Well Baby, Well Maybe Not!!!

Look at the scratch that nasty brat put on my beautiful face!!! I think I may need to consult a plastic surgeon! (Yeah, I still have that tongue thing going on!)

I had my 9 month well baby check up today. The doctor lied because a needle was involved. They didn't put anything in me but they did take some blood out of my finger!! They are MEAN!!! Anyway, I am 21.14 lbs and 29 1/2 inches long. I am a big boy!! Can you believe he had the nerve to say that I am no longer a "chunky boy" because all of my parts are proportionate with each other. He found that I have the start of ear infections again (yeah, that's right plural). They were fine last Thursday when he seen me but here I am again with ear problems. I am going to a special doctor next week...he's a otolaryngologist (yeah that's right, I can spell it but can you say it??). The doctor suspects that the special doctor will recommend that I get tubes put in my ear because I keep getting ear infections. Mommy is worried but that's what Mommy does. Daddy on the other hand looks at things from a different perspective. That's right, Daddy says that all little boys who get operations get lots of toys from people who love them. He says that we will be sure to take notes on who gives and who doesn't (Mommy says we are kidding but she didn't consult Daddy or me when making that statement)!!! Other than my ears, I am perfectly healthy.

I went to work today. Aunt Kay and Uncle Carl fussed over me as usual!!! They gave me extra fussing because it is my 9-month birthday today and I had a doctor's appointment too. I had a blast playing with them. Mommy scolded Daddy when she came to get me because he carried a huge bucket of bubble gum into my playpen and a piece was left under one of my puppets. Daddy got into trouble because Mommy doesn't trust him with bubble gum because of the big wad of chewed gum he left in the bed years ago and because I can CHOKE on gum!

Uncle Fester called Mommy to complain that he didn't make the blog update from yesterday. So here goes...Uncle Fester, Aunt Patty and Jessica came to see me last Sunday. Aunt Patty was a blast! I just love hanging out with my Aunt Patty and Jessica. Uncle Fester on the other hand...The nerve of him!!! Can you believe that he did not cuddle with me when I woke up crying in my swing and he didn't come check on me when I was crying in my crib! What kind of uncle engages in psychological warfare directed towards a sweet innocent little boy??? Then he had the nerve to eat my bomb pops and not even offer me any!!! He better make sure to bring me at least TWO PRESENTS if I have an operation to prove that he loves me and that he is sorry for not being attentive to my psychological needs. I have to give him credit though...he did change my stinky diaper!

Well that is all for now. Oh yeah, Joey come see me!!!!!!

Gravity Strikes!!!

Okay, it has been a while since I had Mommy write. It has been a rather hectic week for me. I have mastered crawling, pulling myself up and FALLING!!! I found out last Thursday that I cannot fly!! I crawled right off the bed!!! Mommy was absolutely horrified! by seeing me laying flat on my back on the floor!! Daddy tried to immediately pick me up but Mommy wouldn't let him. Once I let out my yell and began punching and kicking the air Mommy decided it was okay to scoop me up! My nose was scratched up but no bumps or bruises. They took me to the doctor just to be safe. Mommy says that she doesn't mind diagnosising herself or Daddy but she won't do that with me! Anyway, I got the all clear from the doctor!!

I got to meet Kuganese and Krishnan this past weekend (They are Brad's wife and son). I really really liked Krishnan but he is 7 and too cool to actually get down on the floor and play with me. Brad told Mommy that Kuganese said that "Zachary's not fat!" Mommy told Brad to stop telling people I am fat!!! Brad assures Mommy that I lost my pudge!! Mommy says that I was never fat, I was just short for my weight!!! Really though, I would pack on some weight before I stretched lengthwise.

Mommy cracked me up when she picked me up from the clink today. She saw that I had a big scratch on my face and she wasn't at all embarrassed about asking (rather loudly if you ask me), "Buddy, What happened to your face???" The warden explained that some nasty kid (Mommy's word not the warden's) is in need of a finger nail trim. Can you believe that some little brat scratched my beautiful face??? Mommy suspects that it was that crazy little girl that was beating up Sean that one day but I won't tell her who did it because it was just a baby thing. Mommy told Daddy to teach me to punch so if hurts me again I can clobber them.

