Tantrum Tantrum Tantrum!!!

I have been trying to perfect my tantrum techniques this week but Mommy and Daddy are thwarting my attempts to take complete control of the kingdom.

There is a new Warden in the nursery (I have to go into the nursery if I get to the Penitentiary before Warden Kristy gets there)! I don't like this Warden at all. On Thursday Mommy hated to leave me with her because I had a huge fit and wouldn't let her go. The new Warden finally took me from Mommy so Mommy could go to work. Mommy didn't even come back into the cell to say goodbye to me when she left (Mommy always comes back in begging for a bye bye kiss). I guess guilt got the better of Mommy because she called later that morning to ask Warden Kristy if I was okay because I usually don't mind staying with temporary wardens as long as toast is involved. Warden Kristy assured Mommy that I was my usual ornery self and managed to wolf down three pieces of toast. Warden Kristy told Mommy that her son threw a huge fit about staying with the new Warden too. Warden Kristy mentioned that none of the inmates like her but not to worry because she is harmless and temporary!!! Anyway, Mommy tried to be late dropping me off on Friday so I could avoid having to stay with someone I wasn't too comfortable with. We were happy to see Warden Kristy's car in the parking lot when we pulled up to the Penitentiary. However, Warden Kristy wasn't in my cell block so I had to go to the nursery. I would not let go of Mommy even though I was offered toast. Warden Kristy was there so she asked me if I wanted to stay or go with her and get all the breakfast goodies. I jumped into her arms. See that is why I just love Warden Kristy...she saved me from the temporary Warden and let me help her get all the goodies!

I went to work Wednesday but didn't drink enough while I was there. When Mommy got home and checked my work list from the day she got the crazy idea that she needed to intervene. I wouldn't cooperate so she turned off Pablo. Can you believe it??? I couldn't believe that she turned off Pablo!! I threw myself straight on the floor and had a huge fit. Mommy decided that any boy who was having a huge tantrum needed to go to bed. I carried on with my tantrum for a good thirty minutes before Daddy decided there might be something wrong with me. Mommy assured Daddy that I was perfectly fine and just wanted my way. Daddy (being a good Daddy) asked Mommy how did she know? Mommy said if you want proof fine...she touched my cheek...I stopped screaming and giggled and started screaming again after she moved her hand. Mommy told Daddy, that's how I know!! After thirty more minutes I decided to drink some liquids and then Mommy let me go watch Pablo again! Mommy told me that she will win every time. We shall see!!

I got to see My Jessica and Aunt Patty today!! I got to play with Aunt Patty while I supervised Jessica operate the vacuum. Aunt Patty wouldn't go into my tent. Uncle Fester, please explain to Aunt Patty that she has to do what I say!!!

Mommy and me went to get our haircut today. Daddy went with us because it is suppose to be his job to take me to get my haircut. Seems no one in Benton is happy to see me coming to get a haircut so Mommy decided I may need to go to a professional! I watched Mommy get her haircut. Mommy was giggling because I had a look on my face like a condemned man. I threw a huge fit when Ms. Tamara tried to cut my hair. Can you believe that Mommy and Daddy didn't try to rescue me from a haircut. I fought and fought and fought. I even drew blood on Ms. Tamara. Yeah, I have to give her credit because with all my fighting, she took injury rather than injury me. Anyway, I have to admit, my haircut looks real good. Daddy and Mommy think it is my best cut yet!! I wonder if Ms. Tamara is going to let me come back???

Well that is all for now!

The Hand Is Quicker Than The Eye!!!

Mommy and I went to see Uncle Fester and Aunt Patty yesterday. I got to put my finger prints all over Uncle Fester's tv and slobber on his remote control!!! HA!!! Aunt Patty gave me chocolate...sorry I got some on the carpet. She wasn't too mad though because she took me to the playground. I threw a fit when she tried to make me leave the playground. Can you believe that Aunt Patty threatened to leave me there having my fit??? I figured she was bluffing but I didn't want to take my chances so I picked myself up off the ground and ran over to her.

