'Twas The Second Day After Christmas!!

I wonder if Christmas is ever going to end??!! Mommy busted me out of the Baby Penitentiary early today so we could go visiting people. I got to go to Mommy's office to say hi to Ms. Tria and everyone. I wasn't too sure about everyone at first but I eventually warmed up to them. Ms. Joann even let me type a transcript!!! Ms. Charlette was there but she didn't get too close because she knew that I would try to pull her hair out again. She did give me some of her apple and it was yummy!!!! After we left Mommy's office we went to see Sommer and Chandra. Can you believe it, Sommer had a present for me!!! I got another Christmas present!! Sommer helped me open it...I got a Tubby Tugboat. I got to play football with everyone at Worker's Comp (well the women folk at least) and played catch with Mr. Turner (Sommer's boss). I fell asleep as soon as Mommy got me into the car. Which means I was cheated out of my trip to Toys 'R Us. That's okay though because Mommy said we can go there another day when I am better rested and can best select my toy or toys!!

Well that was my day!!

No Coal For Me!!!

Daddy and me on our way to church.

Need to perfect my roping technique (dragging Santa around).

You should have told me before I dragged Santa around the house

that he might not like it!!!

I think I can get into presents!!!



Grandma Dale and Grandpa Jim got me a PONY!!!

Oh my goodness!! What a merry merry Christmas I had!! Daddy, Mommy and I went to Grandpa Jim and Grandma Dale's house for Christmas. Uncle Tom, Aunt Terri, Jake and Brooke were there too! I had an absolute blast!!! Grandpa and Grandma let me do what ever I wanted at their house! I had so much fun opening and closing cabinets, dragging Grandma's Santa Claus figure around (Mommy and Daddy finally put an end to this even though Grandma said it was okay), carrying off Grandpa's slippers, and trying to throw Grandma's china. Hey, what can I say, they said I could do what ever I wanted??!! I left Daddy and Mommy on edge because at home they know what kind of trouble I can find but don't know what trouble I can find at other people's houses. Daddy says that next time we go Grandma and Grandpa's house he is going to bring duct tape...to tape my hands to my side to keep me from trying to break things!!!!

We stopped at Uncle Fester's house on our way out of town! I got two presents from Uncle Fester and Aunt Patty!! I got a cool outfit (including a fleece jacket) from Old Navy and a car wash toy!!! Aunt Patty gave me the last two peppermint patties and Uncle Fester got greedy on me!! Can you believe that he took one of them away from me and ate it??? Talk about stealing candy from babies!! Someone call the police!! (Okay, so he opened it up and shared it with me because Mommy wasn't going to let me eat them right then)

Mommy, Daddy and I went to the Christmas Eve service in Russellville again. We even sat in the very same seats behind the same family we sat behind last year. I was asleep when we got there but woke right up when they started playing the organ. You should have seen the look on my face when I heard that noise!!! Anyway, church ended up like it did last year. That's right, Mommy and I wandered around the very same hallways, looking at the very same pictures and read the very same pamphlets. What can I say, it's our Christmas Eve tradition!!! When we got back to Grandpa and Grandma's, Grandma suggested that I open a present (along with Brooke and Jake) to take the edge of things!! Then it was off to bed because Santa wouldn't come if I weren't asleep. I tried to sneak up on Santa but I got caught when I climbed over Daddy and fell out of bed!! Grandpa and Grandma's guest room is super dark!!! (Mommy and Daddy remedied this the next night by putting a night light in the room so I could see where the bed ended and the fall begins)

When Mommy and I went into the living room on Christmas morning it was very evident that Santa had been there!! I even knew what Santa left for me because I ran straight to it! Santa left me my very own lawn mower!!! I was soooo happy to see it that I forgot all about being hungry!!! Brooke helped me with my stocking!! Guess what I got??? Santa brought me my very own pair of Crocs!!! Now Mommy and Daddy can't tell me to leave the Crocs alone because they are my very own Crocs!! Guess what though??? My Crocs have Mickey Mouse shapes in them!!! I love my Crocs even if Uncle Tom says Crocs are for girls!! (He's just jealous that Santa didn't leave him Mickey Mouse Crocs!!!) Anyways, I got a ton of great toys, books and clothes from Grandma, Grandpa, Aunt Terri, Uncle Tom, Jake, Brooke, Daddy and Mommy!! Oh yeah, Santa even stopped by my house and left me an indoor swing/slide set!! Can you believe it??? Santa stopped for me two times!!! I guess he checked his list twice and found that I have been such a good boy I deserved two visits!!!!