I have learned that I have low speed and high speed. Mommy has figured out when I am going to kick it into high speed. Rufus and Sebastian haven't figured it out yet. I tackled Rufus tonight and squashed him and pulled out some of his fur. It was great fun!!! Mommy and Daddy were very proud of Rufus for not being mean to me. He got tuna and all I got was Mommy telling me to be nice to Rufus. Sebastian on the other hand, he enjoys tormenting me just as much as I enjoy tormenting him. He is nice enough to take of running but stops every few feet to let me catch up.

I am roaming all around the house getting into everything! Everything is MINE!!! I have confiscated everything in the house for my own personal pleasure. If Daddy or Mommy touch something that is mine (which is everything) they better be prepared to wrassle me for it!!

Anyway, I have my 9-month check up tomorrow. Mommy reminded me that the doctor said I don't have to have any shots tomorrow and I am going to hold the doctor to his word. Mommy says that the doctor and I have an oral contract regarding no shots tomorrow so if he breaches his contract Mommy and I are going to sue. Mommy says the only exception to the no shot clause is if I am sick then I have to get one if necessary.

The Co-Pay King Strikes Again!!

I have been sick!!! The Wardens at the Baby penitentiary called Daddy (that's right Daddy) on Thursday to report that I had a temperature!! Daddy went to collect me since he was leaving work anyway. Daddy did tell them to make sure that they call Mommy instead of him because he would hate for them to get in trouble since all of us like my new school a lot better. The Warden called Mommy as soon as she hung up with Daddy and apologized for goofing up. She also corrected the numbers in the computer to make sure that Daddy isn't the first one they call ever again (unless for some reason Mommy tells them to and it sure won't be to Daddy's desk phone)! Anyway, Mommy had Daddy run me to the doctor. I have an ear infection and had to get one of those super duper shots again!!! Ouch!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mommy stayed home with me Friday. I started feeling really really good about mid-day! I hate to admit it but I really really roughed Mommy up!! Her ribs still are not up to par so I should be ashamed of myself but I am not!! I chased Sebastian and Rufus all over the house. They eventually got sick of me and hid! Mommy passed me off to Daddy when he came home. I am proud to say, I roughed him up more than I roughed Mommy up!! I finally fell asleep and gave them both a break. Guess what?? I woke up around midnight and I had swirlies in my eyes. Mommy took one look at me and told Daddy, "Oh gee it's way past my bedtime!" When Daddy thought I was wound down enough, he tried to put me to bed but I found my second wind and wrassled him. I was having the best fun headbutting him!!!

Grandpa Len got him a puppy!!! Mommy and I went to bring Grandpa Len a kennel for his puppy. Mommy had to laugh because when the puppy and I were investigating each other Grandpa Len made the puppy get away from me because I might poke him in the eye!! What am I Chop Suey???? Anyway, later on the puppy nipped me on the foot. I was mad!!! Mommy told Granny Bev that we are going to sue!!! I think I will let them slide on the snippy nippy puppy incident since they brought me a present back from Seattle!! Puppies are for the birds! I think I will stick with my boys Rufus and Sebastian because they are nice to me even if I am not very nice to them.

Mommy and I went to the store to buy a birthday present for Kadrick (his Mommy works for Daddy) and Mommy said that it wouldn't be fair for her to buy a toy for him and not for me. Well guess what?? That's right, Mommy had to go back to the store because she forgot to buy a toy for Kadrick!! I got the coolest toy. Now that I can pull myself up Mommy felt I needed something to do while I am standing up. Uncle Fester was trying to show me how to put the balls in the slider. I about have that part figured out! Oh yeah, I got another toy when Mommy went to get something for Kadrick but I think I got short changed on the toy!!

Anyway, just hanging out with Mommy and Daddy today!

Gene Simmons Eat Your Heart Out!!

Guess what!!!! I learned a new trick!! That's right, I can imitate Gene Simmons!!! Mommy and Daddy think my new trick is rather disgusting and are anxiously awaiting my discovery of something cuter. Mommy says that I have a tongue like an iguana and that I really ought to keep it in my mouth! They were okay with me going "plplplplplplplpl" for hours on end but I really think that they are serious when they say to keep it in my mouth!

