Mind Games!!!

Mommy, Daddy and I went to Dardanelle last Saturday to visit Grandma Dale. Mommy let me get donuts for the ride to Grandma's house. When she realized I had not dug into my donuts she told me I needed to start eating. I told Mommy that I had to wait until I got to Grandma's house so I could eat at the table. Mommy finally convinced me that I probably didn't need to wait to get to Grandma's house to eat because it would be a long car ride. I guess Mommy thinks that sometimes it is okay to act like you were raised in a barn by eating in the car!! I obeyed though and gobbled down three big donuts. Yummy. Guess what??? When we got to Grandma's house I took off all my clothes and hopped right into Grandma's pool! I couldn't wait to get there because I wanted to go swimming. I got to hang out in the pool while Daddy and Mommy fiddled with fixing Grandma's gazebo. I thought it looked good but Mommy was disappointed because the measurements were not perfect. Oh well!!

I cannot believe how my weekend ended! We had Dude, Aunt Patty, Ryan and Jessica over for a barbecue. Guess what?? Ryan and Jessica brought their boyfriends! Oh the mind games!! I like Ryan's boyfriend Keith a whole lot but Jessica's boyfriend is another story! It makes me sad that Jessica is cheating on me!!! I thought Jessica and I would be together FOREVER but there she was, cheating on me right in my face! I don't care that her boyfriend is named after my favoritest train ever---it's just not right that he has my girl!! If I were four I would have smashed him in the nose!!! I hope Jessica comes to her senses and realizes I am the only guy for her! Does she not know that she is causing a lot of psychological damage to me???

Mommy picked me up from school early on Wednesday. I should have known that Mommy waking me up with a million kisses at nap time wasn't a good sign. As we were walking out of the room Mommy noticed that the little predator that bit me was right under our feet. We contemplated thumping him on the head as we walked out but decided that really wouldn't be nice! When we passed Starbucks, I asked Mommy where we were going. She said "to that building over there!" I asked, "what building?" She pointed to the building and said "that one." I announced that I didn't want to go to that building because that was the doctor's building. Mommy said we had to go there because I needed more squirties (nose spray). I asked her if we were only getting squirties. She assured me that it was just for squirties. She even pinkie promised that it was just for squirties! Guess what? I was super cooperative with the nurse and doctors since we were just there for more squirties. Mommy was impressed that I was so cooperative. Mommy figured I would be though because it was the doctor that I really really like (not as much as Bella's doctor but close). Can you believe that the doctor also threw in a lecture about not pooping in my unders??? Mommy put her up to it! Shame on Mommy for embarrassing me like that!!! I promised the doctor that I would stop pooping in my unders. I told Mommy to stop talking to me when we got in the car. I can't believe that Mommy would let me get embarrassed like that. Naturally I broke my promise to the doctor! Oh well, she can sue me!

Mommy has finally resorted to taking my choo-choos away. She told me that for every pair of unders she has to clean I have to give her one of my choo-choos. That is below the belt and made me cry! I did tell Mommy before I fell asleep that I was sorry for pooping in my unders! Mommy thinks I am a smart little boy for getting out in front of the issue by offering up an unsolicited apology.

Guess what??? Today I had to handover two of my brand new choo-choos to Daddy for messing up my unders. Couldn't they just spank me??? Mommy says that pretty soon she is going to have lots of choo-choos and I won't have any at all. We will see! I plan on getting my choo-choos back. The lack of choo-choos may be the motivation I need because I have a feeling that Mommy really will take all my choo-choos and not give them back unless I offer up some sort of payment in poop!

Well that is all for now. Mommy and me are taking a road trip to Dallas tomorrow after we get home from work and school. Daddy gets to stay behind and clean up that mess of a backyard for us! We will miss him---NOT!!! Okay, well maybe just a little. I think I am going to be really busy hanging out with Joey and swimming in the pool to notice that I will only have one nagging parent around!!

That Punk Attacked Me!!!

Guess what??? Some little punk attacked me at school!!! When Mommy picked me up today she saw that I had a Ouch Report waiting for her. The note said that I was bitten by some little punk (my words not the wardens). The Warden couldn't tell Mommy who bit me so I did the only thing that was acceptable...I ratted that little punk out for biting me. I think I had to push Mommy's eyes back into their sockets when she realized the little punk who bit me was the same punk who got kicked out of the penitentiary one year ago to be exact for the very same offense. He bit me and everyone else last year and had to go to a different penitentiary but they let him back into mine a little while ago. Mommy had a few words with the Assistant Warden about me being maliciously attacked by a known predator. I am the second boy he bit since he has been back. Daddy and Mommy are contemplating sending me to a new school (I wonder if they have room at Carter's new school) so that I won't get bit by Jaws anymore. Just so everyone knows, Mommy and Daddy are realists---they realize I am going to get bitten every now and then but they shouldn't be being handed out by the same offender, especially one that was kicked to the curb before for the same offense. How many other innocent victims will he attack??? For all of those who know my true ways----the Warden assured Mommy that the attack was unprovoked!!!