Grandma Dale and Aunt Terri made the best Christmas dinner I have ever had!!! I had so much fun eating everything put in front of me!! I am worried that Uncle Tom thinks all I do is eat because he kept mentioning that every time he saw me I was eating! I tried to explain to him that I am a growing boy and I have to eat and have snacks or I won't have the energy to wrassle, run or grow! Since Uncle Tom was so nice to me, I took time out of my busy eating schedule to wrassle with him! I had a great time with Jake too! I liked spying on him to see what he was doing. He was really really nice to me. I hope that I am like him when I am bigger because he didn't ignore me just because he is bigger than me! Poor Brooke was not feeling very well for Christmas. I think she had a great day nonetheless. She tried to keep her distance from me since she wasn't feeling well!

Anyway, it was back to business today! I had to go to the Baby Penitentiary for three whole hours. (Daddy and Mommy dropped me off when we got back to town so Mommy could do a deep clean of the house) I had plenty of time to tell all my buddies about what a great Christmas I had (with the exception of Uncle Fester stealing a piece of my candy)! When I got home all of my new toys were set up for me. Guess what, I ran straight to my lawn mower!!! Then I realized I had a dilemma...I didn't want my vacuum to get lonely so I had to push it around the house for a while!! It seems two days of being alone caused Rufus to miss me. He even acted happy to see me and all my noisy toys!!! I have to go to the Baby Penitentiary tomorrow but only for a half a day. Mommy says we are going to run around Little Rock tomorrow afternoon and might stop by the toy store (if I am really good) to use my baby credit card that Aunt Lili sent me.

Well that is all for now. Oh yeah, thank you everyone for all of my wonderful presents!!

Werk Perk!!!

Santa Claus (Mommy said it was actually his helper) came to the Baby Penitentiary yesterday!! Guess what??? He brought me a present!! That's right, I got a brand new book that I get to read with Daddy!!! Mommy said it was just Santa's helper because Santa Claus is coming to visit me Sunday night (but I will be sleeping not peeping)!! Anyway, my cell block had a Christmas party. I brought Christmas cookies with thick, rich and creamy icing (I have mastered the art of scraping the icing off with my thumb and popping it straight into my mouth). Some one else signed up to bring Cheese Puffs. Mommy was bothered by other inmates' Mommies (and/or Daddies) not signing up to bring other stuff that was on the list, so Mommy went back to the store to buy some candy for us. Of course she bought the stuff I like, York Peppermint Patties and Hershey's Chocolate bars (Uncle Fester got me hooked on the Peppermint Patties. He tried to give me some peanut M & Ms but Mommy and Aunt Patty explained to him that he is a peanut brain because I am too little for that)! Oh anyway, Daddy told Mommy that one of the reasons that he loves her is because she didn't want the kids to have a crummy party because of their parents. Mommy told Daddy that he doesn't know her at all because she didn't care if the other inmates had a crummy party, she was only worried about ME having a crummy party!! Thanks Mommy!!!

I went to work today! I had a FANTASTIC day!!! I got my Christmas present early from Aunt Kay and Uncle Carl. Guess what I got??? I got a huge playhouse! It has a table inside, a sink, a phone, shutters that open and close, a door and a working door bell!!! Guess what else, I have my very own office!!!!! Aunt Kay and Uncle Carl set up my office for me. It has all my big boy toys in it and I have plenty of room to play. I just love my office. My playhouse is set up inside my office. I love my playhouse even more! I have to say, Mommy and Daddy picked the perfect godparents for me because they spoil me rotten because they love me. I have to admit, I love them tons too!!!

Sebastian and I have officially bonded. Mommy was holding Sebastian yesterday and she told me to say "hi" to him. I sort of said "hi" by kissing him on his head!!! Sebastian seemed okay with it until I tried to hug him too! I think Sebastian thought that we had not evolved that far in our "relationship" to get so lovey dovey, so he took off running. I wonder if Rufus is ever going to let me kiss him??? Mommy told me not to hold my breath on that.

Well that is all for now. Oh wait, no it is not. I have some professional pictures on the way. They look fantastic. They should be in late next month or early February (Mommy is probably going to use someone else next time because this one is slow...good but slow), so wait patiently. Mommy promises to distribute them as soon as they get here. Well I probably won't post before Christmas so everyone have a very Merry Christmas!!!

