Daddy Turns 50 and Buddy Buys Some Bling!!!

Daddy turned the big 5-0 yesterday! Happy happy birthday Daddy!!! I got Daddy lots of cards and I got Daddy a super nice watch. He promises that he loves it! I hope he does. I wanted him to have something that he can look at for the next fifty years! Well, I must confess, I was actually so excited about his present that I gave it to him the night before his birthday. Mommy is making a mental note to not show me where Daddy's presents are until the day of!

I have some news of my own. Mommy's necklace broke on Sunday. The chain snapped in half for no apparent reasons (okay so Mommy may think I was a major contributor to its demise but I was no where in the vicinity of the necklace when it hit the floor). When I noticed Mommy's necklace was missing I asked what happened. She told me it was broke. I told Mommy sorry! Yesterday, Daddy and I were at the store getting his watch sized properly and I noticed all the pretty necklaces in the cabinet. I found the perfect one for Mommy and I told Daddy that I wanted to buy it for Mommy (okay, so maybe I didn't really want to use my own money). It was a really nice gold necklace with a cross pendant with diamond accents. Daddy took one look at the price and said "No Way!" I was relentless about the necklace and kept telling Daddy that Mommy had to have it. Daddy finally asked the sales lady if the necklace was on sale. She said it sure is with a big big discount. Guess what?? I got to get the necklace for Mommy. Daddy also got Mommy another necklace for her other pendant. I was so excited to give it to Mommy when we got home. Mommy was so happy about the necklace!!!! I told Mommy that I bought it for her because I love her. I kept telling her that over and over. I was so proud to see Mommy put on the necklace. After I finished declaring how much I love her, I told Mommy "Don't lose this one!" Mommy had to laugh because I am so clever. What can I say, I love Mommy and wanted her to have a nice necklace around her neck!

Poor Daddy though, it was his birthday and Mommy got a present. Also, I have a sneaking suspicion that she really isn't too interested in the necklace that Daddy got her or the pendant that she normally wears since I picked out such a good necklace and pendant. At least Daddy now understands the ordeal Mommy went through when we went Father's Day shopping and my insistence that Mommy purchase Daddy the exact same green shirt that he received the week before. I can be a very persistent and persuasive little fella!

I have been sick lately. Guess who took care of me this morning??? Dude took care of me this morning. He was on vacation so Mommy asked him to lord over me this morning. Dude did an excellent job of taking care of me! Mommy asked if Dude yelled, spanked or made me cry this morning. Of course he didn't!!! My Dude is the best! Thanks Dude!!

Dude Days of Summer!!!

Dude Got Me To Sprout Wings!!!

I Can Swim!!!

Wow!!! It's been a busy couple of weeks for me. Now that I have attained "Almost Grown Man Status" I have been real busy doing all the things that guys my age do. I went to Dude's house on his birthday to deliver him a present! I think he loved his present! Then a few days later, I got to go back to Dude's house because he cooked us dinner on his brand spanking new birthday grill. The only disappointment was that Jessica was again flaunting the fact that she dumped me for an older guy and there was no lettuce for my hamburger!!! Dude next time make sure there is lettuce!!! I mean, "What's up with that?"

I made certain that Daddy had a wonderful Father's Day because he really deserved one. I got him a card and presents that I picked out over Mommy's objections. Guess what though??? Daddy loved all his presents especially since he knew that I had to argue with Mommy to get them!! I don't know why she tried to argue with me about them, he's my Daddy and I wanted to get him what I got him and she needs to just butt out when it comes to the gifts I want Daddy to have!!! I also got to go have Father's Day breakfast with Daddy, Dude and Grandpa Len!! What a way to celebrate Father's Day!

I got Daddy his birthday present this weekend. Daddy is turning the big 5-0 tomorrow. I am not sure how much 50 is but I think it is a lot! Good thing for Daddy that I am around because I will keep him young!!!

