddy are learning that I know more new words every day. I have always known them, I just chose not to say them.

Aunt Patty and My Jessica came to see me Sunday. I even got to hang out with My Jessica all day Sunday. I was so happy about her being there that I actually called her Jessica!! Uncle Fester came to visit with me too. I got to eat some of his pizza. Daddy and I had guys night Sunday because Mommy was out on girls night---Aunt Lili was with Mommy too. Can you believe that Aunt Lili didn't insist that I go to girls night too!!! That's okay though, it would probably make me a sissy boy if I went out on girls night.

Daddy took me to the Baby Penitentiary yesterday. Mommy wasn't too happy with my outfit when she saw me when I got home. She had a little talk with Daddy about his fashion sense. I went to work with Daddy today. We let Mommy sleep in because its her birthday. Fortunately for me, Mommy woke up in time to rescue me from yet another fashion nightmare!! Mommy can't really blame Daddy because she should have remembered to set an outfit out for me so Daddy wouldn't have to try to decide what I needed to wear.

Well that's all for now. Oh yeah....Has anyone seen My Joey???

Busy Social Calendar!!

I finally kicked my illness!! Mommy and Daddy were still worried about me Wednesday. Daddy took care of me Wednesday morning. I didn't want anything he offered me to eat or drink. I finally asked him for some cheetos. Guess what??? He actually gave me some. Daddy was worried that Mommy would be mad at him for letting me eat cheetos when I haven't had anything else in my tummy. Guess what?? Mommy wasn't mad at all. She told Daddy that when ever I am sick I get to say what I want to eat because all that matters is that I have stuff that makes me happy. Daddy felt better about that. Before I took my nap I asked him for a yogurt. That made him feel even better. Mommy came home at lunch time to take care of me so Daddy could go to work. She got lucky because I was well into my nap when she got home. Mommy says that I must have sweated out all the germs in my sleep because I was cured when I woke up. That's right, cured!! I wanted milk and a man's meal!

Since I was feeling better Mommy and Daddy decided to go ahead and let me hang out with Uncle Fester, Aunt Patty and My Jessica that evening while Mommy and Daddy went out to dinner for their anniversary. I had a blast over there! Jessica took me to the playground so I could "weeeeee" for a while. I even got to hang out and watch Pablo with Jessica in her room!!! Aunt Patty went and got me a happy meal! I just love chicken nuggets!!! Mommy and Daddy didn't stay gone long enough!

Saturday I went to Grandpa Jim and Grandma Dale's house. Guess who was there?? My Aunt Terri, Uncle Tom and cousins Jake and Brooke were there!!! I even got to see Mr. Larry and Ms. Sandy (I haven't seen them since I was a baby). Mr. Jerry and Ms. Sarah were there too! I wasn't very nice to everyone. Grandma Dale didn't have her Pablo player working so I didn't see the need to be nice to anyone. Grandma Dale says that Daddy and me can't come back until I am 16 years old. FINE!!! She'll be missing me!! She finally changed her mind and said I can come back. I am not going to change my mind until she gets a new Pablo player!

Yesterday I got to play with my biological siblings. My biological family came over for a visit and I had a blast playing with everyone. I wasn't too sure about everyone playing with my stuff at first. At least no one tried to play with my vacuum. I would have had to show them the door because every boy has to have his limits--my vacuum is mine!

Sebastian, Rufus and I are entering new territory. It is now my job to give them their treats. I just love giving them treats. Rufus seems to be getting more treats that Sebastian because Sebastian doesn't trust me enough to let me get close enough to let me give him his treats. Mommy finally gets tired of me chasing Sebastian down to give him treats so she tells me to give them to Rufus. Mommy is convinced that Sebastian is eventually going to figure out that it is not a trap!!

It was back to business this morning. I was so exhausted from my busy busy weekend that I really didn't want to get out of bed but Mommy made me! Well that is all for now!!!