Mommy says that if someone bites me again I am allowed to "smash" them. I assured Mommy though that I don't smash people, cars or trains because it is not nice. That made Mommy happy to know that I truly am a good boy who doesn't think it is nice to "smash" other kids regardless of the reason. Mommy's smile didn't last long when she realized that eventually her sweet angel baby boy will eventually adopt a different opinion about smashing bullies!! However, I think she will enjoy me being a perfect angel while I am one. Now that I think of it, could she ever possibly think of me any other way???

Since I was being a stool pigeon today, I decided to rat Daddy out for refusing to buy me donuts this morning. I told Mommy that Daddy was mean and that we should call the po-lice for denying me donuts!! Funny how I thought of the po-lice in my conversation with Mommy about donuts!!! Anyway, I don't think Mommy thought the deprivation of donuts wasn't a serious enough of an offense to warrant involving the po-lice. This time at least!!!

Well that is all for now. Oh wait, no it is not!!! I have to give a shout out to My Jessica! She graduated from high school today (even if it was Bryant) with an honors tassel. She sure is setting a good example for me! Way to go Jessica!!!

Meet Me In Saint Louis!!! Again!!!

Let's Get this Vacation Started!!!

I Can Fly!!!

I Can Drive FAST!!!

What A Way To End A Vacation!!!

(Dude--Send Presents!!!)

Mommy and Daddy took me to one of my favoritest places in the world this past weekend---St. Louis!! I was so excited about getting to go to St. Louis. I was talking about going to St. Louis all week at school. Finally Thursday came and off we went!! I am happy to report that Daddy got us to St. Louis safe and sound despite the fact that we think his Navigation lady had one too many fermented grape juice boxes if you catch my drift! We finally told her to shut it because she was way crazy! Mommy always wonders why they have female navigation people because she really doesn't think most people wouldn't take directions from a lady. I am not sure what Mommy meant by that because I know that Mommy can get anywhere!! Daddy is a believer too because he doubted her directions and Mommy had to scold him by saying "After a billion years of being married, you still don't trust my giving directions solely by the position of the sun, stars, moon, etc.???" Mommy then told Daddy that he couldn't find the St. Louis Arch if he were standing under it!!

Anyway, Daddy hooked us up with a really nice hotel right down town by the Arch and the ball park. There was all kinds of activities going on that I got to monitor. Daddy tried to get me to go on a carriage ride ("horse choo-choo") but I didn't want to have any part of that. I don't trust them horse choo-choos!!! This one horse and me had a thing for each other though. Mommy doesn't think it was as friendly as I remember it to be because when I first saw the horse it peed rivers of pee right there in the street. It cracked Mommy and me up. A little while later, we saw the very same horse on the very same corner. The carriage driver asked Mommy if I was traumatized from the last time. Mommy said "No" but just as she said it, the horse let out a giant poop right there in the street. Mommy, me and the carriage driver thought it was hysterical! His passengers didn't see the humor in it until he told them that the horse does his business every time he sees me. Mommy and I later saw the same horse at the hotel across the street, so I yelled "No pee or poop horsey!!!" Guess what, he didn't pee or poop that time. I was so proud of myself but Mommy thinks the horse didn't recognize me because I wasn't on the "potty corner."

We went to the Zoo on Friday and Saturday! I rode that choo choo everywhere. I finally relented and got off the train to look at some animals. I really like those penguins but those things sure can generate a stink!!! Mommy and Daddy also took me to a little carnival where I got to ride all kinds of rides. I threw a fit at the fair though because the roller coaster was broke! Fortunately, they fixed it before we left and and I got to ride it. I LOVE ROLLER COASTERS!!! They go fast!!!!

I ended up running a fever Saturday night. I woke up in the morning crying because my tummy hurt really really bad. I cried for hours because my tummy hurt. Mommy and Daddy took me to a "Doc in a Box" so I could get checked out before we drove home. The doctor told me that based on my symptoms and the pain in my tummy that I had to go to the emergency room. We sat for hours in the emergency room at the Children's Hospital. I don't know why they are rated number 5 in the country. It was an absolutely horrible experience! Can you believe that the poked me with needles??? Mommy assured the nurses that I would put up a huge fight. It took Daddy, two nurses and another nurse to fight me to get the IV in my arm all of this while I was wrapped up like a burrito. Next time they won't look at Mommy with that look like "We can handle it, we are professionals." I don't think the nurses were very happy with me!!! The fight wouldn't have gone on so long if they wouldn't have messed up my other arm to begin with. Okay, well maybe it would have! They took all kinds of blood from me and pumped liquids into me. They kept telling me I had to potty in a cup. I kept saying "No." The nurses told Mommy and Daddy that they needed me to pee or they would have to put a catheter in me. Mommy gave them a "whatever" look. Mommy told me I had to potty in the cup or they were going to be really mean to me. So I struck a deal with the devil. I asked the nurse if I could go home if I pottied in the cup. She said yes, so off I went to potty in the cup. Mommy told me afterwards that she wouldn't have let them mess with my willy despite their desire to get a urine sample. Mommy did add that if I was howling in pain, she would let them do it to get to the bottom of my troubles. The nurses got real sweet with me. Daddy noticed how nice they were being to us, Mommy insists its because they messed up somehow and they are afraid we will figure it out. Anyway, the doctor gave me the all clear and let me go home. They didn't figure out what was causing my tummy problems but all the major concerns were covered. I was more than happy to run out of there. I just wanted to go home so I could take a nap!