Guess what else?? My Joey returned!! He is going to stay with me this summer and work with Daddy! For the record, I am suppose to say that Joey Rules and Jesse Drools!!! However, I still love Jesse too!! Dude got me to wear the water wings that Mommy and Daddy have been fighting with me over. Mommy knew that Dude could convince me to wear them and he sure did. The only problem is Dude let go of me before I was super comfortable with the idea. Eventually I figured out that he had let go of me and I was floating around the pool all on my own! Not cool Dude!!! That's okay though because Mommy is pretty sure that it won't take me very long to figure out how much fun I can have with my new wings!!

Well that is all for now!!! I hope everyone has a fantastic week and a safe 4th of July!!!

Summer Fun!!!

What A Jump!!!

I Want A Real Pool!!!

Mommy Plays Dirty!!!

Daddy worked really really hard and got my pool all set up for me! It was so hot today, when we got home from work and school we all went into the pool for a nice cool swim. I had a blast. I am quickly getting over my pool fears. Mommy says that I am a jumping and swimming fool, sort of an aquatic version of Forrest Gump!!!

Busy, Busy and More Busy!!!

I have been a very busy boy lately!!! I chaperoned Mommy on a trip to Dallas last weekend. Mommy was kind enough to let me stretch my legs on restaurant playgrounds going there and coming back. We went to deliver Aunt Lili her birthday cards and present. Happy happy B-Day Aunt Lili!!! I was super excited to see Uncle F.O. I was sound asleep when we got there. Mommy woke me up so I could see Uncle F.O. because I kept saying I wanted to see him. I had a huge smile on my face when I saw him!! Anyway, I got to see Aunt Lili the birthday girl. I asked her how old she was but Mommy just said "old!" I also got to see a glimpse of Joey. Mommy and I liked to torment him in the morning to wake him up. Joey is busy making money at the car wash. We went there to get the car wash. I ran up to Joey when I saw him getting a drink of water. Do you know that he turned and started to walk away from me??? Eventually the dunderhead realized it was me and picked me up so I could get some water too!! He was kind enough to let me give him a kiss goodbye in front of all his buddies. That was his tip and he better appreciate it!!! I also got to hang out with Jesse. It turns out now that he thinks he's is a man, he has more time to hang out with us little people!

I got to go swimming in Aunt Lili's pool. They kept telling me to put my swim trunks back on but who wants to be confined??? I like letting it all hang out!!! However, I did agree to put my swim trunks on when company came over. I got to play with Connor. Let me tell you, he may be a little guy but he is a swimming fool!!! I have a lot of work to do to catch up to him. Speaking of Connor--Aunt Lili kept calling me Connor. That is so not cool!!!



This past Friday, Daddy and Mommy took me to get special pizza. I got to ride the fast car with Daddy!!! I loved the go karts until some dizzy brat smashed into us!! After we got special pizza, we went and got me a new movie at the big boy toy store. Yesterday and today were spent doing yard work. We are beautifying our backyard and getting it all ready for summer!!


Daddy and I got in trouble today. I got in trouble and Daddy put me in the corner. Daddy got in trouble because he didn't make sure that I didn't have any contraband items on me. I had a blast coloring the floors and walls while I was in the corner. When Mommy caught me, I told her that Jessica will have to clean it up. Mommy brought me the wipes and told me that I had to clean it all up. Can you believe that she stood over me while I wiped the floors and walls all clean??? Isn't there a law against this type of discipline?? And why didn't Daddy have to help clean up--he was just as guilty!!


Well that is all for now. Oh wait, no it is not. Daddy is busy contemplating why I always get up at the crack of dawn when he wakes up with me but I always sleep until 7:30 or 8:00 when Mommy gets up with me! The answer is simple---I want Mommy to get her rest!!!

Mind Games!!!

Mommy, Daddy and I went to Dardanelle last Saturday to visit Grandma Dale. Mommy let me get donuts for the ride to Grandma's house. When she realized I had not dug into my donuts she told me I needed to start eating. I told Mommy that I had to wait until I got to Grandma's house so I could eat at the table. Mommy finally convinced me that I probably didn't need to wait to get to Grandma's house to eat because it would be a long car ride. I guess Mommy thinks that sometimes it is okay to act like you were raised in a barn by eating in the car!! I obeyed though and gobbled down three big donuts. Yummy. Guess what??? When we got to Grandma's house I took off all my clothes and hopped right into Grandma's pool! I couldn't wait to get there because I wanted to go swimming. I got to hang out in the pool while Daddy and Mommy fiddled with fixing Grandma's gazebo. I thought it looked good but Mommy was disappointed because the measurements were not perfect. Oh well!!