Guess what we did after we left Uncle Fester and Aunt Patty's??? Mommy took me to McDonald's and bought me a Happy Meal!!! I got to snack on some chicken nuggets and apple juice!! Now that I think of it, where's my toy??? Speaking of snacking...Daddy got into big trouble yesterday. When Mommy and I were leaving Aunt Patty and Uncle Fester's, I spied some left over doughnut bites around my seat (we were in Daddy's truck) and I grabbed them and threw them into my mouth and swallowed before Mommy could stop me!!! Ha!! I am learning to do things faster than Mommy can react!! Mommy says that I am not allowed to ride in Daddy's truck until he thoroughly vacuums it out!

Attention everybody...I got three new Pablo DVDs yesterday!! Mommy decided she is sick of my DVDs and has vowed to not have to see the same one but once a week. I now have all the Pablos!! Aunt Lili told Mommy that My Joey wasn't feeling good the other day and had to stay home. When Aunt Lili asked him what he did that day My Joey told her "I watched Zachary's show!" Aw, I miss and love you too Joey!!! Joey you can come to my house and hang out with me next time you don't feel good (even if you do feel good now that I think of it) because I have "Pablo Vision." Pablo Vision is sort of like XM Radio...All Pablo--Commercial Free--24/7!! Anyway, I think Mommy is warming up to Pablo because she actually laughed while watching one yesterday.

Guess what?? My Jessica came to see me today!! I was taking a nap when she got here but I got to flirt with her for quite a while afterwards. Aunt Patty and Uncle Fester were trying to convince me to get in the pool but I am not so sure about the pool this year. Daddy is pretty disappointed that I don't want to be a fish this year. Mommy seems to think I will warm up to the idea before long!

Yesterday I would have sworn that Mommy was warming up to Pablo but can you guess what she did today?? She actually made Pablo disappear and tried to lie to me by telling me Pablo was tired and had to take a nap!! Mommy doesn't like Pablo's parents because she says that his parents are always giving the other Backyardigans cheapskate snacks like crackers, apples or a glass of milk. The other Backyardingans' parents give super duper snacks out. Mommy told me that we are going to have to boycott the Backyardigans until Pablo's parents get better snacks. I told Mommy that we are not boycotting the Backyardigans because I LOVE PABLO and his chintzy snacks!!!

Bad Boy! Bad Boy! What Ya Gonna Do When They Come For You...

I got a very lengthy note sent home with me from the Baby Penitentiary yesterday. I can't believe the Warden ratted me out to Mommy and Daddy. I was very very rowdy yesterday. The Wardens are trying to teach me to share but I am not very receptive to their brainwashing. I pushed EVERYONE down yesterday and took their toys away from them!!! Mommy wasn't very impressed with my jailhouse ettiquite and told me that I have to share! Daddy wasn't too impressed with my behavior either! They seem to think that I need to focus on being nice to my buddies or I won't have any before long.

Seems the Head Warden is in trouble with Mommy today. They tried to boot me out this morning because I had an upset tummy this morning but the Head Warden left a message for Mommy at a wrong number. We don't even know who's number that is. Mommy was very very unhappy about that! My classroom Warden should have taken care of calling Mommy because she knows all the right numbers and the proper protocol on who and what numbers to call. At least my last Baby Jail called the right numbers...just the wrong person!!!

Uncle Fester finally stopped by to see me tonight!!! I got to give him his birthday card and helped Mommy make him his Birthday Orange Julius!!

Long Time No Write!!!

I really must fire my secretary. She seems to think I keep her too busy with other tasks that she doesn't have time to update my blog. And she wonders why I always make her sit in the "dawg house" (my little pop up tents and tunnels that I got for X-Mas from Aunt Terri, Uncle Tom, Jake and Brook).