I did point out to Mommy that I needed to go to the Toys Store to get that Big Wow Wow Super Choo-Choo that I have been begging for for months. Mommy said since my day was so horrible and I went through so much, that we could get the choo-choo. I told her to go right then but she said the toy store was closed. I told her that the toy store was not closed. Mommy assured me that if we passed an open Toys 'R Us on a Sunday night anywhere between St. Louis and home we would stop. Guess what? There weren't any open Toys 'R Us'.

The topic hasn't come up yet but Daddy lost my blue blankey somewhere between Sikeston, Missouri and Osceola, Arkansas. Mommy keeps waiting for me to inquire about my blankey so she can let me know that Daddy lost my blankey!!! When I find out my blue blankey is still on vacation, I am going to make Daddy go get it!!! Daddy pointed out to Mommy that she left my precious "baba" at the hotel in St. Louis. Mommy replied that I didn't need it anyway. Is she crazy?? I need my precious baba just as much as I need my blue blankey. They are both going to be in BIG BIG trouble when I figure out what they did!

Well we got home safely, thanks Daddy!! I had to stay home from the Baby Penitentiary today because I still had a fever. Daddy took me to his office so I could see Aunt Kay and Uncle Carl and to get Bella. Bella stayed with Uncle Carl again. He is super nice for taking care of My Bella while I was out of town. It turns out that Bella was very bad at Uncle Carl's house. I am sorry that Bella was bad at Uncle Carl's. I hope Uncle Carl doesn't think that it was my fault that Bella was bad. I am sorry for the both of us! Mommy picked me up from the office so she could take care of me this afternoon. I reminded her that we needed to get the Big Wow Wow Choo-Choo. Guess what?? She let us stop at the toy store to get it! It almost makes up for a bad ending to my vacation!!! Okay, so maybe it makes up for it completely!!

Those crazy doctors called the house this afternoon. What did they do, sit up all night trying to come up with illnesses for me? They finally decided that since they couldn't find anything wrong with me yesterday that they could try to say that maybe that there is a one in a million chance that the tick bite I had could have caused my issues. What ever!! Let's see if they call tomorrow with a new theory!

By and large, I think Daddy and Mommy produced a wonderful weekend of fun for me! Well that is all for now!

Date Night!!!

I took Mommy out on a very special date last night!! Just me and Mommy--no Daddy allowed!! When I got home from the Baby Penitentiary I gave Mommy the flowers I made her. She loved them!!!

We then got in the car so I could take her on our date. We went to Playtime Pizza!!! It was an absolute blast!!! I got to play all kinds of games, ride the bumper cars And go bowling!!! Mommy finally made me leave. To cap off our date we went to the toy store and got a big new train and a new diego game for the Wii! This was the best date ever!!

Well that is all for now! Happy Mother's Day to all the Mommies everywhere!!!!

TKO!!!

Mommy hooked up my Baby Wii for me last week. I really missed playing my Baby Wii games. Fortunately for me, Mommy decided that she could no longer tolerate the graphics on my Baby Wii so she got me a Big Boy Wii!!! I even got to pick out my own game. I can't play all of the games on the game I picked but there are several that I can do all by myself and Mommy sets it up so it just cycles through the games I can play. My favoritest game though is boxing---I LOVE TO FIGHT!!!! Mommy made a Mii that looks just like me. I like to "SMASH" the other players. I knocked out three guys in a row!! I even made Mommy fight me but I think she let me win because she didn't like the idea of hitting my Wii Mii!! I keep asking to "fight" but Mommy is not letting me play on demand. If you ask me, she is trying to get me hooked on the Wii so she can take it away from me when I am naughty, which is why I like to "SMASH" Mommy. I even got a race car game with a steering wheel but I mainly just like to go in reverse and crash into things. My driving annoys Mommy and she is convinced that Daddy taught me to drive!!

I am pleased to report that Daddy hurt himself playing the Wii!! We will have to find less strenuous games for Daddy!

Bella is getting HUGE!!! She is already 27 inches tall at the withers and weighs 74 lbs. She is a giant and is just about as tall as I am. Guess what though??? Bella just adores me and she is super gentle with me!! She knows I am the BOSS!!! We are going to be the best of friends!

Well that is all for now. Oh yeah, Dude come visit me so I can SMASH you!!!