I cannot believe how my weekend ended! We had Dude, Aunt Patty, Ryan and Jessica over for a barbecue. Guess what?? Ryan and Jessica brought their boyfriends! Oh the mind games!! I like Ryan's boyfriend Keith a whole lot but Jessica's boyfriend is another story! It makes me sad that Jessica is cheating on me!!! I thought Jessica and I would be together FOREVER but there she was, cheating on me right in my face! I don't care that her boyfriend is named after my favoritest train ever---it's just not right that he has my girl!! If I were four I would have smashed him in the nose!!! I hope Jessica comes to her senses and realizes I am the only guy for her! Does she not know that she is causing a lot of psychological damage to me???

Mommy picked me up from school early on Wednesday. I should have known that Mommy waking me up with a million kisses at nap time wasn't a good sign. As we were walking out of the room Mommy noticed that the little predator that bit me was right under our feet. We contemplated thumping him on the head as we walked out but decided that really wouldn't be nice! When we passed Starbucks, I asked Mommy where we were going. She said "to that building over there!" I asked, "what building?" She pointed to the building and said "that one." I announced that I didn't want to go to that building because that was the doctor's building. Mommy said we had to go there because I needed more squirties (nose spray). I asked her if we were only getting squirties. She assured me that it was just for squirties. She even pinkie promised that it was just for squirties! Guess what? I was super cooperative with the nurse and doctors since we were just there for more squirties. Mommy was impressed that I was so cooperative. Mommy figured I would be though because it was the doctor that I really really like (not as much as Bella's doctor but close). Can you believe that the doctor also threw in a lecture about not pooping in my unders??? Mommy put her up to it! Shame on Mommy for embarrassing me like that!!! I promised the doctor that I would stop pooping in my unders. I told Mommy to stop talking to me when we got in the car. I can't believe that Mommy would let me get embarrassed like that. Naturally I broke my promise to the doctor! Oh well, she can sue me!

Mommy has finally resorted to taking my choo-choos away. She told me that for every pair of unders she has to clean I have to give her one of my choo-choos. That is below the belt and made me cry! I did tell Mommy before I fell asleep that I was sorry for pooping in my unders! Mommy thinks I am a smart little boy for getting out in front of the issue by offering up an unsolicited apology.

Guess what??? Today I had to handover two of my brand new choo-choos to Daddy for messing up my unders. Couldn't they just spank me??? Mommy says that pretty soon she is going to have lots of choo-choos and I won't have any at all. We will see! I plan on getting my choo-choos back. The lack of choo-choos may be the motivation I need because I have a feeling that Mommy really will take all my choo-choos and not give them back unless I offer up some sort of payment in poop!

Well that is all for now. Mommy and me are taking a road trip to Dallas tomorrow after we get home from work and school. Daddy gets to stay behind and clean up that mess of a backyard for us! We will miss him---NOT!!! Okay, well maybe just a little. I think I am going to be really busy hanging out with Joey and swimming in the pool to notice that I will only have one nagging parent around!!

That Punk Attacked Me!!!

Guess what??? Some little punk attacked me at school!!! When Mommy picked me up today she saw that I had a Ouch Report waiting for her. The note said that I was bitten by some little punk (my words not the wardens). The Warden couldn't tell Mommy who bit me so I did the only thing that was acceptable...I ratted that little punk out for biting me. I think I had to push Mommy's eyes back into their sockets when she realized the little punk who bit me was the same punk who got kicked out of the penitentiary one year ago to be exact for the very same offense. He bit me and everyone else last year and had to go to a different penitentiary but they let him back into mine a little while ago. Mommy had a few words with the Assistant Warden about me being maliciously attacked by a known predator. I am the second boy he bit since he has been back. Daddy and Mommy are contemplating sending me to a new school (I wonder if they have room at Carter's new school) so that I won't get bit by Jaws anymore. Just so everyone knows, Mommy and Daddy are realists---they realize I am going to get bitten every now and then but they shouldn't be being handed out by the same offender, especially one that was kicked to the curb before for the same offense. How many other innocent victims will he attack??? For all of those who know my true ways----the Warden assured Mommy that the attack was unprovoked!!!

