Return of the Zooligan!!!

I Can't Believe That She Is Making Us Do This!!!

(Daddy is the happiest sunflower I will ever meet.)

This Goat Is Just A Tad Bit Pushy!!!

I Am Not Too Sure About These Wanna Be Horses!!!

What A Day!!! Mommy woke up before me today! I should have known something was up since she was up before me!! When she put me in the car this morning I got really angry because I thought we were going to the Baby Penitentiary. Mommy assured me that it was Sunday and I didn't have to go to the clink today! Instead, we went and got some doughnuts and we went to Wally Mart!! I got to eat my doughnut at Wally Mart. Guess what I got?? I got a brand new basketball set at Wally Mart!!! I can slam dunk now!!!

Anyway, we let Daddy sleep in for a little bit but Mommy finally told me to go get him because we had stuff to do! Guess where we went??? That's right, we went to the ZOO!!! I got to yell at the elephants (they are my favorite), feed the fish, feed the goats, feed the sheep, feed the wanna be horses, laugh at the apes, roar at the Tigers and ride the train! Mommy says we were Shanghaied on the train because it wasn't worth the money for the ride! I made other people on the train laugh because I clapped and yelled "yay" when Mommy told me we were bamboozled!!! Mommy got us a family pass so we can go to the Zoo every day if we feel like it!! I have a feeling that Mommy isn't going to let me ride the train again. That's just as well because I would rather use my train fare to feed the animals!!!!

I got to see My Jessica, Uncle Fester and Aunt Patty tonight! Aunt Kay even stopped by to say hi!! Rumor has it that my Uncle F.O., Aunt Lili, Jesse and My Joey will be here when I wake up! I guess I will have to wait and see!! If they do come to see me, it will be the perfect end to a perfect weekend! Wish me luck!!

Road Trip!!!

Do As I Say---Now!!!

Here Fishey Fishey Fishey!!!

Can You Believe Aunt Kay Made Me Vacuum Her House???

Mommy, Daddy and Me went on a road trip today to Hot Springs to see Aunt Kay's new house and Uncle Carl's new house!! I had a blast!! I got to vacuum Aunt Kay's house with a shiny new red vacuum.!!! I also got to look at the fish in the lake. After we left Aunt Kay's house we headed over to Uncle Carl's new house. He has all kinds of steps for me to climb!! We went down to the lake at his house too!! I got to look for more fish!! Mommy, Aunt Kay and Uncle Carl all tried to convince me to jump in the lake and go swimming. Are they nuts??? Don't they realize that I am just getting comfortable with the pool. Like I am going to just go off and jump into the lake!!

Daddy bought me my very own rocking chair from the Cracker Barrel! I loved sitting in the rocking chair so much because it is just my size. I would not leave the porch of the restaurant or get out of the chair until Daddy returned with a receipt in his hand so that the chair could go home with me. Mommy is just glad that it wasn't a puppy!!

They Are Torturing Me!!!

My parents are MEAN to me!!! I have been sick for the last two days and they are not making my life any easier! Mommy has decided that if I want something I am going to have to say please. Can you believe that I am no longer allowed to just grab her by the hand and take her where I want??? She actually refuses to go unless I say please! She has really lost her mind because she has ordered everyone to make me say please before my demands are met! Doesn't she know that I am not feeling well and she shouldn't pick this time to demand that I learn to say please! Then last night I woke up at 1:30 a.m. and wanted to party. I partied with Daddy until 3 when I grew bored of Daddy and got Mommy. I kept asking for juice and when she would ask me if I wanted juice I would say "no." Anyway, she wouldn't get me juice so finally I had to say "Please" and drag her off with me and pointed at my cups and said "juice." Mommy actually lectured me and told me that I should not have told her "no" when she asked me if I wanted juice because I am perfectly capable of saying "yes." Well all I can say is that I wouldn't have asked for juice in the first place if I didn't want it. She also mentioned that I am not allowed to get out of bed in the middle of the night because it is not fun or funny at all. Will someone PLEASE tell her to give me a break???