Mommy and I went to the store today to buy me some stuff. Something is wrong with Mommy's brain because she didn't buy me anything. Seems she wasn't kidding when she said that fussy babies don't get presents from the store. I can't believe she drove us all the way to Little Rock and didn't buy me anything! I might have to consider being a good boy next time!

Daddy has been busy all day setting up my new pool. I have a "baby olympic" pool. I can't wait to get in it!!

Well that is all for now!!! Joey--Tell Aunt Lili to bring you to me!

Sunday Is Fun Day!!!

I had a blast hanging out with Daddy yesterday!! He may not have purchased me any presents at the Big Boy Toy Store but I had fun hanging out with him nonetheless. I am happy to report that we bumped into Uncle Jerry and Auntie Norma while we were out and they didn't turn and run the other way!!!

Mommy and I were suppose to have a "just us" day today but the Supreme Aunt Darlene called Mommy this morning because she didn't know where Grandpa Len was and Grandpa Len and Granny Bev have a tree sleeping on their house!!! Mommy and Uncle Lenny went out there to check things out because Grandpa Len and Granny Bev are out jet-setting. Mommy says that Grandpa Len and Granny Bev sure are lucky because the tree is only sleeping on the roof and not in their bed!!!

When Mommy went to pick up Uncle Lenny, Aunt Patty told Mommy to tell Daddy to bring me to her because she misses me!! So guess what?? That's right, I got to hang out with Aunt Patty until Mommy and Uncle Lenny came back! (Daddy had some missions to accomplish and having Aunt Patty take care of me made that a lot easier!!) Daddy forgot to send some toys along with me but Aunt Patty found me some toys to play with!! Anyway, I had a blast with Aunt Patty. She let me get away with everything!!! I found a basket of potpourri that she forgot about! You know what, I got it all over the floor and she didn't even yell at me!!! I have a feeling she is going to be a push over!!

Uncle Lenny was very mean to me when he got home!!! He wouldn't let me play with his remote control!! Well I have news for Uncle Lenny, YOU CAN'T PLAY WITH MY X-BOX 360!!! (Okay folks, I really don't have a X-Box 360 but I am sure that one day Mommy and Daddy will see fit to let me have something along those lines and I will remember that Uncle Lenny didn't let me play with his remote control!)

Tonight I got to go swimming with Daddy! I had a blast. Mommy says that I am a swimming fool!! I wasn't quite ready to get out when Daddy was so I tried to jump back in! Daddy was nice enough to let me do another lap. If Mommy ever gets better she will go swimming with me. Seems the muscles in her ribs are still causing her problems. I guess sucker punching her in the ribs this morning didn't help her any!

Anyway, it is back to the Baby Penitentiary tomorrow. Mommy is hoping that I can make it through the week without a bruise to my gorgeous face because she really wants to get new pictures of me but doesn't want me to have the "thug" look!

The Devil In Disguise!!

Uncle Jerry and Auntie Norma had to babysit me last night because Mommy and Daddy went to say goodbye to Uncle Ronny. I wanted to go to but Mommy didn't think it would be very appropriate to drag me along. I tried to tell her Uncle Ronny would approve but Mommy wouldn't relent. Anyways, seems Uncle Jerry and Auntie Norma only babysit me when we lose someone we love...Remember, they watched me the day I lost my puppy Harley.

Mommy has been telling Auntie Norma for the longest time that no one should be fooled by my sweet angelic face and usual happy go lucky disposition because I can be the Devil in Disguise! I sure showed Uncle Jerry and Auntie Norma what my temper can be like when I want my way! Despite my tantrum, I had a great time with Uncle Jerry and Auntie Norma. I just wanted to give them a glimpse of my other side so that they could prove just how much they love me!! I just hope I didn't rough them up too much...Well maybe I don't!

Today I am going to hang out with Daddy. He says he may take me to Lowe's. What is Lowe's? Will they have stuff for ME??? Only time will tell.