Mommy says that if someone bites me again I am allowed to "smash" them. I assured Mommy though that I don't smash people, cars or trains because it is not nice. That made Mommy happy to know that I truly am a good boy who doesn't think it is nice to "smash" other kids regardless of the reason. Mommy's smile didn't last long when she realized that eventually her sweet angel baby boy will eventually adopt a different opinion about smashing bullies!! However, I think she will enjoy me being a perfect angel while I am one. Now that I think of it, could she ever possibly think of me any other way???

Since I was being a stool pigeon today, I decided to rat Daddy out for refusing to buy me donuts this morning. I told Mommy that Daddy was mean and that we should call the po-lice for denying me donuts!! Funny how I thought of the po-lice in my conversation with Mommy about donuts!!! Anyway, I don't think Mommy thought the deprivation of donuts wasn't a serious enough of an offense to warrant involving the po-lice. This time at least!!!

Well that is all for now. Oh wait, no it is not!!! I have to give a shout out to My Jessica! She graduated from high school today (even if it was Bryant) with an honors tassel. She sure is setting a good example for me! Way to go Jessica!!!

Meet Me In Saint Louis!!! Again!!!

Let's Get this Vacation Started!!!

I Can Fly!!!

I Can Drive FAST!!!

What A Way To End A Vacation!!!

(Dude--Send Presents!!!)

Mommy and Daddy took me to one of my favoritest places in the world this past weekend---St. Louis!! I was so excited about getting to go to St. Louis. I was talking about going to St. Louis all week at school. Finally Thursday came and off we went!! I am happy to report that Daddy got us to St. Louis safe and sound despite the fact that we think his Navigation lady had one too many fermented grape juice boxes if you catch my drift! We finally told her to shut it because she was way crazy! Mommy always wonders why they have female navigation people because she really doesn't think most people wouldn't take directions from a lady. I am not sure what Mommy meant by that because I know that Mommy can get anywhere!! Daddy is a believer too because he doubted her directions and Mommy had to scold him by saying "After a billion years of being married, you still don't trust my giving directions solely by the position of the sun, stars, moon, etc.???" Mommy then told Daddy that he couldn't find the St. Louis Arch if he were standing under it!!

Anyway, Daddy hooked us up with a really nice hotel right down town by the Arch and the ball park. There was all kinds of activities going on that I got to monitor. Daddy tried to get me to go on a carriage ride ("horse choo-choo") but I didn't want to have any part of that. I don't trust them horse choo-choos!!! This one horse and me had a thing for each other though. Mommy doesn't think it was as friendly as I remember it to be because when I first saw the horse it peed rivers of pee right there in the street. It cracked Mommy and me up. A little while later, we saw the very same horse on the very same corner. The carriage driver asked Mommy if I was traumatized from the last time. Mommy said "No" but just as she said it, the horse let out a giant poop right there in the street. Mommy, me and the carriage driver thought it was hysterical! His passengers didn't see the humor in it until he told them that the horse does his business every time he sees me. Mommy and I later saw the same horse at the hotel across the street, so I yelled "No pee or poop horsey!!!" Guess what, he didn't pee or poop that time. I was so proud of myself but Mommy thinks the horse didn't recognize me because I wasn't on the "potty corner."

We went to the Zoo on Friday and Saturday! I rode that choo choo everywhere. I finally relented and got off the train to look at some animals. I really like those penguins but those things sure can generate a stink!!! Mommy and Daddy also took me to a little carnival where I got to ride all kinds of rides. I threw a fit at the fair though because the roller coaster was broke! Fortunately, they fixed it before we left and and I got to ride it. I LOVE ROLLER COASTERS!!! They go fast!!!!