Mommy and Daddy really aren't being nice to me. I mean really!! Mommy and Daddy loaded me up this morning giving me the impression that I was going to work. Can you believe that they took me to get a CAT scan?? That experience was sheer TORTURE!!! They strapped me down, taped me down, bundled me up, weighted me down and pinned me down!! I was absolutely furious!! Once they liberated me, the lady told Mommy that I couldn't leave yet because they have to make sure that the scan was good because I might have to do it over. Mommy actually gave her a dirty look about that. I really think that Mommy would have hollered at her if I had to do my test over because they shouldn't have liberated me before knowing whether or not the pictures were good and it would have been too mean to have to pin me up again! Anyway, the lady gave me a beanie baby and a weeble wobble for being such a good boy. Daddy grabbed the weeble wobble for me because he thought I might throw it at the lady and it could hurt!! I did get to go to work after that so I could tell Aunt Kay and Uncle Carl about my ordeal.

This afternoon I had to go to my regular doctor for my fever and wheeziness. We were there forever and a day!! I flirted with a girl today (sorry Jessica, I can't help myself)! Guess what, the girl was real nice to me. Mommy told me I had to work on my techniques because tooting in front of a girl you are flirting with is not too cool. The girl's Mommy told Daddy that I have a lot of energy. Daddy told her "yeah, and he is actually not operating at full speed because he's sick." That lady pitied Daddy and Mommy!

Anyway, the doctor took forever to see me. The nurse finally brought me a juice that Daddy ended up squirting in my face, on the door and floor because he didn't listen to Mommy when she told him not to touch it. I wasn't too happy with Daddy and neither was Mommy. I didn't say anything to Daddy about it because Mommy spoke for the two of us. Anyway, my cat scan results made it there today. I got the all clear on my head. The doctor gave me some medicine for my sinuses. He said that if I am still having headaches he may send me to a head doctor. He can't find the source of my headaches but isn't too worried because they are brief and I am otherwise happy and energetic.

Well that is all for now!!

School Rivalry!!

I had a great weekend! I got to go to Little Rock with Mommy and Daddy this weekend to check out this new "meat store." I had fun trying to pull the apples from the apple pile at the store. Mommy told me that she didn't think management would appreciate me plopping their apple piles onto the floor so she made me stop. The carts were so new and tricky Mommy and Daddy couldn't get me out, so Mommy laughed and told me I might have to stay. When you are good you are good, I got a lady driving a corvette to help me out of my predicament. I didn't even cry!!

I still love to go swimming! Mommy is trying her best to get me to go swimming wearing clothes. She almost has me broke of the au natural. I got to see MY Jessica, Uncle Fester and Aunt Patty yesterday. I was swimming au natural until Jessica laughed at me because I didn't have any clothes on. So what is a self respecting guy to do?? I made Uncle Fester put my diaper on for me!! My Jessica bought me a present--I got a "Future Bryant Hornet In Training" shirt with my name on back! I love my present. I even wore it to Wally Mart (that's what I call it--it's true...I can say it!!) That's where the problem lies. If Mommy and Daddy don't get me a bigger house somewhere (so that all my future toys have plenty of room) I will be going to Benton High--Not Bryant. Bryant is the rival school. My neighbor was at Wally Mart and asked me why on earth I was wearing a hornet shirt because I am going to be a panther!!! Mommy explained that my girlfriend got it for me so I had to wear it and will switch to Panther attire when I ditch Jessica for a Panther girl. Mommy tells me that she is going to send me to the Baby Penitentiary on Friday wearing my shirt to get a rise out of everyone.

I am making great strides in staying at the Baby Penitentiary. I didn't cry but for a few seconds today with Mommy dropped me off with Warden Kristy. When Mommy came to get me today the head warden rushed up to her and told her I had been crying for the past 15 minutes, not because my head was hurting me, but because Warden Kristy left for the day. Mommy thinks Warden Kristy had some nerve leaving for the day. I AGREE!!!

Now to the headaches....Daddy noticed a week ago that I would hold my head sometimes and say "ow." Mommy, Daddy and the Wardens have been monitoring it. The doctor said last week to bring me back in if I kept acting like I was having headaches. Mommy and Daddy took me back to the doctor last Friday because I kept having them all week...not big ones...just a minute or two and then I was fine again. Anyway, the doctor is sending me to have my head examined by a cat scan to make sure everything is okay. I don't understand why I have to go...I get cat scans everyday from Rufus and Sebastian!! The doctor seems to think I am fine but he just wants to make sure.

Well that's all for now!! Go Panthers!!! Oops! I mean go Jessica!!

I DID IT!!!

I DID IT!!!!