Road Trip and The Baby Penitentiary!!!

Do I look tough or what?? Can you believe my new wardens let me get a shiner on my first day in the Baby Penitentiary??

Friday night Daddy, Mommy and me all drove to Dallas to visit with Aunt Lili, Uncle F.O. (Frank), My Joey and Jesse. Mommy told Daddy a couple of weeks ago that we should just fly. Daddy insisted that driving would be just fine!! Daddy was singing a totally different tune when I decided to have a HUGE FIT because I wanted out of my car seat and I wanted to play. I finally got my way and we pulled over in Prescott to change my clothes and car seat (that making myself throw up deal is pretty effective and to let Mommy and Daddy show me around the booming metropolis of Prescott! It finally dawned on me that I was going to either ride home or ride to Dallas. So I gave in and allowed them to proceed to Dallas. Anyway, Daddy said that Mommy and me should consider flying home. Mommy wasn't too sure about that though and all she could think was that she told him that to begin with. Mommy finally decided that she was going to have to ride the whole way to Dallas leaning her head on my car seat so I could hold on to her hair for comfort while I slept. Mommy is hoping that the hair fetish is just a temporary phase.

Anyway, we finally got to My Joey and they were all waiting up for me. I had a long night! I was so happy to see all of them and I was just too busy being nosy that I didn't want to go to bed. Mommy finally decided that I would stay up all night if she let me so she made me go to bed when she did. I went swimming the next day with Daddy and Uncle F.O. I had a blast. Later that day Uncle Lenny, Aunt Patty, Ryan and Jessica surprised me by showing up. I was so happy to see them. Guess what, I got to go swimming with all of them too.

Daddy told Mommy that they wanted us to stay an extra day and that she could just call in sick. Mommy explained to them that calling in sick like that would be very very bad and that I should not have a Mommy that would teach me that. Besides, they all seem to forget what she does for a living. However, Mommy decided that a spoiled little baby shouldn't have to ride home in a car. So guess what, that's right...we made Daddy drive home all alone and Mommy and I flew home later that night. Which is just as well because I got more time with my Aunt Lili, Uncle F.O., Joey, Uncle Lenny, Aunt Patty, Ryan and Jessica!!!! Aunt Lili bought me a pair of baby Vans but turned out that my fat feet won't feet in them so I ended up getting another pair of shoes! Aunt Patty got me a cool outfit too! I am going to be styling in my new outfit!!!

Since Daddy ditched Mommy and me, I decided that I would execute a new trick. That's right, I learned to pull myself up to a standing position all by myself. Mommy was so excited that she called Daddy to tell him and she also told him that she was hoping I would walk too!!!

Anyhow, Uncle F.O. and Aunt Lili dropped us off at the airport an hour before our flight. But did we leave on time??? NO!!! Mommy was mad! I entertained her at the airport though! Daddy came to pick us up at the airport! I was excited to see him!!

I started serving time in the Baby penitentiary Monday! It's so nice to have a soft floor to play on and it's even nicer that there is not a "daycare smell" lingering in the air. Mommy was very sad to leave me there. I assured her that I would be just fine though because I was excited about being able to play on this baby climbing pad!! Guess what though??? When Mommy came to pick me up I was sitting on the floor and turned to look at her when she called my name...just then she saw that I have a brand new big boy bruise on my cheek!!! I look tough!!! The wardens explained to Mommy that I was rooting around by the rocking chair and bumped my cheek. Mommy told me to stop being so nosy so I won't get hurt. Mommy did have to laugh at them though for letting me get hurt on my very first day!!! Mommy was telling Auntie Tedi on the phone that she and I were going to have to drive around town until my bruise fades so that Daddy won't get mad at the new daycare!! Rest assured, Mommy and Daddy both know that I am going to get tons of bumps, bruises and cuts while I figure things out!!

Today was a great day in the Baby Penn!!! Lots of good food, fun and NO OUCHIES!!!! When we got home though Mommy told me that we lost Uncle Ronny today. Uncle Ronny was good to us. I am going to miss visiting him at Mommy's office and trying to get him in trouble for letting me put his hand in my mouth! Well that is all for now!