I ended up running a fever Saturday night. I woke up in the morning crying because my tummy hurt really really bad. I cried for hours because my tummy hurt. Mommy and Daddy took me to a "Doc in a Box" so I could get checked out before we drove home. The doctor told me that based on my symptoms and the pain in my tummy that I had to go to the emergency room. We sat for hours in the emergency room at the Children's Hospital. I don't know why they are rated number 5 in the country. It was an absolutely horrible experience! Can you believe that the poked me with needles??? Mommy assured the nurses that I would put up a huge fight. It took Daddy, two nurses and another nurse to fight me to get the IV in my arm all of this while I was wrapped up like a burrito. Next time they won't look at Mommy with that look like "We can handle it, we are professionals." I don't think the nurses were very happy with me!!! The fight wouldn't have gone on so long if they wouldn't have messed up my other arm to begin with. Okay, well maybe it would have! They took all kinds of blood from me and pumped liquids into me. They kept telling me I had to potty in a cup. I kept saying "No." The nurses told Mommy and Daddy that they needed me to pee or they would have to put a catheter in me. Mommy gave them a "whatever" look. Mommy told me I had to potty in the cup or they were going to be really mean to me. So I struck a deal with the devil. I asked the nurse if I could go home if I pottied in the cup. She said yes, so off I went to potty in the cup. Mommy told me afterwards that she wouldn't have let them mess with my willy despite their desire to get a urine sample. Mommy did add that if I was howling in pain, she would let them do it to get to the bottom of my troubles. The nurses got real sweet with me. Daddy noticed how nice they were being to us, Mommy insists its because they messed up somehow and they are afraid we will figure it out. Anyway, the doctor gave me the all clear and let me go home. They didn't figure out what was causing my tummy problems but all the major concerns were covered. I was more than happy to run out of there. I just wanted to go home so I could take a nap!

I did point out to Mommy that I needed to go to the Toys Store to get that Big Wow Wow Super Choo-Choo that I have been begging for for months. Mommy said since my day was so horrible and I went through so much, that we could get the choo-choo. I told her to go right then but she said the toy store was closed. I told her that the toy store was not closed. Mommy assured me that if we passed an open Toys 'R Us on a Sunday night anywhere between St. Louis and home we would stop. Guess what? There weren't any open Toys 'R Us'.

The topic hasn't come up yet but Daddy lost my blue blankey somewhere between Sikeston, Missouri and Osceola, Arkansas. Mommy keeps waiting for me to inquire about my blankey so she can let me know that Daddy lost my blankey!!! When I find out my blue blankey is still on vacation, I am going to make Daddy go get it!!! Daddy pointed out to Mommy that she left my precious "baba" at the hotel in St. Louis. Mommy replied that I didn't need it anyway. Is she crazy?? I need my precious baba just as much as I need my blue blankey. They are both going to be in BIG BIG trouble when I figure out what they did!

Well we got home safely, thanks Daddy!! I had to stay home from the Baby Penitentiary today because I still had a fever. Daddy took me to his office so I could see Aunt Kay and Uncle Carl and to get Bella. Bella stayed with Uncle Carl again. He is super nice for taking care of My Bella while I was out of town. It turns out that Bella was very bad at Uncle Carl's house. I am sorry that Bella was bad at Uncle Carl's. I hope Uncle Carl doesn't think that it was my fault that Bella was bad. I am sorry for the both of us! Mommy picked me up from the office so she could take care of me this afternoon. I reminded her that we needed to get the Big Wow Wow Choo-Choo. Guess what?? She let us stop at the toy store to get it! It almost makes up for a bad ending to my vacation!!! Okay, so maybe it makes up for it completely!!

Those crazy doctors called the house this afternoon. What did they do, sit up all night trying to come up with illnesses for me? They finally decided that since they couldn't find anything wrong with me yesterday that they could try to say that maybe that there is a one in a million chance that the tick bite I had could have caused my issues. What ever!! Let's see if they call tomorrow with a new theory!

By and large, I think Daddy and Mommy produced a wonderful weekend of fun for me! Well that is all for now!