If I Want A Flu Shot I Will Ask For One!!!

Mommy only thought that I would get a flu shot today but I had other plans. I started running a fever yesterday and had a high one this morning. Yep, that's right....no flu shot for me. Mommy needs to understand that I will thwart any known attempt to get me injected with anything!!

Anyway, I got to hang out with Mommy all day! She even said that I was extraordinarily sweet today!! Mommy ran out of kisses today (I thought Mommies never ran out of kisses!?!), so Mommy told me I had to give her a kiss to refill her kisses. So I did exactly that and she had kisses again! Am I a sucker or what???

I Better Not Get Rabies!!!

I was so happy to see Mommy rescued me from my cell block this afternoon. I knew it was her before I could even see who really opened the door. I just ran over to her and jumped into her arms (this is actually my normal routine but I had to play it up today). Anyway, the Warden told Mommy what happened to me today. Can you believe that some spineless brat bit me in my back??? Come on, my back was turned. Coward!!! The Warden was quick to chime in that I didn't bite anyone today. I was a true victim today!! But get this! Did Mommy care that I got bit?? NO!!! She simply said "FINALLY" and "SERVES HIM RIGHT!" What kind of Mommy says "finally" and "serves him right" in response to the news that her precious baby boy has been bitten by a possibly rabid brat??? Apparently the kind I have! She did at least check to see if it made a mark. I seem to think that Mommy would be more sympathetic if it left a mark. Well, maybe not considering I have bitten a whole bunch of my cellmates and Mommy. Mommy told me that I need to remember how biting hurts and that I should keep my teeth to myself. She also said that since I now know that biting hurts that I should defend myself from other kids who want to bite me. Hey wait a minute!! Now that I think about it Daddy didn't even seem to care that I got bit?? Now that bites!!!

Mommy, Daddy and I went out to dinner tonight. The waitress said that I am the best behaved baby she had come across in a restaurant. I don't know why anyone would think that I wouldn't act right in a restaurant. After all, I get to go out to eat at least once a week and my parents make sure that I have table etiquette (well at least when it comes to behavior...they are working on my with my shoveling food into my mouth technique.) I got to eat grilled chicken, corn and a roll. Once I ate a sufficient amount of chicken and corn Mommy gave me the macaroni and cheese she was hiding from me. I was so happy to see the macaroni and cheese!!! I had some chicken in my mouth at the time but I decided I needed to make room for the macaroni and cheese so I spit my chicken out into my hand and promptly threw it to the side on the floor!! For dessert I had some apple sauce and strawberry shortcake. I was stuffed!!! Daddy decided to leave the waitress a real good tip because I got kind of messy and Rufus wasn't there to help with my discards!

Anyway, that was my day!! Joey you need to come to school with me to cover my back!!

Real Men Face Forward and Use Sippy Cups!!!

Well it has been a while since my secretary has given everyone an update. I was sick for two days last week and got to stay home with Mommy. I was running a fever on my twelve month check up so I couldn't get my shots. Oh bummer!!! Since I am 23 1/2 pounds, I got my seat turned around. I now get to see the world coming rather than going!!! The doctor has ordered me off formula and onto milk. I don't like milk!!! I got a real bad sinus infection and had to go back to the doctor last Friday. The doctor relented and told Mommy to let me have my formula until I got better just in case I might be allergic to milk. Mr. Smarty Pants M.D. though got back at me by giving me my immunizations. That hateful nurse left a bruise on me and cut my arm! (Mommy says there is a name for people like that nurse.)

Anyway, I had a great weekend. Mommy, Daddy and I went somewhere Saturday but we don't seem to remember where. We had fun though!!! Mommy and Daddy ditched me for a couple of hours on Sunday, they claimed to have had some business to tend to for Santa Claus but I don't think Santa would really trust those two with his business. Fortunately they were kind enough to leave me with my two girls, Jessica and Ryan!! I had a blast hanging out with them. The only problem was that since Mommy and Daddy weren't home I was in charge of making sure that Jessica did her job properly. Can you believe that I had to go behind her while she was vacuuming with my own vacuum to make sure that the carpets were properly cleaned??? It's okay though because I love Jessica and just wanted to make sure that she didn't get fired from her job!! When Mommy and Daddy came home they wisked me off to Coleman's birthday party. Coleman is my second cousin. He's a big guy...he's 6. I wasn't too sure about all the people at Coleman's birthday party until I realized that I was going to get a man-sized piece of cake. Mommy said baby-size but Aunt Jane made sure that I got a man-sized piece. I had all kinds of energy after I ate that!!