Anyway, life has pretty much been business as usual lately. I am picking up new words. I can say horse, fish, Woofish (Rufus--my cat/dog), Pop Pop (Sebastian--no identity crisis there--he's definitely a cat), MINE, and bubble. Mommy is trying to get me to say "Daddy bad...Buddy loves Mommy" Being such a good boy, I shook my head and told Mommy "uh-uh." I may be going through a Mommy phase lately but I am not going to throw Daddy completely to the side.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot. I got a note sent home with me last week. Yup, the teacher sent a no no note!!! Guess what though??? It was Mommy's no no not mine!!! Mommy sent me to school in my crocs and they told Mommy not to do it anymore because they are afraid that I will get pebbles in there on the play ground and they can be hot! Bad Mommy!!! (A bunch of other Mommy's got the same note too, so Mommy didn't feel too bad.) All my teachers love my new Vans (they don't look so new anymore) and my checkered Vans. One of the cornered Mommy the other day to find out where to get them. Mommy said you have to have an Aunt Lili to have such cool shoes.

Anyway, I got up early with Mommy last Sunday because it was Father's Day. Daddy usually gets up with me on the weekends because Mommy has to get up early all week with me. Mommy decided that she likes this getting up early on the weekend business because I gave her a billion kisses! Grandpa Len, Grandpa Jim and Grandma Dale came to see me Sunday. I was distributing Father's Day cards. I will tell you what, having TWO Grandpa's present makes it really confusing when trying to distribute cards. I opted to try to give all four of them to Grandpa Len but every made me deliver Grandpa Jim's to him rather than through Grandpa Len. I don't think I hurt Grandpa Jim's feelings though because I gave him a kiss without being asked to do so or told to do so! I had lots of fun seeing Grandpas and Grandma Dale. I am really warming up to all of them.

Monday was Uncle Fester's birthday. He's in trouble though because he did not come over and give me a present since it was his birthday. Obviously he has forgotten that I have to get a present anytime he does. It's a RULE!!

Well that's all for now.

Thug In Training!!!

Mommy and I went to the park this past Sunday. There was this four or five year old boy there who kept trying to boss me around. Mommy was worried that we were going to have a brawl because I turned and looked at the boy with a "keep it up Stupid" look on my face. I didn't think he was worth wasting energy over though so I just ended up turning and walking away! Mommy worries that I am going to be a little thug but she has to admit that she is very pleased that I will stand up for myself to bullies!!! Mommy does have visions of me spending lots of time in the Principal's office when I get bigger. We have decided that if I get into trouble at school that we won't tell Daddy. Mommy is pretty clever. She told me that I can pay her $20 every time I get into trouble and we can call it legal fees that way I will be covered by attorney-client privilege and she can't tell Daddy about any trips to the Principal's office!! If she does tell I can report her to the ethics committee for breaching confidentiality rules! Something tells me though that the charges wouldn't stick!

Anyway, last night we went to a new buffet in town. Can you believe it, all those waitresses and waiters fussed over me! One of the waitresses even kissed me. Now that's what I call service!!! Mommy wasn't too keen about a strange lady kissing me but Mommy also understood the girl couldn't help herself, I am irresistible!!

Mommy picked me up from the Baby Penitentiary early today. She interrupted nap time. I didn't want to wake up but she kept planting kisses all over my face. It occurred to me when we got to the door that Mommy's early arrival couldn't mean anything good. That's right, she carried me off to the doctor!! Naturally I had an absolute fit about being weighed, measured and poked and prodded. Yes, I still don't like my doctor and yell when ever I see him. I am 33 inches tall and 25.14 pounds. The doctor quizzed Mommy on my accomplishments. It seems that the only struggle is the bottle. I just can seem to give up the bottle. I won't drink milk in a sippy cup...No matter what!!! The doctor told Mommy it that since my weight is pretty good it wouldn't hurt me to just cut me off the bottle and force me to drink milk from a sippy cup. He said don't even let me have water. That is cruel!! He inquired about my growing vocabulary. To date I can say: Daddy, Momma, Ba-Ba (bottle), Pa (Pablo--Backyardigan), Dog, Uh-Oh, Uh-Uh (No), Ball, Buddy (that's me) and Dude (Uncle Fester).

Well that is all for now!!