I amaze myself sometimes! There I was playing nicely in the backyard spraying Mommy and Daddy's feet with the hose when Mommy asked if I wanted to get my feet wet too. Heck, it was hot so I decided to let her do my feet too. Then it occurred to me...if water from the hose can feel that good, then the pool must feel even better. So what is a boy to do? I jumped right into my pool!!! Mommy would have taken pictures but I quickly decided that "Au natural" would be best. Anyway, I had an absolute blast playing in my pool. I don't know why I was so adverse to the pool to begin with. Oh yeah, Mommy and Daddy didn't make too big of a deal out of me getting into the pool at first because they were trying hard to act like it wasn't a big deal so I didn't change my mind about it just to be difficult . Anyhow, I think I may give the pool thing another try tomorrow and I might even be decent so Mommy can take pictures. I can't wait to tell Warden Kristy that I finally did it. I am sure she won't believe me. (Mommy assures me that she will tell Warden Kristy to not push her luck on Splash Day and just let me do things on my own terms and at my own speed!)

Well that is my big news. Oh yeah, My Joey...want to come swimming in MY POOL?? Mommy says she will even put fresh water in the pool since I had peed in it!!!

They Call Me Ivan the Terrible!!

I should have known something was up when Mommy and me did not leave for school at the normal time. Seems Daddy and Mommy felt the need to take me to the doctor to have my head examined. I have been acting like my head hurt for the past few days so they took me to see my doctor. I let the doctor use his stethoscope on me but that was all I was willing to let him do. Mommy assured me this time that she wouldn't let him snatch me away from her. She kept her word and made him tell her when he wanted me in a different position. He got to see just how strong I am!! I am pretty sure that both of us were happy that I left!

Daddy took me to the Baby Penitentiary after we left the doctor's office. I thought we were going to the office but that didn't happen. I threw an absolute fit at the Baby Penitentiary. Everyone was watching a movie and I caused complete chaos because Daddy left me there. I banged and banged on the windows hollering for Daddy. I wouldn't let any of the Wardens try to calm me down. Since they didn't seem to understand that I didn't want to stay there I started kicking the doors! I kept my shenanigans up for almost an hour before they decided they better call Mommy and Daddy. Daddy came and got me but I was sleeping when he got there because I wore myself out. Mommy was quite happy that I was asleep when Daddy got there because she seems to think that I would have been able to put two and two together and pull the tantrum fit out of my hat everyday. I really rattled my Wardens and I seem to think that they were happy to see me go too! Warden Kristy says I can come back and felt bad that she couldn't comfort me or make me see the fun in staying at the Baby Penitentiary today. Don't they understand that when I get into Daddy's truck I am suppose to go to work???

Daddy and I hanged out at the house all afternoon and waited for Mommy to get home. Mommy didn't think my shenanigans was very cute. Oh well. I can't always toe the line! The good news is that I really do get to go to work tomorrow. Mommy assures me that I am going to work tomorrow because she says I can and not because I want to. She also assures me that I will be going back to the Baby Penitentiary on Thursday and I am going to act happy to be there!

Just Call Me Cinderfella!!!

Are They Nuts??? They Are Making Me Vacuum!!!

As If Making Me Vacuum Wasn't Enough!!

Okay, I need a little help here!!! My parents have gone absolutely nuts. They seem to think that since I feel I am old enough to make a mess then I am old enough to help clean it up!! What do they think I am, a slave??? I need a lawyer NOW!!! This kind of behavior must violate some child labor law somewhere!!

Well I got to go to dinner last night with Mommy and Daddy. We went to have dinner with Ms. Leigh Ann, Mr. Stacy, Megan, Abigail and Grace. I tried to scold Megan for leaving her seat but she didn't seem to care about my input into the matter. Abigail and Grace are little bitty babies. Mommy says I was almost as small as them once upon a time but I don't believe her. Mommy says I was also sweet like them once upon a time....Well I definitely don't believe that! I had a blast being a little tyrant in the restaurant. Mommy finally took me outside and made me stay there. I tried to go back in the restaurant but Mommy told me that NO ONE would be happy to see me return so I had to stay outside and burn off some excess energy.

After dinner Mommy, Daddy and I went to the grocery store. I was such a good boy in there. The lady in front of us at the check out told Mommy that I was a little chatterbox and a very good boy at Starbuck's the other morning. Mommy said thank you but I don't think Mommy really believed her. Mommy told me later that I spend too much time at Starbucks if they are able to identify me at Wally World.

I am hanging out with Mommy and Daddy today. Aunt Kay is suppose to come see me today. I can't wait to tell her that I helped Mommy clean!!

Well that's all for now!! Oh yeah, Dude or My Joey---Help!!!