Anyway, I am in intensive sippy cup therapy. I don't understand why I can't keep my bottle. Why doesn't anyone understand that I don't have any interest whatsoever in holding my own bottle, so why would anyone think I will hold a sippy cup??? Seriously though, after two weeks I must admit that I am bending to everyone's will. This sippy cup thing is pretty cool because I can drink as much (or as little) as I want without having to rely on anyone. Also, I learned that I can share my drink with my friends at school (the Wardens don't approve of this practice and rumor has it that Mommy doesn't either). Uncle Carl and Aunt Kay made sure that I kept to my sippy cup while at work. I really thought those two would bend to my will and let me have a bottle...No such luck!!! I am also enjoying man food!! I get to eat all kinds of stuff (I even enjoyed some Hot and Spicy Chex Mix)! Mommy is having fun buying all kinds of food and treats that she thinks I might enjoy. So far the cookies with gobs of icing are my favorite. I even learned how to scrape the icing off the cookie with my thumb and scoop all the icing in my mouth!!!

I have officially bonded with my furry brothers, Sebastian and Rufus. Sebastian has always been my buddy but we really bonded over cat treats and cookies. I tried to share my cookie with him but he told me to eat my cookie and he would eat his cat treats. Wasn't that nice of him to tell me to have all of the cookie myself?? Rufus (who I have adored forever but he has ignored me) has finally realized just how important I am to him. Mommy noticed Rufus, who always was pleasantly plump, has been growing even more. Daddy use to say that Rufus looks like a football with legs...Mommy is beginning to think that too. Rufus has learned to sit under my high chair and wait for food. He gets all kinds of stuff that I don't think cats are suppose to eat (or would even want too)!!! Rufus lets me near him now because he knows he has to be nice to me if he wants me to continue throwing food down to him!!

Well that is all for now. Oh yeah, my proofs are back from the photographer and I must admit that I am HANDSOME!!! Mommy isn't biased or anything but she swears that I am the most beautiful boy ever (sorry Joey, Jesse and Scotty I trumped all of you). Anyhow, it seems that we probably won't get the pictures back before Christmas so everyone has to be patient. Mommy and I assure all picture recpients that you will get a picture just as soon as they come in (0kay, maybe shortly thereafter!)

P.S. Uncle Fester: You need to remember that Mommy doesn't want you to buy me any violent video games to go with the PS3 you are buying me for Christmas!

Toys Up The Wazoo!!!

Have mercy!!! Toys 'R Us has exploded and all the toys landed in my house!!! I got all kinds of presents (aka toys) this weekend!! Grandpa Jim and Grandma Dale came over to give me presents!! My new favorite toy is this ball popper that Grandpa Jim and Grandma Dale got for me. It burps balls out and it is a blast to play with!!! I got a fire truck and blocks from Grandpa Len and Granny Bev!! Guess what else??? My Joey and Aunt Lili came all the way from Dallas to come see me!!! They brought me all kinds of Cars toys and the movie (they are from Uncle F.O. and Jesse too)!!! Of course Uncle Fester, Aunt Patty, Ryan and Jessica came over to bring me presents too!! I love pulling my puppy around (not a real puppy though because Mommy won't let me have one yet). Then Aunt Kay and Uncle Carl came over and brought me a present. I think I was on toy overload because I screamed when I saw what it was. Everyone laughed at my reaction!! Uncle Fester said that I cried because I wanted a Play Station 3 not the "baby" version of a video game system. Uncle Jerry and Auntie Norma even came by and brought me a present! I got my very own laptop and briefcase. I am going to have to make sure Uncle Carl and Aunt Kay give me a pay raise at work now that I have expanded my abilities into the computer world! Oh yeah, I even got a present from my neighbors, Toni, Paradise, Italy and Lorenzo. They gave me a slipper and Sock Monkey robe. Mommy thinks I look absolutely handsome in my robe!! Thanks everyone for all my presents!!!

Anyway, I am exhausted from all this getting presents business. Mommy told me to rest up because it is going to happen all over again in 22 days on Christmas. I suspect that Mommy and Daddy are going to tell people to scale back on toys (especially the ones that make noise). I must admit that I think I even have more toys than a boy of my age knows what to do with. Well that is all for now!! Thanks again everyone!!!